Diary of a Middle-aged Woman

03/16/07 - Conversations with My Family

My family likes to talk on the phone. They call each other all day and chat about anything and everything. This got me to thinking about the different conversations I have had with several of them. They all have different phone-conversation styles.

MY SISTER:
Yesterday, I got a call from my sister, who is "a decade" younger than me, as she likes to say. Since she became a mother, almost five years ago, our phone conversations are never boring. Not because we talk about great topics, but because it is always a mystery whether or not we will be able to finish it.

From my end I hear, "Vick I was calling to see what you're . . .Alisha will you get down from there? What are you doing this. . .Ashley give your sister that book." She hasn't been able to finish a sentence or complete a thought since having children.

MY MOTHER:
I'll walk in the door after work and my husband will tell me that my mother called and left a message on the answering machine. "Vick when you get this message, give me a call. I have something to tell you." Her voice always sounds urgent, so I quickly call her back. Nine times out of ten she is calling to tell me that she would like to buy me meat. Yes, meat. For example, my anniversary is in a week and my mother would like to buy us steaks. She equates the purchase of meat with love.

MY BROTHER BILL:
Whenever Bill calls it is a guaranteed "yawn" of a conversation. He always tells me about things that I have no clue. Even though I tell him I have no idea what he is talking about he continues to talk. One example is how Bill is an avid "Star Trek: Next Generation" fan. He has every video, VHS and DVD, of the complete series. He will call me about the latest video that he watched and asked, "Do you remember seeing that one?" I, once again, remind him that I do not watch "Next Generation" - fans refer to it this way. He will proceed to tell me about the entire episode, who was in it, who was funny in it, and what he liked and disliked about it. Meanwhile, my husband and daughter are laughing because they only hear me saying, "Bill, I don't watch "Next Generation". That means nothing to me," over and over again.

MY BROTHER BOB:
I rarely get a phone call from Bob. He is an emailer. On those occasions when he does call me, I can sit for hours talking to him. We always end-up talking about Mom, or how Bill tried to talk his ear off with his Star Trek conversations. Apparently, Bill tries to have the same conversations with Bob that he does with me. This never goes too far, as Bob tells him, "I don't care about 'Star Trek', and that somehow ends the conversation. I have tried this with Bill but it doesn't work. I wonder what I am doing wrong? Anyway, conversations with Bob are hilarious.

Occasionally, I get calls on my cell phone from my family members while I'm at work Each conversation begins with the words, "What are you doing?" Do they really want to know that I am working on a home equity loan, or opening an account for a customer? No. The answer they are looking for is, "nothing".

If, during the course of a conversation, I have to end the call for whatever reason, I always hear, "Oh really. I'm not even done talking to you." This is usually from my Mom. Bill, on the other hand, says, "Okay, I'll call you at home tonight and talk to you then." Great. Something to look forward to while relaxing at home.