Someone to Love Me.

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine







All of yesterday’s traumas had left Catherine exhausted and she’d fallen asleep the minute her head hit the pillow but this morning from the minute she opened her eyes all the anxieties came back to gnaw at her mind.  In addition there were so many things she needed to do before she could put her home back into some kind of order that she wasn’t sure just where to start. 
         All the time and care she’d lavished on her apartment had been ruined and all the things that she’d lovingly collected over the years were now lying shattered among the debris.
         She would spend the day assessing all the damage and prioritising what needed to be done.  She was insured but it would probably only cover the basics, you couldn’t replace all the time and love that she’d invested in her home.
         As Catherine pushed herself up in the bed her head and face began to throb and she realised realise how lucky she really was.  Things could have been a lot worse, especially if James had found her in her home - alone.  She shuddered at the thought. There was no telling what the outcome would have been. 
         At least out on the street there were passers-by who had come to her assistance.  She hoped that the police had caught up with him or her life was going be hard if she had to continually look over her shoulder.  In all honesty Catherine was terrified at the thought of meeting up with James again.  Their last meeting was one that she didn’t want to repeat and her body trembled as she remembered it.
         Making her way to the small bathroom she quickly showered and dressed and then, thinking more of the baby that she carried than of herself, Catherine made her way down to the hotel dining room for some breakfast.  Not really hungry she managed to eat some cereal and then swallowed down some scrambled egg.  A cup of decaffeinated coffee was no substitute for the real thing but for the next six months it would have to do. 
         By ten o’clock she was back in her room dialling the number that the constable had given her yesterday when he dropped her off at the hotel.  She wanted to make a start on the clean up as soon as the police had finished their investigation. Hopefully the sooner she got started the sooner she would be done. 
         Unfortunately it was going to take them longer than they had expected to complete their work and apparently, there was nothing that Catherine could do about it except wait.  They hadn’t been able to contact James either; he’d disappeared, which as far as Catherine was concerned meant only one thing. Guilty! 
         Warning her to be careful, the officer promised to call and let her know the minute the detectives had finished at her home.  Thanking him Catherine replaced the handset.  With nothing to do for the moment and never one to be idle she began to tidy her things.
         Noticing that she’d brought yesterday’s purchases to the hotel with her along with her overnight bag she turned them out onto the bed and began to sort through them.  She smiled as she looked at the baby clothes that she’d bought. 
         Picking them up one by one Catherine was finding it hard to imagine her baby wearing them, they were so tiny.  She laid them back on the bed and picked up the mobile.  It was going to need repairing because James had damaged it when he’d dragged it from its box and thrown it onto the pavement.  Hopefully she could mend it, if not she would have to buy another one.
         Taking the teddy bear from its bag she sat on the edge of the bed and hugged it close as she rocked backwards and forwards.  Her mind flew over the events of the last forty-eight hours in an attempt to make some sense out of all that had happened to her but try as she might she couldn’t and the tears that never seemed to be far away lately, began to build behind her eyes.  Catherine held them in check; she was going to have to be strong if she wanted to come through this in one piece and with her sanity still in tact.
         How on earth had she come to this pretty pass?
         In four short months she had gone from having a successful career as Clive’s PA along with a home that she loved and a quiet life that suited her, to sitting in a lonely hotel room with no job. Her home was a wreck, she had a face that looked like she’d gone ten rounds with a heavyweight boxer, she was three months pregnant by a man who wore cowboy boots and who, to top it all, ‘didn’t do commitment’.  Well, wasn’t life a bitch!
         A knock on the door brought her out of her reverie and thinking that it must be the chambermaid she crossed the room and opened it, still cuddling the teddy bear.
         ‘Think of the devil and he’s bound to appear’ flashed through her mind.
         Luke, his height and breadth filling the entry was standing there.  His strong jaw was definitely clenched and his liquid brown eyes were boring into her.  Make that through her!
         She turned her face from him quickly as her heart beat a tattoo that made her feel weak inside.  It had been two months since she’d last seen him and he was even more strikingly handsome than she remembered.  A surge of longing zinged through her blood making her helpless with yearning for him.
         Dear Lord what was he doing here?  She could do without him at this moment in time.  The look on his face told her that this wasn’t a social call. She didn’t have enough problems did she? 
