BLAHHG....BLAHHG...BLAHHG!

I Chose Him For My 'Friend'.....

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One of the things the old people taught me about the spirits was to never have a doubt.
~Wallace Black Elk, (Lakota)

Back in the day...many years back now...I remember driving on this road you see in the above photograph, and trying to dodge all the potholes. The rez was like a war-zone, complete with roads filled with potholes that you constantly had to dodge. It was sort of funny in a way. And if it wasn't the roads you were dodging, you were sometimes dodging bullets or wagging tongues. There seems to be the mentality of the likeness of crabs in a box...one would try to climb out and the others would drag that one down.
I have a friend, who I call 'friend' now, but we weren't friends a long time ago. He comes from a great family of Wakan Wicasa's (what whites call, Medicine Men) and great warriors. I remember working for his uncle at the tribal office and he once told me, 'Everyone knows he can be a great Wakan Wicasa, but he'd rather drink, and because of that, he won't be given anything. He had a young son he was raising in a house filled with rats and drunk brothers, as well as his mother and father (they were such sweet Elders). No matter, he loved his son, and he cared for this baby(his son) the best he could despite the conditions.
One night, one of the brothers came to me and pleaded with me to come help them because he was drunk, mad and taking it out on this 2 year old baby. I didn't hesitate...I hopped in my Jeep Cherokee that I had at that time, and went to the house. It was dark and they had no electricity, I didn't really know what I was going to do but I just knew I had to get the baby out of there. The moon light shown through the window of the room I heard the noise in, and I could see a silhouette of what looked like a rag-doll being thrown across the room they were in. Coming from the next room, I could hear the Elders yelling in Lakota for him to stop...he was thinking crazy. All I could think of was that I needed to get this little one out of there. I jumped on this drunk man and yelled for one of the brothers to take this baby and go get help...as I ran to leave he caught me by my hair and swung at me, hitting me in the ear. The loud ringing in my ear and the pain I felt was bad, but I knew I was alive still and I had to get out of there as well, but if I only had shorter hair, for you see he pulled me by my hair again and started hitting me. I quickly had to try to calm him, but there is no reasoning with a drunk. As he was going to get his knife I ran into the room with his mother and father, but he came after me...jumping behind his mother...he caught me in the leg and cut me. His mother and father screaming at him...he finally got the notion to take my car(which had my keys in it) and go find his son. As he was going he said he was going to run it off the butte with his son in it too. I knew I had to find a way to get help...his brother who had originally taken the child came back(why I don't know, other than he too was too drunk to know better)...I heard my car go and quickly told the brother he needed to get me to a house with a phone. We ran through the prairie grass down towards the White River to a house in the distance with lights on (Civilization I thought with relief...but if I could only get there). It was soooo dark, you couldn't see much in front of you, but then we both saw the head lights of my car coming up over the butte and heading towards us. His brother told me to hide...but where, I wondered...at that moment I asked Tunkashila and the spirits to help me...hide me. I threw myself down into the tall prairie grass there and just kept still...I could see the headlights and just held my breath and remained still. His brother kept running towards the house we had originally headed for. I could hear the car stop and him asking, 'where is she?' He was fuming I could tell...his anger was more a rage now...as I heard him go into that house and yell at them asking if I was there. I should have stayed right where I was, but decided to head back to that house where the elders were to see if I could get them out. It was really a night of horrors...he did catch me again in the house...his brothers hiding me under the bed...I finally decided he'd kill them all for hiding me, so I just came out from under there, especially after saying he would kill the baby too. I couldn't bare it.
I told him to take me and leave the baby. He picked up his double barrel and took me for a lonnng walk out past the White River and into the Badlands. He held the gun to my chest and even pulled back on it, and as he did that, it was like something came over me...a calm...I knew I wasn't alone, I calmly told him that he didn't really want to kill me...killing me would only destroy him more...I can not remember all that was said on that dreadful night, but as someone said, 'mannn, you could sure talk your way out of a paper bag.' It really wasn't me...I assure you...I had help. But to share with you the 'gifts' this man had if he had just put down the bottle, he made circles around me as I was talking with him and at one point he said, 'You know Wia, I could make the wind kick up if I want to and circle around us.' And with that...he did...the wind which was null, kicked up and whirled around and around us. I remained calm even then. Somehow he conceded he didn't want to kill me..I convinced him to go back and sleep it off. He did, but the next day, he felt horrible about what he had done and knew I would no longer be there to help him and his family. He had a respect for me when he was sober and a love, but drinking would bring the devil into him.
It took me years to get over that. I ended up getting custody of the baby...The elders asked if I would take the baby(their grandchild), and the babies father was sent to prison for a while.
I believe he learned from that...he did stop drinking and since that time had tried to seek forgiveness in his own way. I chose to make him my 'friend' again because I knew he really regretted what he did. Everyone else would not forgive him for bad things he had done and remind him of his past(even today people are this way with him), yet I feel that it is who you are now that really matters and what you can become today that really counts.
Today, he tries to help people whenever he can, by holding ceremonies and sweats for those in need. He no longer has doubts of his 'gifts' given to him. He is a healer and a good soul. I love him as a brother and as a 'friend' today because of his decision to put down the bottle and be who he was meant to be....A SunDancer...a Healer...A Warrior for the Oyate(people), and a real friend. I 'gift' this song today because he would always listen to this song and say it reminded him of me. For you, My 'Friend'...I know you'll be reading this! I am proud of you, just so you knowww!
I want you all to know that I don't place this out to stone nor condemn him. In fact, I hold honor and respect for this man...for I want to relay the thought that everyone can change if they really want to, and they can be the best at what they are 'gifted' despite the doubts planted along the way, if they trust the Creator. We both agree that I was placed in his life for a reason...it wasn't to 'change' him, but moreso to show him a different way and to lead him to where he needed to be. He too, was in my life to help me...he taught me 'forgiveness'. In my view, this 'friend' is a fine man and I am happy he is in my life today.

My 'Gift' Of Song For You This Day~

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