Crazy Life 'o mine

September 28 2007

Oh my God!!!!!

Have you ever just wanted to curl up into a tight ball and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist?

That's where I'm at today. Remember I mentioned the friend who had a ghost that she wanted gone? Well I'm beginning to suspect she was hallucinating.

Oh, sure, go ahead and laugh. I feel like it. I mean any other sane person would have just told her that they don't believe.

But, NOOOO. I'm not like that (real heavy on the sarcasm here). I believe in the other worldly stuff. I'm not just fascinated, but I experienced too much in my life to discount it. Anyway, I spent enough time at her house yesterday to know that if her house was haunted, the ghost left a long time ago just to get some peace and quiet. Let's call her Lydia.

Lydia volenteered to create 20 flags for the marching band. The project is due tonight. She had everything she needed to know about the flags, three weeks ago. She had all the supplies last week.

I know how to sew. I know how to press seams. I know how to follow patterns. Being a product of a small midwest town, you tend to pick up on all those "houdewifey" things. I think it's a pre-requiste here for all young girls to learn those type of things. I can hear my mom saying "Cooking, sewing, cleaning, and laundry, if you know how to do those things, then you'll never have to take out your own garbage or mow your own lawn." So, when she asked for my help, I assumed there was only a bit more to go, I said sure.

Her house was a disaster. There were three sewing machines up. A huge table in the living room was covered with the cut pieces of fabric. An ironing board was wedged into a corner. Paper bags were full of scraps. Thread, pin cushions, and other sewing notions were scattered on every available free surface.

Lydia didn't have anything done, except for cutting out the shapes to create the flags. She was using a polyester silk blend...those who understand fabric will cry with me. She was going to roll seams to be pressed, use tissue paper to give the fabric support while she sewed, and in doing so, this time consuming project...20 flags, (44" x 53"), made out of seven pieces, would be done lickity split. It took one hour to pin together the pattern. When she sewed it together...well I've seen dirty mops with more pizzaz.

It took her 4 hours (two sewn flags later) to realize it was impossible. Don't get me wrong, I tried to tell her it wasn't going to work the way she hoped. But she called up a flag company, and they told her the fabric wasn't going to work unless she was sewing it onto a backing.

Her husband came home for lunch. She was angry at him because he paid bills. She was angry at him because she needed him to help with project and he couldn't. Then in the same breath she say's she loves him, but "Lord knows why." Later she confides that she doesn't understand why he doesn't want to come home. Hmmm...I wonder why.

Needless to say I'm not helping her today.