Porthole

Serene in Wonderland

For

"Invalid Item"   [] by A Guest Visitor

Prompt: Write about Wonderland from this poem.

Mini-critique: It has a certain musical quality to it but needs editing, especially for flow. To correct that read out loud, establish a rhythm, control the words don't let them control you. Use Rhymezone or the WDC ideanary for synonyms or alternative words where the rhythm jars.

Line 3 can be cut because you say it in line 8. The last 5 lines can be cut as the poem ends with "Take me to Wonderland" and the questions on the end make it sound whiny. A fine whine needn't be whiny. The content and 'message' is fine.

I give it a 3.4 'as is' because although it has potential it needs lots of work.

"Blogging Circle of Friends "  Day 2998: February 1, 2021

I found my Serenity Journal, when I was cleaning out a container. Since this is the first day of a new month, I'm posting a quote from that journal.

"There is a quiet, serene confidence in knowing that all things do not stand or fall according to one's own achievements or the correctness of every decision one makes." Joseph A. Sittler

Prompt: What does this quote mean to you? How do you find moments of serenity in your day, week, or month?

I need not carry the world on my shoulders. I need not carry my grief and burdens. Sometimes what was, is, will be... is not dependent on me. Not in the sense of fate, and it does not ask me to be apathetic; it just acknowledges that I am not the center of the universe and that's it's okay to let go.

I'm okay when I'm mindful. Today it's sunny. I have some meditative music on. I can still taste the coffee I drank awhile ago. My butt is firm on the bed . My feet are warm.

I mentioned to Marvin, "We only see what we choose to see. So no... if we go by appearances we will not see the divine. If we look for the light we will find it surrounding us."

For "Weekly Goals"  Weekly 'goals'.

I've failed partly because a couple goals were too broad. I may do better with specifics. Objectives can be broad as well as laser focused. I'm avoidant and depressed. I have to be careful about being vague and overwhelmed.

1. Send out 5 postcards or letters to friends, family or folks here at WDC. Gary is #1. Others: Kate Theodora Elizabeth
2. I'll write in my journal every day: 1 2 3 4 5
3. I'll go outside every day, snow or sun: 1 2 3 4 5
4. I'll clean/unclutter something: refrigerator, plants, counters, floor, futon. Dishes don't count because I do that anyway.
5. I'll make entries for 5 contests and start to write something.

3rd haiku by Feb 13th "haikus [332]"  in **"Invalid Item" 
dnp story by Feb 14th "Second Time Around ~ Birthday Special"  **"Climbing sweet briar " 
GrP poem by Feb 14th "Second Time Around ~ Birthday Special"  **"My name's not Jack!" 
dnp free verse by Feb 14th for "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"  **"Stalactite [343]" 
dnp monster poem by Feb 15 "Amerika über alles [331]" 
dnp stormy's poem by Feb 18 "Left behind [343]" 
3rd rhyming poem by Feb 20 "Poetic Traditions Poetry Contest "  **"In search of Iris" 
1st romance poem by Feb 25 "I wish to live before my death [352]" , now **"I wish to live before I die" 
cat poem by Feb 28 "Peaches [339]"  **"Peaches" 
dnp quotation story by Feb 28 "Quotation story by 2/28 820 words Unwrapped "  **"Embers" 
story by Feb 28 "A nudge of narwals minus 782-69 words"  **"At the water's edge" 
1st children's story by Feb 28 "Traveling Teddy [355]"  **"Traveling Teddy" 
bad poem by Feb 28 "TEXT BOOK NEW LOVE [353]"  Decided to not submit.
1st love poem by Feb 27 **"Crone and Sage [349]"  from "Crone and Sage" 
dnp dark poem by Feb 28 "loves lies bleeding Paid in full [350] poem for Dreamscapes"  **"Paid in full" 
philia story by Feb 28 "Invalid Item" 
dnp love poem by Feb 28 "i am behind the camera [358]" 
story by Feb 28th "story homeless language barrier " 
dnp chocolate by Feb 28 "Just loud enough for the Universe to hear [356]"  now **"Just loud enough forthe Universe to hear" 

There's a long list of other things but if I list them all I may get nothing done.

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