Romance Project

Pado and Mjolnir

**This was a dare and features man&object love



"Oh...how shiny you are in the light of the glorious, glorious Sun!" Pado whispered admiringly to
a very delicately yet boldly shaped hammer on the ground next to him in his arms. Pado ran a
gentle finger down the very fine and slender handle of it, sighing with love apparent on his
face.

As the Sun rose higher, peeking through the green, fresh leaves of the tree above them, the
hammer seemed to take on a sparkling glow, as if enjoying the attention. Smiling with pure joy,
Pado traced the hammer's lightening decoration with a quivering finger. It was so perfect...
So perfect and beautiful...

"I'd never ever let you leave my side, Mjolnir...My heart would break without you
to comfort it..." Pado cooed again, and giggled boyishly. "What's that? My bunny ears tickle you?"
He took one of his bunny ears and gently wiggled it on the gleaming handle of the Mjolnir. "What?
That tickles? Hehe, take that!" Perhaps minutes..surely not more than a few have passed. Pado
sighed in satisfaction and happiness. The Mjolnir sparkled here and there, and Pado felt it
grow a little warmer. "Aww..Blushing?" He smiled, "you make my life so complete, I love you,
I love you, I LOVE-"

"Who's there?" A voice rang out and echoed in the wood filled forest. "Dagnammit Frank, I KNOW I
heard a man's voice here!"

"What's a man doing out here, Pete?" A second voice boomed out, not far off from where Pado
and the Mjolnir lay hidden behind a giant oak tree.

"Probably up to no good, Frank." Pete grunted. "Hey, HEY PETE! Lookie here, foot prints!"

Pado's eyes widened in horror as he looked at his socked feet. Sure enough, dried mud spotted
the socks. He looked to the Mjolnir, not knowing what to do.

"Well I'll be damned, Pete...You're right!" Frank muttered in wonder as he slowly started
following the footsteps with Pete.

Hearing them get closer, Pado thought his heart would burst from anticipation. He held the
Mjolnir tightly to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. Whether he ran or stayed, they would
find him. His only hope was that this moment, holding his love so close to his heart, would
never end.

Pete and Frank were on the other side of the oak tree.

"Just a little more Frank..Just a little-"

"MY GOLLY, IT'S HIM!" Pete cried out as he pulled out a lance and pointed it at Pado.

"You're under arrest for trying to run off with our gracious god Thor's wife!" Frank yelled
and pointed his lance at Pado as well, not knowing what to expect. Oh he heard so many dangerous
stories of this Pado...how he could take out a hundred men in one swipe... "Step away from
the Mjolnir!" Frank yelled even louder than before to try and mask his fright. His legs were
shaking slightly.

"You got him?!" More voices and running footsteps rang out towards them. Back up guards.

"We've got you outnumbered, back away from the Mjolnir." Pete ordered, calmly. His dad said
even if you got dragged into a lion's den, if you kept your cool you would be able to survive...
Pado was known to be an experienced killer...God, he didn't want to die, not now, not here...Not
with Susie waiting for him at home...

"Oh...my love..." Pado whispered to the Mjolnir, "I'll come back for you tonight...I promise..."

"What the hell is he doi-" Frank muttered when suddenly, Pado sprinted away, the Mjolnir gleaming
sadly on the grass-matted tree.

"Good work, men." With that the Mjolnir was brought back to Thor before the Sun hit the noon.


"My love, I'm coming for you...My heart would weep and weep until it poured out seas if I am not
by your side..." Pado whispered, climbing a thick rope up to a balcony. He took a deep breath
once he stood firmly on the balcony, his heart thumping wildly.

White curtains framed the balcony door and fluttered against the night's gentle breeze. Thankful
of his socks muting his footsteps, Pado slipped into the room.
There he saw her, on the majestic bed, his love and his only love, the Mjolnir.
"Mjolnir-" He whispered, taking a step towards the bed.

That's when the lights flickered on without warning.

"How dare you come for my woman!" A massive, barrel-chested Thor stood in the door way, glowering
at Pado. He pointed a gigantic hammer like axe towards him in threat, god-like clouds that
floated around him turning red in hot anger.

"She loves me more than she ever will you!" Pado shouted back defiantly. Poor Pado...Standing up
to a god...He didn't know what drove him so, but he knew he would pay hell for it if he did not
survive. But still..he would do anything, ANYTHING to be able to love his Mjolnir freely.
Even, fight a god.

"Insolent mortal, how dare you reply so to a god?" Thor plunged forward with his weapon, and Pado
leaped forward as well. Sparks and screeches of clashing weapons flew everywhere, death threats
and clever put-downs stung both in everyway.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfggh!" Pado roared as he threw off Thor and thrusted him to the ground. Thor
passed out and Pado stood, looking down on him. He panted heavily before grinning victoriously.

He walked to the Mjolnir, his right hand on his left rib to try and stop a piercingly painful
wound. He felt the congratulating warmth of the Mjolnir and thought his heart had never soared
the way it did now.

Pado and the love of his life, Mjolnir ran away that night as the Sun started to peek out into
the world again. No one has ever heard from them since but many a storyteller speak of
they're love as-a never ending fairy tale.