Despertar

when i grow up

In the spirit of Acme, who wants to grow up to be a Bond villain, I think when I grow up, I'd like to be an evil genius, a la Jigsaw, and design an unending string of life-or-deathtraps.

That, or a neonatal nurse whose only job is to rock the preemies to sleep.

*

Twenty-three is awkward. Twenty-three just kind of perfectly straddles the boundary between still legitimately immature and really too old to act that way.

I currently live in my very first non-dorm apartment, which, if I'm to believe the wisdom of the elders, I will always remember fondly. I wouldn't be able to afford the rent without my student loans. It's a building full of yuppies, most of them between three and fifteen years older than I am. The doormen smile indulgently when I pass through the lobby, look out for me when they think I've forgotten something. "It's the fifth, Miss; did you drop off your rent check?" (Remembering the time I raced barefoot through the main-floor hallway with a crumpled check in my hand five seconds before the leasing office closed and applied my late fees.) "What color is your car, Miss? A gentleman has been complaining; he says you bumped his car when you backed out and took off his side mirror." (That was actually Valerie, not me, though I have scraped his car, more than once, in my efforts not to hit those stupid pillars.)

I feel very adult, here, with my cheap Trader Joe's wine on my desk, my sage-colored drapes that perfectly match my bedclothes and that I hung, myself, after a two-hour battle with a tension rod. (Three aborted screw-holes on the wall next to the windowframe, from where I first tried to install an actual drapery rod with actual mounts and finials. Frustrated with school and Justin that day, so I guess I took my feelings out on the hammer.) My plants on the windowsill, still alive after seven months. My shockingly immaculate bathroom with bright yellow Ikea shower curtain, bright blue hand towels and floor mat, framed print of bright yellow anemone fish against bright blue tropical waters to bring it all together. My texts on the lower half of the bookshelf, novels on the top half, with a middle shelf dedicated to picture frames and punctuated with a single squat bottle of coffee Patron.

I feel very young, though, when I have to call my mother and ask her things like, how long, exactly, do English muffins keep in the fridge, when you've forgotten they were there?/How much bleach do you need to dump into the washing machine to counteract the bloody effects of a red towel you accidentally threw in the hot water with all your whites? And when I have to go downstairs to let Justin in, particularly when it's late at night, and creep him past the warden-like security guy on duty, who glares at us as though we're smuggling diamonds. And when the maintenance team comes up in response to our many complaints, inspects the dishwasher and informs me, straight-faced, that it won't start because I haven't latched the door.

Mostly, though, being the head of my own household makes me feel very grown up. Being able to stay up as late as I want, and so on. Which, I know, could stand as a solid argument in the other direction.

*

I have to say, also, a common sentiment among adults, I've noticed, is the "I hope I never grow up!" theme, which I don't think I understand. Childlike innocence and wonder notwithstanding, young people are stupid, cruel, inexperienced and irresponsible. Adults, traditionally, tend to be wiser and kinder--even the lighthearted, frugal ones. Why not let yourself grow up, and aspire to be a wise, kind, lighthearted and frugal adult with virtuous but mature priorities? Why do we glamorize immaturity?

Or, maybe that's just one of those semantic things, and I'm taking it too seriously. But I bristle whenever I hear a thirty-or fortysomething wax self-aggrandizing about being a kid inside. I'm doing everything I can to earn my grown-up wings.

*

My second generation couples are coupling. All grown up. I've only had two weddings, so far, but I'm excited.

[abshire]

Clayton (BRO) (GRA) (F)
Stephanie Hsiang (BLA) (BRO) (F)
Ashton (BRO/bla) (BRO/gra) (F)
         Kaya Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Tess (BRO/bla) (BRO/gra) (F)
         Patrick Quinn (BRO) (LBL) (F)

For your information, Jenn, after I did the matchups, Tess (and Marc, as you'll see later) were left over without anyone to marry, and couldn't marry each other because of skin color. I had to make Patrick, a new adult, and Nicole, same, to marry them. As an added bonus, new genetic material.

[arora]

Keaton (BLA) (BRO) (D)
Elizabeth Butler (BRO) (GRE) (T)
Emma (BLA/bro) (BRO/gre) (M)
         Matthew Schafer (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)

The sad thing, though, about watching a beloved Sim, like Elizabeth, age, is that her adulthood beauty is kind of lost forever, now. She didn't pass on her good traits (green eyes, vulnerable cleft chin, sweet jawbones) to her daughter Emma, and Emma was an only child, so basically the Butler genes are gone forever.

