The Bard's Hall Blog Entries June 2023

Reluctant Rescuer

         It was not a dark and stormy night. It was late evening though and the day's relentless searing sun had finally sizzled or is that fizzled on the horizon. Okay, I'll admit the darkness, night encroached.

         I sauntered into my kitchen and flicked a light switch to chase away the gloom. At the sink I refilled my water glass and glanced out the window. I had no expectations of spying anything, but wait a minute. Remnants of the ol' Christmas classic echoed behind my puzzled eyes.

         "And what to my wondering eyes did appear". Hey, I didn't see a miniature sleigh or flying reindeer. Something shadowy seemed to be waving its arms over its blurry blob of a head. Male? Female? Animal? I knew myself to be staring at the apartment balcony across the road.

          I muttered , "Not my business," and shrugged.

         Back in my armchair I returned to devouring my latest novel of interest before realizing I felt thirsty. Again I found myself staring out the kitchen window as I waited for a stream of refreshing cold water to splash into my glass. What the...? The waving shadow seemed to be thrashing about in some frantic version of jumping jacks. Water spilled as I startled.

         "Hey!" shouted a male voice. "Hello. Can you see me?"

         Me? Did that figure mean me?

                   I hollered, "Yes."

         "Oh good. I'm locked out of my apartment. I stepped out to barbecue and the door closed behind me. Could you come and ask one of my neighbour's for help?"

         He did mean me. He needed a rescuer and he appointed me.

         I answered, "Okay."

         

         I'm pretty certain my attire did not meet minimum rescuer code. Clad in a short nightie I'd showered an hour ago and had not anticipated vacating my own apartment. Not worrying much about appearance or even first impressions, but mindful of some degree of modesty I pulled on a pair of pyjama pants. Grabbing my keys and cellphone, perhaps I'd need to request additional support, strapping on a pair of sandals because I would not don socks in this summery weather for anyone, I hobbled down my flight of nineteen steps.

         As I crossed the dirt road in semi-darkness the voice espied my progress and began to thank me in advance for my efforts.

         "Thank you so much for doing this. My phone is inside. I owe you a coffee. Thank you, thank you."

         At the base of the stairs at his building I gritted my teeth and groaned. This was not my idea of a fun evening. My legs have never claimed to be fans of their nemesis, stairs. We secretly wished for an elevator, a lift or even an escalator to be waiting for us every time we returned home. I climbed without counting the steps. I didn't need to know and I did not own a fitness tracker anyway.

         Panting upstairs I knocked on a door. No answer. Alrighty then I rapped on the only other door presenting itself in the hallway and opposite the one leading to the trapped occupant. A young woman opened her door and had the good graces or manners not to slam it in my face. What must she have thought seeing me in my mismatched sleepwear and spinning a strange tale of a tenant requiring our help? She listened without interruption.

         "Oh geez," she exclaimed stepping out in the hallway.

          At this moment I remembered a tidbit he'd shared.

         "I think he may have mentioned something about this door, number two."

                   I hovered as a witness while she reached for the door knob and turned it. Hurray, this door was unlocked. Pushing it open she strode into this adjoining unit and soon wrenched the offending balcony door ajar. I waved and extended my farewells, but not before the saved young man with distinguishable, normal, unshadowy features expressed his gratitude yet again.

         Now all I had to do was descend one flight of stairs and ascend another. Not bad for a confirmed lifelong klutz just recently freed from a nine-week stint in a non weight-bearing cast.

          A few days after my successful rescue adventure I spotted my across-the-way-neighbour resplendent in a jacket with the lettering 'paramedic.' My nearest and dearest have availed themselves of paramedic services numerous times. Did I rescue a bonafide rescuer? He deserves the thanks. (726 words)