The Snowflake Chronicles

The stupidest thing I’ve ever done.

7 Masa’il 163 B.E. – December 18, 2006

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I would like to tell about the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m not sure I’m through doing stupid things. My best hope is that I learn something from each stupid thing I’ve did in the past or will do in the future. Right of the top of my head, I can think of at least three stupid thing that could very will have gotten me killed or at the very least maimed. Actually, one of them did leave a scare.

Let me start with my earliest memory, which I think I’ve mentioned before in this journal. The shutting myself in the refrigerator during a game of hide-and-seek incident. My grandfather found me and took me out of the refrigerator, he never did tell my mother or my father about that. However, I did win the game of hide-and-seek, by that I mean none of the other kids playing found me.

Next, not necessarily in chronological order, the playing Jane incident. This one left the scare on my right ring finger. I was swing (on a swing of course) and saw a wire with a sharp end hanging from the cloths line. I let go of the swing, grabbed the wire and I cut myself fairly badly.

Then there was the putting the necklace on the Siamese cat incident. The cat refused to ware the necklace and made his wishes known by scratching me. I no long attempt to dress cats in anything anymore. I believe I mentioned this one before as well.

This brings up the chasing the chicken around the chicken pen incident. I stepped on a rusty nail and had to drive myself to the hospital to get a shot and have my foot bandaged.

I also attempted to bake a three-layer cake and burned two layers. Didn’t burn the house down though. I decided to hide the evidence so I put the two layers I burned in the bottom of the deep freeze until spring and then thawed them out and fed them to my grandmother’s chickens.

I made a cake once and instead of using frosting, opened a box of cake mix, which I thought was frosting mix and put it on top of the cake as frosting. What I learned from that incident was simple. When baking make sure you have your glasses on and read the information on the box.

I tried to make drop dumplings once and ended up with a great (actually a gigantic) pot of gravy.

I’ve locked my keys in my car with the dome light on and had to pay a locksmith to open the car door.

I’ve locked my keys in my trunk and had to pay someone to take the back seat out and get into the trunk to get the keys. Please note, if you ever do this the back seat never gets back in properly.

I lost a dishrag once and three or four days later, my grandmother found it in the freezer. What I learned from this incident is when you go to wash dishes get what you want to drink before you start the job.

What have I learned from all these incidents? The Stupidest Thing I’ve Ever Done is all relative to when you do it and who knows about it.

Oh, yeah, I haven’t mentioned the prune juice incident have I. I was working in a launder mat on the swing shift. I took my lunch or dinner (whatever you want to call it) and all the individual juice cans in the refrigerator. There were twenty cans, fifteen of which were prune juice. I drink all the cans over the shift. Locked up and went home. The next day I had to call in sick to my other job, because the prune juice worked very well and I couldn’t leave the bathroom.