My Musings, not always daily

Should- Should it be banned from the English langurage?

Should- one word that changes the hearer's attitude in a second. "You Shouldn't do that." "I don't think you should do that", "do you really think you should do that?" My word, by the time you have heard these sentences, you are questioning your very thought process. Even the positive; "Maybe you should do it," leaves a question as to what is the right thing to do.


I looked up the definition of the word and it indicated "obligation, duty or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's action."


It means to indicate a "desirable or expected state." It can also be used to "give advice or a probable result." After looking at all these definitions, I think it is a horrible word. The person using this word in any sentence is eliciting an reaction, either by comparison to the speaker's expectations or by a standard (rules) set by another.





"Do you really think you SHOULD wear that?" Right away, if the question of opinion was not asked, the hackles are up. "What's wrong with what I am wearing?"





"We probably should go to the party." Neither want to go, but there is an obligation or expectation (rule) set that must be considered.


If there was no "Should" We would say, "Do you want to go? "No." "Is there an reason for us to go?" "Your Boss might hold it against you." "That is a probable reason, but since neither of us want to go let's just not go and see what happens."


There is no guilt. A decision was reached and the consequences are accepted. "Should's" just hang over on us long after the event is over and we think what we "could" have done.


The next time you catch yourself using the word "Should" think about it. What SHOULD you do? What are you expecting of the person you have said this word to?





If the dress of the person in question is not quite to your standards or the standards you think are expected; state the fact. "I believe there is a dress code for that restaurant. You may be turned away. If you wear that outfit be prepared for others to judge you by their standards and I love you too much see you hurt. If you chose to continue, I want you to know I will love you just the same. Not once is the word SHOULD spoken but the message was the same. Concern and compassion.





The only time I can see this word used in a sentence is when the expected end is a calculation that has undetermined veriables. "If you go this way, you should get there on time, if the traffic isn't heavy or there isn't construction." "If you mix all the ingredients the way she says, you should have a great dessert.





I hope this has caused you to question the word SHOULD .


Should you read this, I hope it impresses you enough to pass it along.