         Catherine tried to close the door on him but she wasn’t fast enough and anyhow she knew that there wasn’t a hope in hell of her shutting him out.  In panic she rushed over to the bed and made a
futile attempt to hide the baby clothes.
         “Don’t bother darlin’,” he ground out.  “Or weren’t you goin’ to tell me about the baby?”
         Catherine gasped as she kept her back turned to him.  “How did you find out?”
         “Never mind how I found out darlin’.  I’m asking the questions, all you need do is answer them.” 
         Catherine’s head and shoulders slumped in resignation. Who said things couldn’t get worse she asked herself.  Whoever it was didn’t know the half of it!
         “Is the baby mine or isn’t it?  And don’t lie to me Catherine, I’ll insist on DNA testing if that’s what it takes.”
         How could he ask, she wondered?  He knew that she was a virgin before he’d taken her; surely he didn’t think that she had suddenly started sleeping around.  Hell, she wasn’t that desperate or she never had been until she met him.   
         “It’s yours,” she admitted, “but don’t worry, I don’t need, want or expect anything from you Luke.  I never did.”
         Her head lifted and her back straightened.  She wasn’t about to let him think she wasn’t able cope on her own.  She could and would manage OK, thank you very much.
         “Christ Catherine what do you take me for?” he bellowed.  “I’ve made you pregnant and I’ll take responsibility for my actions, we’ll be married as soon as it can be arranged. 
         Catherine half turned towards him the expression in her eyes a mixture of hurt and regret.  Another man who only wanted her for what she could provide.  It wasn’t money as it had been with James but this time Luke wanted something that was infinitely more precious to her than money.  Why was it that no one ever wanted her for herself?
         Catherine turned to him.  “No we won’t Luke.  I will not marry you.  Oh, I know I can’t deny you your parental rights but I won’t marry you just because I’m pregnant.  You don’t do commitment, remember?”
         He had the magnanimity to blush. 
         Catherine knew all too well what it was like to be brought up in a
home where there was no love and her child was not going to be
made to suffer in the way that she had. The circumstances might not be quite the same but she knew now that she was in love with Luke.  She also knew that he didn’t feel the same for her and she wouldn’t marry where her love wasn’t returned.  What kind of life would that be for either them or their child? 
         Oh she knew damned well how it would be.  Through no fault of her own she’d already lived through that particular nightmare.  She wasn’t about to live it again, not for anyone!  If she couldn’t have his love then she didn’t want any part of him.
         Anyhow, what about Claire?  They were still an item weren’t they?  She’d seen the magazine pictures and read the story hadn’t she.
         Catherine looked up at him, her eyes daring him to rebut anything that she had said. 
         He didn’t reply, instead a look of disbelief crossed his face as he caught sight of her bruises.  Catherine’s hand flew up to hide them but he pulled it away and, taking her chin gently between his strong fingers he turned her head to the side. 
         Luke had been to her home and spoken to the police so he knew that Cavendish had assaulted her but he hadn’t realised how badly she’d been hurt.
         “Does this have anything to do with the mess I found at your apartment when I called round there this morning,” he asked gently.
         Not trusting her voice, she nodded.
          “Care to tell me about it?” he asked.
         Not until hell freezes over. She shook her head.  She just wanted to be left alone to sort herself out.  How was she ever going to get over him if he kept turning up to upset her equilibrium?
         She could take his anger, she could take his sarcasm, she had even managed to cope with his indifference, what she could not deal with was his tenderness.  When he looked at her in the way he was now she could feel her resolution begin to crumble. 
         Moving back to the bed Catherine picked up the teddy bear and hugging it close to her she sat down.  She looked so lost and lonely sitting there that Luke walked over and sat beside her.  Putting his strong arms around her he pulled her close, just holding her gently and waiting until she was ready to talk.
         But Catherine wasn’t in the mood for chat.  If he thought she was going to fall for his concerned act, he was mistaken.  She’d fallen for it before and just look how she’d ended up. 
         Claire was welcome to him.  Catherine had had more than enough of him to last a lifetime!  OK.  So who was she kidding?
         “I don’t want to talk about it thank you, just go away and leave me alone.”  She pulled away from him.
         “Oh no darlin, you don’t get rid of me that easily.”  His lazy drawl skittered over her making her nerves quiver and her toes curl.
         “What do you mean?” she asked, as trepidation caused her voice to tremble.
