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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/487825-Ice-ice-baby
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#487825 added February 13, 2007 at 4:13pm
Restrictions: None
Ice, ice, baby
According to the weatherweasels, it's supposed to ice tonight.

These same weatherweasels keep predicting frozen stupid that never materializes. Like last night. I fully expected to wake up this morning and find Charlottesville glazed like the Krispy Kremes that we no longer have because they were victims of the low-carb fad.

Actually, we lost two donut places because of the low-carb fad. One of them even had cop cars perpetually outside of it. I know they didn't go out of business from being robbed. Fortunately, we still have Spudnuts. I'm not sure I can do justice to the Spudnuts concept - let's just say that once you eat a Spudnut, there's not much that ordinary donuts can do for you. Like our other local purveyor of toroidal carbohydrate modules, Bodo's. Bodo's does bagels and - don't tell this to anyone from New York - they're better than any bagel I've ever gotten in New York, and I've had a lot of New York bagels.

Bodo's doesn't sell bialys though. Or knishes. So I suppose I still have reason to go to New York.

But not tonight. Tonight I might not even have internet access if it freezes like it's supposed to. Every time it freezes around here, trees fall on power lines. One time a hurricane remnant (Isabel) blew through here. It was a September, and it took the better part of a week for them to restore power (we were, fortuitously, in Myrtle Beach at the time). Imagine how long it will take when the utility trucks have to traverse roads that are slicker than a snot-covered car salesman.

We have those in Charlottesville, too.

So worst case scenario: Tonight we will lose power, and tomorrow - Singles Awareness Day - we will be unable to go anywhere.

Better stock up on chocolates and Duraflames on the way home...

© Copyright 2007 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/487825-Ice-ice-baby