Chris' Christian Blog

December 28, 2021

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"Prompt: What have you learned in 2021 that will improve your relationship with God going forward?"

I 2021 I figured out that I cannot get rid of sin in my life until God is ready to deal with it. I think many of us have this delusion that becoming a Christian means we never sin again. Many preachers make it sound like that. However we all sin. I have sin in my life that haunts me every day and try as I might I simply do not have the strength to fight it. I have had sin in the past that was persistent. I prayed about it, repented of it, and went through all the "religious motions." The sin did not disappear until God took it away. So 2021 has taught me that I am totally dependent on God. I cannot overcome sin on my own and God may not be ready to remove it when I think it should be removed. He deals with it in His time and His time is not my time. I know many may find it shocking to believe that God would allow sin to continue. However God allows the world to continue and we know it is sinful. The good news is that in spite of my sin I am saved because I am covered by the blood. I know God will make me sinless in time. As long as I am in this flesh some element of sin will continue in me and God will continue to seemingly not care about it. God does care and He is slowlyworking me toward perfection. The sin I pray about and cannot overcome is in His hands and He will remove it when He is ready to do so.

Prompt: "Today, while getting settled in from my long furlough, I saw a star. Sarah Rae writes

STATIC

Motherhood  (ASR) A glimpse... perhaps not the one most people see. #1784881 by Sarah Rae

about the hard parts of parenthood. If you are a parent, what is it like for you? If you are not, what do you think it would be like?"

I was both mother and father to my son from the time he was 3 weeks old and on. He was not my biological son or at least I was not aware that he was. His mother lived with my wife and I because she had married my wife's cousin and then the marriage was annulled. She got pregnant prior to their marriage and had the baby while living with us. She had no idea what she was doing with him and she had post-partum depression. He was virtually neglected. My wife challenged me to take him on and take care of him and I reluctantly did so. The moment I held him the first time I fell in love with him. I went on to deal with colic that kept him up and me walking the floors with him at all hours of the night. I was a writer and otherwise unemployed and uncommitted so I found that it was best to sleep when he slept. I got to the point where I could fall into a deep sleep in seconds and awake at the slightest sound from him. Parenthood is the best thing that ever happened to me but it had moments where it was a living nightmare. I still would not change a second of it.

My son is grown now and I have found the old saying to be very true. "When they are little they walk on your toes. When they are adults they walk on your heart."

My son and I seldom talk these days. I have called him a few times and even provided him with a phone at my own expense so he could stay in touch. When we do talk he is always in a rush to get off the phone. I have gotten to the point where I no longer try. He'll call when he is ready and hopefully his dad will be able to respond. I got angry with him for this on Christmas Day and told him that I was not forced to be his dad to begin with. I guess he felt guilty because he messaged me the next day and tried to hold a conversation. I knew it was to appease a guilty conscience so I was cordial with him at best. When he is ready to have a sincere conversation he'll call,