         “You’ve admitted that it’s my child you’re carrying so you’ll marry me or I’ll make sure that you don’t get custody.”
          “You can’t mean that Luke?”  Catherine was appalled.  She was prepared to let him have all the access he wanted so why was he doing this to her?
         He was threatening her again, the first time with her job and now her child, all the time knowing that she wouldn’t dare risk calling his bluff. The man had no scruples.
         “Oh I mean it for sure darlin’.  Take your pick, marry me or you’ll be the one seeking parental access.”
         Catherine’s fear rose as she came ever nearer to panicking but she tried her best not to let him see it and use it against her.
         “I’ll go to the courts for custody,” she contended, “the mother is always favoured over the father.”
         “Catherine, I can afford to fight you through every court in the land and don’t be in any doubt that I will.  Can you say the same?”
         Catherine knew that she couldn’t.  Yes, she had more than enough money to be comfortable but she could never compete with Luke’s fortune.  She could sell her apartment but then how would that help if she had nowhere for herself and her baby to live?
         He must have recognised the defeat in her eyes and placing his arms around her he drew her against his chest and held her there.
         “C’mon now darlin,” his breath whispered past her ear, “you get your things together and I’ll take you home.”
                She sighed deeply.  “I can’t go home until the police have finished their investigations,” she told him being deliberately obtuse.
         Luke looked at her and she could see that he was beginning to run out of patience. 
          “I mean to my home Catherine.  Don’t forget, we have a wedding to plan and you still haven’t told me what happened to you.  You didn’t get bruises like that from walking into a door now did you darlin’?”
         What could she say?  Half-heartedly she began to put her things together.  She felt trapped.  How could she marry Luke?  She knew he didn’t love her.  He wouldn’t stay with her forever.  No one ever did, why would he be any different?
         Catherine couldn’t face an uncertain future knowing that one day he would leave her for the likes of Claire O’Donnell.  She knew that she would never be able to compete with the type of woman he was used to seeing.  She didn’t want to compete with them; she knew that theirs wasn’t the kind of life she wanted for herself. 
         For the moment she would bide her time, rebuild her strength and go along with whatever Luke had planned but when the opportunity arose she would take her chances and leave.  She may have to wait a while but she had patience by the bucketful!  Meanwhile………….

         Luke paid the bill and checked her out of the hotel.  She made a mental note of the cost.  She would pay back every penny as soon as possible.  She wouldn’t be in his debt a minute longer than she had to be. 
         The drive to Luke’s home was made in silence. Catherine wasn’t very forthcoming with information but Luke, although he hadn’t told her, had already been given the outline of the story by the police. 
         When he’d arrived at her apartment this morning they’d questioned him about his relationship with her and on realising he was neither James nor a threat, the police had told him what had happened between her and James Cavendish. They advised him that Cavendish was still at large and was a danger to Catherine.
         Damn, Luke wished he’d done things differently.  When he’d let her walk out of his office and his life he’d known it was the last thing that he wanted.  He hadn’t tried to contact her because he was so cocksure that she would contact him.  Hell, when they parted he’d felt certain that she’d soon be running back for more and so he’d waited and waited. 
         How on earth had he managed to be so blind to that stubborn streak in Catherine?  He sure as hell had her figured wrong didn’t he and now he needed to work out a way to put things right again and fast. 
         Luke had begun to realise that Catherine didn’t give her trust easily.  He was going to have to find a way to win her round but he knew it wasn’t going to be simple.  He was also starting to recognise that he was wrong on other counts too. 
         It was becoming clear to him that she wasn’t out for what she could get.  She’d promptly turned down his offer of marriage hadn’t she?  That wasn’t the act of a fortune hunter was it?  Catherine, he realised, had slept with him for no other reason than that she’d wanted to and now she was going to have his child. 
         He felt protective of her and he was going to make sure that she came to no more harm especially from James Cavendish.  Damn the man, if he could lay his hands on him he would kill him.
         Reaching home he pulled the Jaguar into the driveway, parked and went round the car to help Catherine out.  Unlocking the front door he led her through to the sitting room and taking her things from her went to put them in the spare bedroom. He considered putting them in his room but decided against it.  It was no good pushing things; he would have to take things slowly if he was ever going to regain her trust.
