Meth: a Ticking Timebomb Gone Viral

The Biggest Smile

In 2018, while I was visiting Thailand, I was shopping (as you do) and found the coolest pair of shorts. I had to have them and was hardly out of them the entire time I was there...even wearing them on the trip home. In the five years since then, drugs have consumed my life. In fact, on the plane on my way back to Oz, I was already planning to score, and within a few hours of arriving back, I was high.

That particular binge went on for a long time, and somewhere along the way, I forgot all about self-care, self-respect and pretty much everything except purchasing and using drugs. As a result, at some point in that journey of self-destruction, the shorts I thought were so cool, no longer fit me.

For the last five years, I've kept those shorts in my drawers, hoping against hope that one day, I would be able to wear them again. I must admit, there have been times when I thought about taking them to Vinnies, so at least someone got to enjoy them, as I had for that short period of time all those years ago.

But, in the back of my mind, there remained a sniff of hope. I knew that as long as I was using meth, there would be no way I could lose the weight that had gradually built up around my midsection. There are people who use amphetamines and lose weight, but for me, the opposite is the case. It was a cycle of while I was high, I wouldn't eat for days. Then followed by gorging on high-calorie foods like chocolate and processed foods, which my body demanded after the (assumed) famine came to an end.

Five months ago, when I decided to give quitting meth another try, I got those shorts out and tried to put them on. My guess is, I was at least three to four inches off doing them up. This then became my mission, and every month or so since, I have gotten them out to check my progress. And each time I did, I could see the transformation and the inches shrinking away right before my eyes.

Then today, as I was getting ready to go to my psyche session, I happened to think about those shorts. By this stage, with the number of times I had tried and still couldn't fit into them, I had no expectations of actually being able to wear them. But when I pulled them up over my knees, the realisation that it was going to be close filled me with hope.

When I relayed the story to my counsellors and then showed them the shorts I hadn't been able to wear in five years, a real sense of accomplishment must have beamed from my face.

Later, I reflected on what would have been if I had made a different choice the day before. I wouldn't have bothered to try those shorts on and who knows when the next binge would have ended. All I know for sure is that I like the life I am living now. I have achieved one goal (getting back into my shorts), but there are so many more to come. The reality is that each and every day is a success, as long as I don't allow addiction to take over and once again rule my life.

Ash and Tamara didn't train with me today, but I didn't allow that to be an excuse for me not to get out there and work my ass off. And as I completed my ride after weights, for some reason, I had the biggest smile on my face...in fact, it's been there all afternoon.