I Long To Be In Wyoming

Notes From a Serial Killer Soccer Mom

Okay! I have restablished my account with writing.com because I can no longer not write.  I have to do it.  I have so much material in a single day it's unbelievable.  Let's take yesterday for example.  I started the day with phone calls from G (the ex.) about Maddie being sick and she couldn't send her to school for the 3rd day blah, blah, blah.  G is on vacation so it's been a 3 day play date with Mommy and her mom has claimed illness -  BS!  Anyway, after several phone calls with G (that's what I'll call her) I got Em off to school and started researching soccer equipment for girls  I  found out the night before that Emily was signed up for soccer and her first practice was today.  So I went to Dick's, got what I thought she'd need, and met her after Brownie's.  She'd already had a full day as the school had gone to the Taft Theater for the day.  While driving to practice, Em is asking me all kinds of questions about what to expect and I don't know.  I never played soccer and it's the only sport I really know nothing about other than people run around a lot and David Beckham plays.  There was some other famous guy back in the 80's -Pele I think? As we're driving my cellphone rings and it's J, where are you, where are you going, how do I get there, while Dad is ringing in to say hey to Emily and make sure we got there okay and he was really proud of her, etc.  I'm thinking, we're going to soccer practice, right?  We didn't just win the Olympics(guess you had to be there).  Em refused to wear the shorts that I'd gotten her and played in her blue jeans and gym shoes.  She looked like white lightening with her white blond hair and speed.  She jumped right in and got on in.  Of course, we didn't have the right equipment and she ran to the sidelines to tell me the first chance she got. But, she did well.  J managed to find the place, dressed up like a cute little executive and I found myself sitting on the side lines with 4 women I'm pretty sure I don't want to be friends with and one other that seemed almost normal.  It was amazing to find myself becoming a "soccer mom" this late in life.  It's crazy.  And, another thing that's crazy is that old J Waldron is running the entire league and chastised me just like he used to at P&G because apparently I had not filled out the paperwork to enroll the girls correctly.  Of course, this was after I filled out paperwork and never got a response and THEN went on line and signed them up again.  AND, this all was happening for the two weeks we had a different phone number because the cable people and phone people are freaking idiots!  But, that's another story.  Back to soccer, we survived, Em was exhausted but I think she was proud of herself and other than a little whining she was great when we got home.  Of course, she didn't want to go to school today because her legs hurt.  Well, no kidding! You run for 40 minutes straight, yeah those muscles are going to be a little sore and chocolate milk probably won't help. But, if you won't to go shopping after school for the stuff you need for soccer, you have to go to school.  So off she went!  I don't play that "I'm sick, no school: gig.  Amazing, I'm such a tyrant.