Just Another Cottage in Blogville

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My upgraded membership here is to expire within the week, but I have found another outlet for blogging that I would be willing to share with all of you if I do indeed settle there. No worries about this membership; I will renew it myself in the not-too-distant future when I have more time. Right now all of my writing energy and reading energy is focused on papers, textbooks, and ancient Greek poets. Yeah, I loved it at first, but Virgil just... I dunno, we don't mesh in the way of reading comprehension.

Lots of stress, knots inside, and things that I am going to take to professional counseling to work out. Sure, this is 'the best time of my life,' as indeed it has been, but I have come to the realization that all of my insecurities that I'd associated with high school and my small town didn't shed with the geography. I am going to take the bull by the horns as they say and work this out.

I have met some of the best people I've never expected. Their friendships have been a surviving cable for me. They have made all of the stress worth it. In reality, living here gives me two options: study or have fun. Work hard, play hard is my new mantra. Once I've got my work (semi) done I take a break, go to a floor that holds many of my friends, and just hang out with my roomie - who, by the way deserves an award for living with me - and favorite floormate.

Unfortunately I have not kept in touch with family and friends as I hoped I would. I just returned from a jog and am off for a shower before studying, writing, reading, more studying, more writing, more reading... the cycle doesn't end, especially with damn midterms around the next two weeks. Fabulousness at its most fabulous.

However, I have found a friend who is the most chill person out of all of the guys on the floor I mentioned above. As I described it to him, the floor is filled with a bunch of guys who would be black sheep anywhere else, but together they create the most unpretentious, fun floor filled with guys who would do anything for anyone who needed anything while harboring their true nature as a bunch of little boys who love playing smash brothers till sunrise, horseplay, and making lots and lots and lots of noise.

Anyway, my friend is the first person I've met who reminds me of someone from home. He came up to my room to fix my MP3 player and its sync issues with my computer. It took three days, and during those three days we spent hours just talking. Yesterday he came upstairs around five-thirty, we went to dinner at six with Roomie and Floormate, and came back to watch some funny YouTube videos and Lady Gaga's 'Alejandro' music video. Then Roomie and Floormate - who, with the guys on the Fourth Floor forming some kind of conspiracy to set us up - left to watch a movie in Floormate's room. They said they'd be back... But it was just the two of us in my room talking (I swear that's all it was; I wasn't even wearing make-up, just my glasses, a t-shirt and plain shorts that go to my knees) until two am when Roomie asked if he was still in our room. He was, and I asked her if she wanted us to leave, she didn't particularly care, so he and I went on a walk.

'Have you kissed yet?' she texted. I replied that we hadn't, and she said, 'Make a move girl!'

We'd already spent the entire time talking about everything from our siblings and families to our dogs, to our ex relationships, to politics and religion... Absolutely everything came apart with such ease. He held my hand for a while as our conversations became more personal.

It was past curfew (boys and girls have to be off each other's floors by 2am on Fridays and Saturdays) so we strolled through campus to a pretty park on the opposite side. It was significantly cooler than we'd expected, and he apologized for not knowing it would be so cold. He wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder, tired and snuggling for better warmth. After a while I heard someone shout. I looked up and said, 'Did you hear that?'

'No.'

'I heard someone.'

'I think it was a dog.'

I turned to say something, and as I turned toward him our faces were unexpectedly close and our lips brushed. Totally shocked my eyes popped open, and I saw a campus police officer walking our way through the shadows.

I pulled away and whispered, 'Police officer.' We stiffened. I was expecting a citation for public display of affection (even though we were in a vacant park far removed from campus and it was three in the morning), but he merely said, 'Nice night. I love this time of year.'

'Yeah, it's really nice...'

And he continued past us and we were alone once more.

We chatted a bit more, I rested my head on his shoulder again and drifted into a light sleep that was too heavy for opening my eyelids or responding to him squeezing my hand, but light enough that I was aware of it all. Eventually I realized that we'd been in the park for over an hour and should probably head back. It was extremely cold anyway.

We stood up and kissed again before holding hands and walking back across campus to our dorm building. My teeth chattered and he apologized again. 'It's ok, don't worry about it,' I reassured him.

'What are you going to tell the guys?' I asked.

'What I usually do - smile and walk away.'

'Just use your judgment.' I told him that I didn't care if he mentioned it to two of our good mutual friends. 'They won't be ridiculous about it.'

He agreed. He told me that when he stopped briefly on the floor before we met to go for our walk, all of the guys had been texting him and asking where the fuck he was. 'Is he DEAD?!' asked his roommate. One of the guys stopped him and insinuated that we hadn't just been talking, and told him he was the 'man' though he knew me and knew it wouldn't be like that. Ever.

'All of the guys have gotten something since they've been here,' he explained to me.

'I know.' I told him I would probably be honest with Roomie and Floormate, and he was fine with that.

After he dropped me off at my room and gave me one last light kiss, I went in my room and told Roomie everything. She thought the kiss was 'so cute', which it was. He and I texted for a half an hour and agreed to spend another night like that next weekend.

He did in fact tell our mutual friends and they were happy for us. 'Everyone agrees that we're good for each other,' he said.

Indeed, I have been happier and lighter ever since he and I began talking. Things have become less distorted and emotional and I have begun to relax more. Not that I had ever been less than myself, but I was often out of my depth. He reminds me so much of one of my best friends from home that I just loosened up and got back in touch with that side of me.

'I like your personality,' he said. The best feeling ever.