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 |  This is a continuation of my blogging here at WdC |
| Romance Tropes That Annoy Me Letās keep talking about tropes! I started reading romance books about 15 years ago to get an idea of how to write relationships. It must have worked, considering how much Iāve sold since then, and the fact my characters (so Iāve been told) seem more realistic. However, there are a few romance tropes that just annoy me. And here they are! 1) The āFakeā Relationship She needs to get married to stay in the country! He needs a wife to shut his mother up, despite being gay. So, as a matter of convenience, they get married! But someone doesnāt believe them and so follows them to prove itās fake! Shenanigans ensue! Comedy! And none of it makes any sense. The fake relationship is real ā I know of a few ā but why anyone would care is beyond me. And some rogue agent going after themā¦ donāt they have real work to do? It does not seem to be anything that makes sense in terms of it being a decent story. And I have seen a few films and read a few books, and they all just grate. 2) Constant Sex Differences This is one where there is such a huge gender disparity it makes no sense. A male character sleeps with a lot of women and is seen as a stud and manly, but then he meets the one love of his life and the behaviour of a lifetime just stops. He is no longer a sleeze and will remain monogamous because, you know, love. A female character sleeps with a lot of men and is seen as a slut and is irredeemable and can never be rehabilitated, and when the hero finds out, he dumps her for the āniceā girl staying at home and pining for him. Normally after the hero has slept with the āslut.ā A gay character sleeps around until they meet the love of their life, because they are searching, and then itās all normal. Sorry, butā¦ no. Why the differences? Why āslut-shameā a female character and celebrate a James Bond style character? It makes no senseā¦ Psychologically, male or female, a habit of sleeping around is hard to overcome. Monogamy is not for every person. Hand in hand with this is the forgiving partnerā¦ which seems a lot like wish fulfilment or a version of the start of an abusive relationship. 3) Fixing The Bad Boy This does follow on from the previous one a little. A guy with bad behaviours ingrained is not going to be āfixedā by the love of a good woman, no matter how much that seemed to be the idea behind 50 Shades Of VomitGray and similar books. No. Abusive jerks tend to keep being abusive jerks unless they have constant and thorough psychological or psychiatric counselling. Males who have been involved as an abuser in a relationship tend to carry that abuse over to a new relationship, down to the kids. Itās unfortunate, but without help, that is the way it goes. What about abusive females? Well, unfortunately, the research hasnāt been done because until recently too many denied they even existed. But I would think without professional help, it would be the same. The love of a good woman is not going to fix someone. It might calm them down briefly, but he is still going to be an abusive jerk because it is an ingrained psychological issue. But fictionās gotta fiction, I guess, even if it makes no sense. 4) Opposites Attract Paula Abdul got it wrong. Sorry. Yes, I have known some āflingsā that have been opposites attracting, but long-term relationships actually need things in common for the relationship to last. And, yes, people can grow apart as their likes change and become further apart. But in books, especially YA, the opposites attract trope paints an unrealistic version of a relationship. Opposites might have some attraction in a āwonder what thatās likeā sort of thing, but a full-on relationship does not survive without something in common for the relationship to be based on. To the credit of most movies, if this is a starting position, the characters do tend to find they have more in common than separates them, and so, yes, that can work, but in booksā¦ not so much. 5) The Love Triangle Now, I have known some relationships that have featured this, but it does not last very long because the single gendered person will find one of the other gendered people more attractive. Or maybe it will end up being a polyamorous relationship, and some of them do work, but then where is the conflict? I think it was fine years ago, but it is so over-used, again especially in YA fiction, that it just feels like something to add conflict where there shouldnāt be any, and we get stupid Team v Team debates by fans, and one group always ends up disappointed, andā¦ who cares? Generally, it is a false means of creating a conflict when the rest of the story is failing. At least, nearly every example I have read comes across that way. If a person in a relationship is attracted to a third person, then maybe the first relationship was not built on an exactly firm foundation? There has to be a reason the eye wanders. And if someone else is trying to impose themselves into an already happy relationship, then are they really a decent person? Or is this another form of abuse? Just askināā¦ 6)Enemies To Lovers And this is the one I dislike most. Most of the time, they have no real reason to be enemies. And, if they do, the way this is overcome so they become lovers feel more convenient than realistic. Everything about this trope feels forced. And, no, coming from opposing backgrounds is not āenemies to lovers.ā A Palestinian and an Israeli falling in love despite their countries trying to obliterate one another is an example of love conquering all. But if they were on opposing armies and tried to kill one another, then fell in loveā¦ I call bullshit. Enemies to friends (see the book Enemy Mine), yes. Circumstances can do that. But to lovers? To go to that level of a relationship where a deep emotional connection is gained. Nope. To me, this is a worse fantasy than a dragon and unicorn bonking. So, six writing tropes in romance that annoy me. Of course, your mileage may vary, and, again, you might disagree and find them all perfectly fine. Great. But, to me, these do tend to draw me out of a story. |
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