Straight No Chaser

Gutteral Moans

the last set got a little dry, so i'm going to focus these next twenty on romance and sexuality:

41. before marcus, i was tragically inexperienced. i'd had a couple of scattered suitors over the years, but nothing serious or lasting, and i was still really prudish about certain things. he fixed that pretty fast, and i mean that in the nicest way possible.

42. more than anything, i believe in loyalty. this can be very crippling, because not everyone values it the way i do.

43. my hips are definitely my single best physical feature. they're pretty unlikely on someone my size, and while they terrified me at first, i've come to really appreciate them and the purpose they'll someday serve. marcus loves them.

44. i tend to be most attracted to dark, expressive eyes, well-shaped lips and nice stomachs.

45. more than that, though, i'm attracted to maturity and high intelligence. i'd like to think i wouldn't date anyone who couldn't beat me at chess, but that might make for weird intellectual power struggles down the line, so instead i'll say i wouldn't date anyone with whom i couldn't hold hours of stimulating conversation.

46. my toes curl.

47. i'll try anything once for somebody i love. (i seem to remember mentioning that in an earlier entry.) and for somebody i really love, i'll do the same again and again. within reason, of course.

48. barring religious or cultural reasons, i don't believe ANYONE is exempt from the courtesy of smelling good. there's nothing sexier than that clean just-out-of-the-shower smell (which, using the right soap and deodorant, it's possible to hold onto all day), and nothing more repulsive than the indifferent opposite.

49. i second-guess myself on this virginity thing pretty often. there are days when it feels impossible to keep it up, and days when i can't remember why i ever wanted to. fortunately, those days don't overlap too often, and when they do, marcus tends to be in shreveport.

50. i like to be held and i love to kiss.

51. i'm not the dating type, but when it happens, i'm very low-maintenance about it. basically, all i need is closeness and a reasonable amount of attention; the rest is just bells and whistles.

52. i worry about rape a lot.

53. i do wish i had bigger breasts, but i'd never get them worked on. for one thing, imagine the pain; for another, that they're the size that they are means i can't hide behind them. marcus claims he likes them this way. he says they let him get closer to my heart.

54. i'd never cheat in a relationship. never. i guess no one ever enters a relationship with the intention of cheating, or even begins cheating with the intention of cheating, but i'm relatively sure about this. i have neither the desire nor the confidence, and even if i ever worked up both, i'd respect my partner too much to act on them.

55. sometimes i can't think about marcus while trying to fall asleep, or the sleep never happens. other times thoughts of him are the softest pillow there is.

56. in all types of relationships, i am a giver. nothing feels as good as putting a genuine smile on someone's face. material gifts are a distant second to emotional ones, but either type, when selected and presented the right way, can wield tremendous power.

57. i know how to give marcus the shudders, the chills and that inexplicable stomach-dropping sensation, and can predict which each of my actions will yield with ever-growing accuracy.

58. i really like the sound of my first name, in most if not all contexts.

59. nothing sexual is ever as good without love. i might be an ordinary post-pubescent hornball, but i'd like to think i still know what's really important in a relationship. a direct quote from an earlier entry: "i'd trade every square inch of marcus's body to hold onto a single drop of his soul." you don't have to believe me. it's true.

60. this entry is named after something you'll never hear coming from me. i'm the quiet type.