         Catherine looked around her.  This was a charming room, decorated in the Regency style and with lots of comfortable seating.  Heavy drapes framed full-length windows that looked out onto a garden awash with summer colours.  A side table containing a number of framed photographs drew her attention and she walked over to look at them.  Searching for one of Luke she remembered him telling her that the house was not his but belonged to friends who had leased it to him until he could find suitable accommodation.  He must not be in any hurry if he hadn’t found anything yet.
He’d had over three months in which to look around.
         She turned as Luke strolled back into the room.  “This house is only temporary Catherine,” he told her, as if reading her mind. “If you want we can look for somewhere more suitable to live while I finish my work over here but eventually we’ll be returning to my ranch in the USA.  It will probably be better if we continue to lease a house rather than buy.” 
         Catherine’s head spun.  America?  She couldn’t go to America with him. 
         What would happen when Luke became tired of her? And he would tire of her eventually.  How could she live if she lost him?  She knew that losing him would mean that she would lose her child as well.  He would never let her bring their child back to England if they separated.  No, she couldn’t go to America, she may not have any family left but everything that was familiar to her was here in England.  She needed to think. 
         Realising that Luke was speaking to her she turned towards him questioningly.
         He looked at her as though she was a recalcitrant child bent on ignoring him.
         “I said,” he impressed, “I’ll make the wedding arrangements for the middle of September.”
         My God he must be joking!  That was only weeks away.  Things were moving much too fast for her liking.
         “Do you want Church or registrar?” he asked and then without waiting for her to reply he answered his own question, “Church I think.” 
         Not giving her chance to speak he continued, “I’ll have to call my parents so they have plenty of time to come over.  I’m sure Mom would like to help you chose your gown and we’ll get Susie to deal with most of the arrangements.  What do you think?”
         What did she think?  She thought he was insane that’s what she thought.  One mad man in her life wasn’t enough, now she had two of them!  The way he was going on you’d think that a wedding was something he was looking forward to!
         Trying to hide her alarm she looked at him and shrugged her shoulders.  He wasn’t giving her much choice was he? 
         She dropped her lashes over her eyes in case he could read the thoughts hidden there.  If she had her way then none of this was going to happen.           
         Luke strolled over, stood in front of her and taking her hands in his pulled her towards his strong body.
         Catherine held herself rigid knowing that she had to be careful; she was not immune to his touch.  It wouldn’t take much to have her trembling in his arms.  If the way she felt at this moment was anything to go by, she was half way there already.
         “Relax darlin’,” he told her as he ran his strong fingers up her arms and then over her shoulders to cup her face  gently in his hands. She watched mesmerised as he ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip before his mouth came down to cover hers as he lightly but insistently compelled her to open up to him. 
         Mindlessly, she melted into his arms as his tongue brushed temptingly over hers.  The heat began to build in her centre as his hands dropped to her hips and then slid slowly round to grip her bottom before pulling her close against his body.
         ‘It was Ireland all over again,’ Catherine thought as she felt the hard length of his erection press against her feminine core.
         The rush of adrenaline had her torn between wanting to follow where he led and running for her life.  She chose flight.  As her breath came in gasps she pushed herself away from him.
         “Please Luke, don’t do this to me,” she begged.  “You know you don’t want to marry me. What about Claire, or have you conveniently forgotten her?”
         “Catherine darlin’, don’t worry your pretty head about Claire or anyone else.  This marriage is goin’ to take place so you’d better get used to the idea, like it or not.”
         Taking her hand he drew her back towards him. 
         “C’mon,” he said, “I’ll show you to your room and you can rest for a while and I’ll make a start on the wedding arrangements.”
         The arrogance of the man left her speechless but she followed him up the stairs where he showed her to a room overlooking the garden and with its own en-suite.  Her bags were already there on the bed.
         “You can have your own room for the time being,” Luke told her, “but once we’re married you’ll share my bed.  Ours will be a marriage in every sense of the word.”
         He placed a kiss on his finger and touched it to her lips before walking off, leaving her on her own.
         A lump formed in Catherine’s throat as she experienced a number of different sensations at once, including love and need and want but fatigue was uppermost. 
         Perhaps a shower would help to refresh her.  Stripping off, she walked into the cubicle and turning on the taps she let the warm water flow over her ripe body. 
         Although not yet noticeably pregnant she could feel the slight differences in her body as she ran her hands over her burgeoning breasts and her gently rounded abdomen. 
         This was her child.  Hers and Luke’s she reminded herself.  Could she marry him knowing that he didn’t love her?  If she thought he would love their child then maybe it would be enough. 
