Black Eyes, Blue Heart

Bastard

Here I am, bastard again,
lost in a world of covetous sin,
contained by the demise of values within,
I contend I am no match for the fury that dwells
within the pits of my being
so hungry that I crave maggots in the mind of the righteous
feast on their conscience so sight or morality
is lost in an introspective fallacy of contingency.
Within the night I lose sight of myself
my heart on a shelf
too high to steal away to Jesus so I'm left
cold and alone to fight my own battle
one man army fighting the hordes that seems to find joy
in the demise of my soul
nevermore will I be whole
just a shell of a man
whose thoughts leave him stigmatized in hand
and looking to the hills for salvation to appear.
seen the promiseland,
yet know I won't get there with the rest of them
I've always tried to better even the best of them
but seemed to be put to trial and judged by the rest of them
they want me dead like John the Baptist
Nubian Princesses are calling for my head
it's not enough that my eyes seen so much hurt, they've bled
a thousand times blood clearer than the water Christ turned to wine
I see the sign my time is steadily coming to an end
and I will be standing there in judgement listening to my sins
and thank bastard for his curse
and hope my bastard does not receive
because bastardy is hereditary
and so is the world in which they are conceived