A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Mayfly Countdown

In order for this journal entry to work, you'll have to pretend to be interested and I'll pretend to care. Deal?

Seeing the trees change colour at this time of year always makes me a tad sad. They're very spectacular and all, but their postcard worthy appearance signals an end to summer. Fall and winter have their own charms but I'm not ready to let go of summer yet. Don't worry, I don't blame you for the darker, colder days ahead. I'm also to blame. Perhaps if I had embraced summer more enthusiastically she wouldn't have left. It's easy to feel those hot sunny days will last forever when it's always hot and sunny. I took her for granted. I really must start making every day count more. It's easy to feel I have all the time in the world when I've always been given all the time in the world. I expected to be alive today and I am. I expect to be alive tomorrow and just take that for granted. I shouldn't take living for granted. Apparently the average Canadian male has a life expectancy of 77.2 years. Fortunately I'm not average so that should be good for another extra .2 years. I also don't smoke or drink which should add on another .4 years, which now brings my life expectancy up to 90.7 years. (I never was much good at math) I also like to go to the gym, pat my cat Cricket and not laugh at the homeless. That's gotta be worth another .2 years each, giving me a new total of 94.1 years.

Still with me? Remember our deal...

If I wear clean underwear more often, surely that would be good for another .8 years. That should bring my life expectancy up to 99.3. I think it would really suck to get to be 99.3 years old and not reach 100. There must be something else I can do to buy me a little more time? I know...I won't eat floor wax or stick my tongue in any electrical outlets. I don't do that now but surely that's gotta count for something right? Surely two 99.3 year old Canadian males won't live exactly as long if one eats floor wax and sticks his tongue into electrical outlets and the other doesn't. That's only common sense right? And if I agree to never swear at lions, drive blindfolded and always eat with my mouth closed, that's gotta 100% guarantee I live until I'm 100. Ha! Take that Mayflies. Imagine being a Mayfly and only living for one day. That's gotta suck. And imagine if you're a Mayfly who only lives for one day and that day...your big day...you're having a bad hair day. Being a Mayfly must really suck huh? Then again they can fly. That must be pretty cool. Of course we can fly too but it's not quite the same. We can't suddenly jump up and start flying around, soaring over rooftops and weaving in and out of trees. We have to wait in line at airports and undergo security checks before we can fly. I'll bet billions of Mayflies are smirking and shouting out "Ha! It must suck being a Canadian human male." at me right now...that is if they could shout...which they can't. Who's laughing now Mayflies?

Make the most of your day. There's no guarantee you'll get any more.



Thumb

(Remember, don't eat floor wax. No matter how tempting. I should have made that part of our deal)






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