Dissociated Thoughts

She's a Mess!

         It's been a while. Six days according to the "Update your blog" message I got today. The ole' noggin's been all over the place lately. Not an excuse, just fact. It was all I could do to make sure I got all my entries for "Invalid Item" 's Blame it on My Muse mini challenge - and even some of those were late. I guess my muses didn't wanna play along. As my youngest daughter used to say when she was little when she couldn't answer something, "Come back later, my brain is on vacation in Hawaii." Well, I doubt mine is vacationing in Hawaii. In a black hole more likely. My emotions (or lack thereof) lately could definitely attest to that. I have been so spacey! I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it, get lost on roads I've driven for years. And I've accidentally deleted pages of writing, losing it all and causing me to have to start all over again. Yeah, I'm a mess. And while my mind is all over the place, my emotions have been near non-existent. "Not a good sign" as my shrink told me Friday, right before he doubled my meds.
         Yesterday was my first day on the new dosage. The added chemicals didn't do anything for me being a mess though. Not yet anyway. I bet my coworkers would get me a space helmet for my birthday in a couple of weeks if they thought about it, since my head has been above the clouds so much recently. But yesterday was a doozy of a day! I forgot what I was doing and thinking mid-sentence as I was helping a customer. Luckily, the customer is a regular and knows I'm not always so scatterbrained. Maybe they thought I was getting sick; it seems to be a trend around town lately - and not a good one. But, hey! I live sick and all the drugs they have me on should help keep the weaker bugs at bay. Shouldn't they? Anyway, back to yesterday's disaster. I recovered from my blank out and the evening wore on. It was business as usual with a handful of space outs until we closed. I had gotten through it and after emptying the mop bucket (yeah, some of us have to do menial labor) I could clock out, set the alarm, and go home. Assuming I had made it through the night apparently proved to be my downfall. As I am dumping the dirty mop water into the drain, it slipped off the lip of the sink and dumped all over the floor of the back room and my shoes and pants from the knees down were soaked. UGH!! Then I had to spend however much longer it took for me to sop up all the spilled water from the floor in the back room. I'm sure the surveillance video caught me back there talking to and cussing at myself for the mess. I was back there for so long though that my coworker began to worry. She said she called for me but couldn't get me to respond - I didn't hear her. She was on her way to the back room when I came walking up to the front. I saw her sigh a huge sigh of relief. She said, "Thank God! I thought you'd had a seizure!" - Well, to be fair, usually when I get so spacey it is a sigh that a seizure is more likely to happen. It's sweet to know that she was worried. But the mess put us getting out of there almost thirty minutes later than normal.
My oldest, who worked at the same store before she moved a few hours away, said stuff like that happens to everybody there. So does stuff like things being knocked off the shelves when no one is there to have knocked them down. She insists that the store has some sort of spirits or shadow people there playing tricks on the employees. I don't know. But I have seen some strange things since I started working there - and the CCTV has caught some craziness too. I'd like to blame my night on some shadow people, but I'll shoulder the blame for my wacky night. It was just par for my course lately anyway.