Marv's Mind

A bit puzzled

Yes, I know I promised to tell you about the hair on my elbow areas but I'm so discombobulated over these damn finger nails. They're great in a lot of ways. They're sexy for the love makin', there poetic when I sign and they sound great when I tap them on things.

BUT...

The maintenance sucks! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. All ten of these bastards grow differently. Some are deformed while others grow faster. They're weak and require painting and shit.

I promise you...I've bitten my nails for at least 28 years. Yep, 28 years. No bull shit! That's a long fucking time to do anything.

Last week I went to my mom's house so she could teach me how to file these nails. I tried myself but it turned out to be a disaster. I asked her why she never taught me these things as a child. I felt deprived of the good things in life! My mom's reply was just a little laugh. I love that woman!

I'm working hard on these nails tonight and my shoulders are stinging from being so tense and focused. I've strained my being trying to muster up my last few living particles of girly fashion sense and figure out this nail thing. It's a nightmare of sorts and I'm hoping it will get easier one day.

-Marv-

P.S. People who have nails must not get zits. I don't see people walking around with small scabs on their faces. I had a zit and tried popping it. My nails mutilated the skin and made an abrasion.

What's it all worth.

P.S.S. Please don't email me and tell me "just go have your nails done at a salon. Blah Blah Blah." The salon is not in the budget.