[bourdain]

Todd (BRO) (GRA) (D)
Sivan Thompson (BRO) (GRE) (D)
Alec (BRO) (GRE/gra) (D)
         Jordan Maxwell (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)

Also, I know I'm particular, but I really hate when two brown-haired parents give birth to a black-haired child. Just because in real life it's such a non-likelihood. Which, as you can see, because brown and black hair are incompletely dominant in Sim genetics, is a possibility for any offspring of Alec and Jordan's.

[bright]

Emmett (BLO) (BLU) (F)
Georgia Mackey (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Collin (BLA/blo) (BRO/blu) (T)
         Claire Lauren (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)

I love a really obvious phenotypic trait that I can track through the generations. Though Collin has his mother's coloring, he inherited Emmett's enormous ears and full, upturned lips. I can't wait to see whether Collin's children with Claire (who could have any color hair, yay!) inherit the same.

[jin]

Ang-Lee (BLA) (BRO) (T)
Jasmine Hale (RED) (GRA) (D)
Kiran (BLA/red) (BRO/gra) (M)
         Ariel Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)

I felt sure Ang-Lee and Jasmine were going to earn the baby bonus (which, remember, is when each half of a couple reaches the end of a career track during the woman's fertile years; they can then procreate for however long they've got left after the prescribed children are born). Didn't happen. Just Kiran, who, honestly, is so boring to look at and to play, I wasn't eager to replicate her, anyway.

[jones]

Jonathan (BLA) (GRE) (D)
Michelle Atkinson (BLA) (BLU) (D)
Colton (BLA) (BLU/gre) (D)
         Carlin Maxwell (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
Jaden (BLA) (BLU/gre) (D)
         Bridget White (BLO) (LBL/gra) (T)

Colton and Jaden turned out well against the odds. Jonathan and Michelle never saved up enough money to build a proper house, so the family of four basically lived like squatters with a couple of skill-building objects they could barely afford (and sometimes had to sell for groceries). I like to think Colton and Jaden looked at their own circumstances, their uncomfortable beds underneath the stars, and vowed to work as hard as they could so as to avoid history repeating itself with their own families. They had each maxed out two skills by the time they reached high school.

[lauren]

Jean (BRO) (GRE) (F)
Vanessa Elliott (RED) (GRA) (M)
Beau (BRO/red) (GRE/gra) (T)
         Bella White (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
Claire (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)
         ...
Marc (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)
         Nicole Grasty (BLA) (BRO) (D)

Jean's pointed chin and nose are another example. He looks like...well, I can't quite pinpoint it, but I'm thinking some really obvious Disney villain? Not pointed in the Jafar kind of way, but sort of like one of those evil, thin French archetypes with the curly mustache, you know? And I didn't realize he looked that way till he turned elder and all his features angularized even more; then I took another look at each of his kids in the mirror and, lo and behold, they all had it, that Pinocchio nose, that crescent-moon chin. Beau and Bella's wedding was the first in the neighborhood. No matter how many children are born each generation, I never deny any pair of lovers their frontyard wedding under the fancy arch. You just feel like you know them better, looking into their faces as they exchange vows, even if they happen to be in the middle of many siblings and heretofore ignored, more or less.

[maddox]

Michael (BRO) (BLU) (T)
Chelsea Cho (BLA) (BRO) (T)
Justin (BLA/bro) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Persephone Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
Dylan (BRO/bla) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Kyla Stephanides (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)

I didn't want Justin and Dylan to marry Persephone and Kyla, but they were the only unattached women left, after it was all done with. Justin and Dylan are the two handsomest boys in White Falls, taking after their smoldering dad and their exotic lotus blossom of a mom. Persephone is cursed with the Stephanides Eyes, which we'll discuss later; Kyla just isn't good enough for Dylan, and she was a distraction, mooning around after him every day for a week straight after school. Plus, she's the one with those ghostly narrow gray eyes; she looks blind. Justin and Dylan are both doctors-to-be. They could have had their pick.

