Zee Blog

God damn the Gorillaz

I wanted to have a relatively somber blog post, but then I put on the Gorillaz "19/2000" and that went out the fucking window. Something about this song makes me happy beyond words. 2-D and Noodle are my favorites.

I went to my cousin Michelle's wedding today. That was literally the whole day. It was a two hour drive there, six hour ceremony/reception, and then two hours back.

Just so you guys know I'm not fond of any of these social events: weddings, graduations, and funerals. I don't like them. I don't require people to come to mine either, and because of this I hate when people require me to. That, or when they do the passive, "Oh, you don't have to come" while at the same time thinking, "If you don't fucking come I will come to your god damn house, kill your dog, and dance naked with its splayed carcass over my body as I watch your house burn."

I think one of the reason's I'm like this is simply because I was born on the 21st of December. Any kid who has a birthday that close to, or on, a monumental holiday will most likely divulge that there are two very negative components to it:

1.) You get shit for presents if you are around Christmas. People stiff you with the, "Look, it's your birthday AND Christmas present!" and then present you with a 5 dollar book. See if you can pull that shit on them.

2.) No one is around to come to your birthday party. Since I was so close to Christmas, most families were already going to their holiday destination, or had family, or something going on that kept them from ever coming. Either that or I'm a fucking loser. I can't accept the second option because the twine that holds my sanity dangling might actually snap.

Let's also discuss what it's like to be the only person going to the wedding that doesn't have a date for the fucking thing, excluding the ten year olds.

The past few family weddings have led to a rather dark and twisted tradition, and that is the bet. A mystic ritual to which all of the male cousins of the family move into a shadowed hallway and take stabs at the calendar, making a tormented game out of the future of our loved ones. With my cousin Brian and his first wife I actually won the bet: 2 weeks. It was unfair, actually. The bride had slept with 3 out of the 4 men standing for the wedding. This was after the proposal, but Brian wouldn't listen.

This wedding, however, found no betting. I know this doesn't guarantee that they'll make it to the airport for their honeymoon without divorcing, but they actually seemed happy and pleased with one another. It wasn't that happy, "Look! We got married!" bullshit you normally see.

It was hard to explain, but I might call it the closest to love my family has ever touched on. Hell, the way they were it makes me rethink if I know two cents about the emotion.

Anyways, it's 4:39, and Jesus would not be pleased.

I shall leave you with the lyrics of the song that brings me great joy. Download it, or buy the album, if you can. It won't disappoint.

GORILLAZ - 19-2000 Lyrics

The world is spinning too fast
I'm buying lead Nike shoes
To keep myself tethered
To the days I try to lose

My mama said to slow down
You should make your shoes
Stop dancing to the music
Of Gorillaz in a happy mood

Keep a mild groove on

Ba ba ba
Day dee bop

There you go!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!

There's a monkey in the jungle
Watching a vapour trail
Caught up in the conflict
Between his brain and his tail

And if time's elimination
Then we got nothing to lose
Please repeat the message
It's the music that we choose

Keep a mild groove on

Ba ba ba
Day dee bop

OK bring it down yeah we gonna break out
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!
Get the cool!
Get the cool shoeshine!

Ah Ah Ah Ah

Day doo de bop