Odd O'blography

Shaken Faithless

Reposted from Real Fake News:

Atheists Shaken by Trump Verdict
         by staff reporter Harry Teck

         “Some of you may be thinking that there is a God, after all," mused prominent skeptic Ida Noe. "This is just the sort of thing that can make weak-minded disbelievers lose their way. But I prefer to think that this verdict is merely the build-up to a triumphant victory at the Supreme Court. A quick appeal with a corrupt ruling from SCOTUS will prove once and for all that there is no God!"
          "I blame Satan," declared MAGA evangelist Franklin Graham. "You expect better value when you sell your soul. This verdict is an outrageous carriage of justice, and I think President Trump has a very good case for breach of contract. The outcome gives every televangelist cause for concern about their own deal. It's almost enough to make a religious man reject Satan and all his empty promises.”
          “What did you all expect,” laughed the Prince of Darkness. "The pathetic loser thought he could trade his worthless, piece of crap soul for an eternity as president. Real original, like I've never heard that dodge before. And the moron still thinks he's the only one who can lie, cheat, and steal. Like Donny T. always says, a contract is just the first step in breaking a promise!"