Blog On

Mother's Day Daisies

For the past few years, I've been getting my Mom a big plant of some sort to pot and put on her front porch. This year I found a hanging basket of Gerber Daisies. I realized after I got them that she really prefers the plain old regular white daisies with yellow centers, but she was appreciative of what she received.

When I was about ten, I got her eithe a Mother's Day or birthday present, using her often quoted words: "When you buy a present for someone else, and you don't know what they want, get something that you would enjoy yourself".

That particular year, I did. She doesn't have to try very hard to remind me that I fouled her rule. I bought her a 45 rpm record by my favorite group at the time, Herman's Hermits. She was pleasant about it, but let me know that I hadn't quite grasped the point.

While cruising around doing a few errands today, a woman really vented her hostility on the radio.

"I hate Mother's Day," she let lose with more than a modicum of passion. In other words, you could tell she really hated Mother's Day. One would think she must be some kind of horrible unusual person, to have such sentiments, but I not only understand, I pretty much agree with her.

There are a certain percentage of women who are not mothers, and will never be mothers. I, like the woman on the radio, am not a mother--and most likely will never be. I am a pet mommy, but it's not the same--as any human mother will tell you. Dogs don't go on car dates, and cats often stay out all night.

I had two aunts when I was growing up who didn't have children. One was an old maiden aunt, who never married. She spent her later years doing oodles and gobs of babysitting. I guess, in the long run, she received some motherly karma from her babysitting, watching little kids grow up.

My other aunt, on the other side of the family, was married, but she and my Uncle never had any kids. They almost always had a dog, so I had someone to play with when I went to visit as a child. Adults without children are a difficult thing for young people to understand. I never found out if they didn't have kids by choice, or if there was a medical issue. It became a medical issue with me. Maybe it runs in the family.

When I got older, and the universality of the true meaning of Mother's Day began to sink in, I used to send both of my childless aunts Mother's Day cards. They've both passed on now, and I carry the tradition of having no children. It wasn't a course I would have chosen for myself. I've shed a bucket of tears over being childless. Why does one spend years playing with dolls if one is not to be a mother? Could I have added another play-learning activity to achieve some increased production in another area of my life? It's cultural, getting married, being a mommy, and living happily ever after, but it doesn't feel like a positive thing when a women who doesn't end up having kids.

So Mother's Day for 2006 has come and gone. My kitty that passed away used to get me a present for Mother's Day. I went on a little e-Bay shopping spree a couple of days ago, so I guess I can say those items will be my Mother's Day presents for this year, from my two dogs and remaining kitty. I'm getting an outdoor swing (to hang in a tree), a tiffany lamp, and a tall vintage lamp. It's been dark in the house, and I have several lamps in the garage that aren't working, except as dust collectors. It would be smart if I could learn to restring light fixtures, but I don't know if I trust me to work with electicity. An electocuted person is a dead person.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. And also happy day to those who aren't mothers. Maybe we could ban together, and request a national holiday for celebrating women who aren't mothers. Okay. It's a radical idea--but it's those of us who don't procreate keep the surplus population down. So here's a toast for those who haven't been with child: "Be of good health in body and mind, and watch out for the children of others. They need your guidance too!"