         Could she live with that?  No, Catherine didn’t think she could, not when she knew that one day he would leave her.  When that day eventually arrived she would surely die from a broken heart.  It was better to control things now while she still held onto some semblance of sanity.  The deeper in she went the harder it would be at the end.           She had to get away, far enough that Luke wouldn’t be able to find her.  But where would she go?  That was the problem.  She had enough money to be able to hide away for a while.  Hopefully until Luke returned to America.  But how long was long enough? 
         Catherine needed to think this through but she was too tired at the moment to be able to consider things logically. She needed to rest first in order to clear her mind.
         She finished her shower and after wrapping herself in a large fluffy towel Catherine lay down on top of the bed.  As she drifted into sleep could hear Luke’s voice in the distance talking on the telephone.
         She must have been asleep for quite a while because when she woke the clock on the bedside cabinet was showing five thirty.
                Struggling to sit up she realised that she wasn’t alone.  Luke was
stretched out in a chair, his booted feet, crossed at the ankles were resting on the edge of the bed.  Catherine’s eyes trailed up the length of him taking in the sight of his jeans pulled tight over his muscular thighs and the hard length of his manhood imprisoned behind the metal snaps.  His shirt, open down the front and with the sleeves rolled back gave her glimpses of hidden delectation.  She longed to circle her tongue over his flat male nipples just the way he had with hers what seemed like aeons ago now. 
         Her mouth dried up at the thought and her tongue slid over her lips in an effort to moisten them.  Moving higher, she drank in the sight of his handsome face relaxed in sleep.  Or maybe it wasn’t? 
         As she watched him she noticed that he was also watching her from under his thickly lashed lids.  She blushed and started to push herself up the bed.
         That was a big mistake.  She’d forgotten that she was only wearing a bath-towel.
         The movement caused the already loose towel to fall free leaving her exposed to his openly admiring gaze. Catherine made a hasty grab for the counterpane in order to cover her nakedness but he kept his booted feet on the edge of the bed, preventing her from achieving her aim.  Groaning, she tried to pull the towel from under herself but without much luck!  “Luke, please.”
         “Please what darlin’?” he asked, a wicked grin on his face.
         Exasperated, Catherine managed to free the towel and cover her nudity.
         Luke’s face turned serious as he dropped his feet to the floor and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.  “We need to talk,” he told her.  “I know what happened to your face and to your home Catherine.  The police want you to stay away from there for a while, at least until they catch up with Cavendish.”
         “But I need to sort everything out Luke,” she argued.  “There’s such a lot to do to put it all right again.”
         “I’m sorry darlin’ but there is no way you’re goin’ back there as long as that madman is running loose!  I’ll get workmen in to sort things out but you will stay away.”
                If he thought she backed down a little too readily he didn’t say anything but he knew she was wilful and would need watching.  Luke didn’t want her putting herself in harm’s way; he’d sure as hell tie her to the bed if that’s what it took to keep her safe.
         Catherine was making plans of her own and they didn’t include being tied to a bed.  She had to get away before it was too late but she needed to think things through carefully.  Luke had the money to employ people to look for her if he wanted and so the fewer clues to her whereabouts she left, the harder it would be for them to find her.  Definitely no planes but she didn’t have her passport so fleeing abroad wasn’t an option. 
         It was somewhere amongst her belongings at home and even if it had survived the wreckage, Luke wasn’t going to allow her to go home so she wouldn’t be able to get it. No she thought; planes were out and so were trains. 
         If Luke decided to hire a detective she knew that it would be all too easy to trace her journey.  She was going to have to drive herself. It was lucky that she kept her driving license in her wallet and she also had her bank cards.  She could take a taxi out of the area and then hire a car.  No, no taxis; it would have to be a bus. 
         Catherine hoped that it would take forever to trace which hire firm she might use.  She didn’t need to take much in the way of clothing and the like; she could buy most of what she needed as she went along.  If she could draw enough money from her account then she wouldn’t need to use cash machines for a while. 
         Had she covered everything?  She didn’t know for sure but it was a start.  She hoped that if she stayed hidden for long enough then Luke would get fed up with the idea of marriage and parenthood and haul himself back to the good old US of A
         All she had to do now was get away from Luke for long enough to get to her bank.  And that, she thought was going to be the hard part.