[maxwell]

Richard (BRO) (GRE) (D)
Monica Spencer (BLA) (BRO) (D)
Jordan (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         ...
Carlin (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         ...

Like the Arora and Jin lines, the Maxwell line is done with. Cue "Taps."

[miranda]

Lucio (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Heather Crawley (BLO) (GRE) (F)
Sasha (BRO/blo) (BRO/gre) (T)
         Bianca White (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
Laura (BRO/blo) (BRO/gre) (T)
         Apollo Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)

I've noticed the families I like best, like the Miranda family, of which every member is devastatingly attractive and accomplished, tend to wind up the best off financially and otherwise. Their house was finished first, their decor is the most exciting of any in the neighborhood, and Sasha and Laura have the best clothes and hairdos of any of their peers. The White-Miranda wedding was beautiful and lavish, with actual food (as opposed to plates of gelatin on the grass) and Myshuno and actual guests. I have high hopes for the Miranda line as it continues through Sasha. (Laura actually isn't as good-looking as her parents or brother, but she's in, maybe, an awkward phase. Blue lips, weird ripped jeans, et cetera.)

[mcadams]

Bennett (RED) (LBL) (T)
Morgan Xu (BLA) (GRA) (T)
Kyla (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...
Sheadon (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         Helios Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)

Oh, I had forgotten Kyla and Sheadon were half-Chinese. Though I guess Kyla looks it, at least.

[o'hara]

William (BLO) (BRO) (F)
Alexandra McVeigh (RED) (BRO) (F)
Aaden (RED/blo) (BRO) (F)
         Elle Schafer (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
Keegan (BLO/red) (BRO) (F)
         Taj Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)

I'm not into the O'Haras. I cringe whenever it's time to play them. William and Alexandra, who got paired up by chance, happen to be the two least attractive members of the first generation, bad haircuts and all. Aaden and Keegan look nothing alike, but are each ugly in their own ways. They were another family who spent days living like squatters and didn't really have a house to speak of till the kids were in their teens.

[schafer]

Kale (RED) (BLU) (M)
Susana Mendes (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Elle (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         ...
Matthew (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         ...

Sigh. Matthew Schafer is a dead ringer for his dad, Kale, who, you recall, looks just like Justin. Which means I spend a lot of time just sort of clicking on things to look at his face, dolling him up in the mirror, et cetera. I really hope Emma is good enough for him.

[shankar]

Alan (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Claudia Price (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Kaya (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         ...
Ariel (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         ...
Taj (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         ...

The Shankars, you may recall, earned the baby bonus and had time for two births, but, thanks to a twin surprise (Ariel and Taj), wound up with three kids in one very overcrowded house. The nice thing about waiting till the very end of adulthood to procreate is that, really, trying to cultivate a career is not conducive to good parenting. As elders, Alan and Claudia did a fantastic, efficient job of potty-training three toddlers, and because they didn't have any skills to build of their own, could spend their days preparing and cleaning up meals and just generally being available to play Red Hands, keeping the kids' moods up so they could devote their waking hours to learning. What's the plural of wunderkind? Yeah, that's Kaya and her brothers.

[stephanides]

Christopher (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Jessica Addison (BRO) (BLU) (F)
Apollo (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...
Persephone (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...
Helios (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...

I was trying to make Christopher Stephanides look Greek: wide-set, prominent eyes, Mediterranean nose, full lips. Unfortunately, Christopher's genes combined incompletely and very poorly with Jessica's. Apollo has the very wide-set eyes, which proves his paternity but makes him look, as I may have mentioned, like he has Down Syndrome. Persephone's eyes are fine, but her lips take up the entirety of her narrow lower face (a genetic gift from the smaller-mouthed Jessica). Helios is a total mess. He looks like a science experiment. His eyes are as close as possible to the front of his face, and they angle downward at the outsides, so he looks slow and unfocused. I hesitate to inflict them on the population, this freak show trinity.

[white]

Basil (BLO) (GRA) (T)
Briony Lang (BLO) (LBL) (T)
Bianca (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...
Bridget (BLO) (LBL/gra) (T)
         ...
Bella (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...

I did everything I could not to ruin these girls' lives, and somehow, it worked. Two are married off, and Bridget stayed in her parents' home long enough to watch it transform from an unimpressive shack to the most opulent mansion in the neighborhood.

And there you have them. Generation Two, all grown up.