Just Jul Lee

It Doesn't Get Much Better?

It Doesn't Get Much Better?
DATE: April 27, 2005

Okay, so, all day long I sat at my desk working and struggling with emotions of a very wide range. I must say that this morning I had a very good title for today's blog but that was soon lost in the fog of time and thoughts and so, this is what you get.

It doesn't get much better was originally a statement but changed into a question. Why, you may ask (or not)?

Well, it's secretary day, or admistrative assistant day, or whatever and I happen to be a confidential secretary. Yesterday, or the day before but I'm pretty sure it was yesterday. Never mind.

Okay, my last entry was about how my boss always returns from a trip angry at me, not nice, and then, eventually, gets over it and treats me nice again. Emotional rollercoaster and whatnot.

Everyone got african violets (I think that's what they are) today from our two bosses. Two things that spawned and continue to create turmoil:

1). Everyone had theirs handed to them by our boss or placed where they could easily be seen. I was the exception. Mine wasn't handed to me and it was placed in a spot where I didn't see it until I was aware that others had received something and I looked for it.

2). All the other little plants have at least ten blooms on them but mine? Two. And one is dying.

Okay, so I sound like I'm whining and that's because I am. I love my little plant and it's two little blooms. I just notice that mine looks a little 'pathetic' compared to everyone, yes EVERYONE, else's.

I prayed for the plant to bloom like crazy (I hope it does) but I feel so bad for the little plant that I want to love it regardless of the feelings within me.

So, I don't want to be here, I want them to make me upset so I can quit (go figure) and I'm unhappy.

God has been helping me today, though. He's been showing me that my joy comes from Him, not from my co-workers or my circumstances. He's helping me realize that everything will be fine if I look to Him instead of at the other plants on every desk.

So, I flipped the card around and wrote, "Smile! God loves you very much! Find and establish your joy in Jesus!" with smiley faces and everything (but this didn't happen until three in the afternoon) and I'm trying not to feel sorry for little old me.

The good news? It's Wednesday and therefore, there is church tonight. That makes me very happy!

I also completed one more VC Andrews collection and just have three more to complete (one with just ONE MORE BOOK!) and then I'll have the whole collection of her writings currently available.

So, I'm happy now, but I just wanted to blog you all with my current circumstances at work.

Thank You, God, for this job, even as it tests me.

Thank you all for reading my blog.