Journal

back biteing and server in training

so i haven't written in much in this journal lately have i? well lets see, new things in my life,
1. i got a job at this fancy foundo place, i really like it, i now fully realize what a hell hole taco bell, i think about those days and cringe.
2. i have made friends w/ more people, like katie, this has brought more drama into my life, so that's a mixed thing
3. right now i'm mad/hurt about/at kellie
4. i'm worried about my math and chem tests that i will be taking tommorow.
5. my hair smells like alex and stumps house it is completely gross (smoke!) ewwww

so, i'm upset, this new group of friends i have made is basically aaron's friends. i don't really know how this all happened. ok i will try to explain. kellie and aaron went out, she wanted desperately to be part of that group, she dumped him, she said she didn't feel anything, stuff like that. a couple weeks ago she started hanging out w/ him again, saying how they were just friends and stuff, now, i have this girl katie, in my math class, katie is pretty cool, we get along fine and everything, she has been friends with aaron for ever, (so she likes him, but i'll explain this more later) and i started making friends with her and her friends. i quickly found that they were all about drama. i hate drama. read some of my last years entries and you will soon find that out. they kind of act like everything is cool to your face, they hang out with you and as soon as you leave or something they will trash you. they pretend to be all friends. i really don't get it. anyway kellie desperately wants to be part of this group. i don't really care. some of them are cool but some of them are just two faced liars, i am starting to think that monica wants to be more "in" with them and everything. she keeps telling people that i am her only true friend because i don't go behind people's back, or pretend to be someone's friend when i am really not. i don't know really how i feel about this. there has always been this thing between monica and i, she seems to consider me a much better friend than what i consider her. i don't know. any way....... lately kellie has been doing the whole kind of backstabbing thing, she goes and plots people against me, she tells them that i am mean and stupid. i told dee and monica this and they laughed, they said i did get mad and stuff but i always cool off and i don't hide it or bottle it up and i am honest. i really try to be. i don't want to be telling everyone on the net about my bad friendships, i just need to type it out and look it all over. i know i need to talk to her and i fully intend on doing it. i am just scared that she will deny it all and there will be drama with her that mirrors all the drama i hate. i don't know. i talked to dee and she said that if kellie wasn't my friend no one would notice her. it sounds mean but it is true, i had her in like 3 classes last year, i knew just about everyone's name but i thought her name was anna, when we hang out with other people (like the crowd she wants to be a part of) she never says a word, just sits there. i don't know. i don't want to abandon this friendship but i just don't know what to do, she is being compeltely heinious.
ugh. i hate this. i have to go study.
btw, alex likes me. apperently that is one of the things that monica remembers from going over there and getting drunk with a bunch of those people. alex is about 280 lbs, smoker who is a a bouncer at a local bar. ok, he said he's liked me for the past year, i have only met him like twice and i didnt really talk to him. i hope he doesn't try to go out with me again. i don't want to be another girl on his check list. this guy is a lover of challenges. and very proud of his, um, assets. ok so i'm just done with this entry