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A cryptic message leads to the clarity of Life's purpose. |
| "What is so amazing about shame is that it seems to infect your DNA at the cellular level." Solomon was right about that because the terrible paddling he received at age 16 was at the same time the worst, and the last whipping he ever received from his mother. From that point on Solomon was determined to be the best son he had ever been in front of his Mom. "Never again will I be late. Never again will I do anything to upset her. Never again will I deviate in the slightest from her set of rules because I need her to love me, and I don't think I could survive, emotionally, one more of her terrible beatings. I will be a 'good son,' if anyone could ever be called a 'good son.'" That was ten years ago. Now, at 26, Solomon is a recent college graduate in one of the three careers, that was smiled upon in his childhood home. He is not a preacher, nor a missionary, but he is a teacher, and "that is A-Okay in our book, Son," his parents are quick to affirm. For years Solomon has been considered to be an excellent Christian by friends, family, classmates, and teachers alike because he has never been disruptive in class, nor in family gatherings, he has spoken when spoken to, and he has offered very little verbal input, except when requested to do so. "So? What's the problem?" you may ask. "Your main character (aka protagonist) sounds like a model citizen, and an exemplary Christian to me." That's just the point. He did to everyone else, too. However, appearances are often quite deceiving. Solomon did and said all the right things, but he was virtually dead on the inside. When his mother, viciously and shamefully, spanked him at 16 years of age, something broke inside of him that day. At that point in his life, Solomon began to experience the deepest levels of depression he had ever experienced. He did everything he could to be right with his world on the outside, but his life, alone, was far from pleasant. Solomon became a world-class actor. No one, who knew him, could tell, that anything was wrong, but every night when he shut and locked the door to his apartment, during his college years, he flopped down on his couch and cried for hours. When his tear ducts were dry, he changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, went to bed, and fell into a fitful sleep with dreams in which he ran away from monsters, waking up in a cold sweat just before the monster caught him. Now that he has graduated from college, Solomon spends days at a time in his apartment, moping about, wondering what he should do next. Sometimes he doesn't even bother to get out of bed. He eats only when the hunger pangs get to be too much for him. He eats things cold, mostly. Sometimes he uses the microwave. He doesn't cook on the stove. The dishes are piling up in both sinks. Clothes are strewn around the apartment. Sometimes he washes out underwear in the sink and dries them over the curtain rod for his shower, which he never uses anymore, either. For Solomon Plain, life has become just plain hopeless, until one day he squeezes up enough courage to visit the mailbox. What good could that possibly do? he wonders. by Jay O'Toole on October 25th, 2022   |
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