Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the letter X.

THE PROMPT: "What if the "one that got away", the person who absolutely ripped your heart to shreds, came crawling back to you begging for another chance? How would you handle the situation?"

First off, who writes these prompts? Are they trying to get us killed? Some of us have husbands, wives and significant others who read this!! All kidding aside, for the sake of discussion, I'll limit the "ones that got away" to ones that left me and took a lot out of me physically and emotionally (and materialistically as well), rather than the ones I left and later realized that maybe that wasn't the right choice at the time...or that later on maybe things would've been different.

I have two points I'd like to make. I am a single man in a committed relationship with Jess the CWC. I can without a doubt say that if any of these girls came prancing into my life right now just as easily as they seemingly left it, there is ZERO chance of them ever getting let back into this heart. It was a steel trap from the start...hard to get into, easy to leave, and just like the shitty bar down the street, once you leave we mark you with an X on your hand and there's no re-admittance. That's the gist of point number one.

Now, for the sake of argument, let's say I'm not taken. Let's say I'm single and in my mid-thirties, and been through failed relationships of varying degrees. Knowing that people have the ability to potentially change over time, the rules relax a little. Maybe you pay another cover charge to get back in...maybe the bouncer and bartenders keep a disturbingly cautious eye on you. Perhaps the focus shifts more toward remembering the good times and pledging not to let whatever failed us in the past become a problem in the future. But that's neither here nor there, hence...

The second point I'd like to make, which I think should be the most compelling argument against ex's reuniting....which is, and note the italics for emphasis: They are ex's for a reason. And typically, that reason shouldn't matter because there is a reason period that you weren't meant for the long haul. And things like time, distance and experience are usually not enough to overcome the reason (or reasons) that couldn't keep you two together.

Now, the question remains regarding how you handle this. I'll try to tackle this by scenario...here we go, yo...

Scenario 1: You've moved on and are established in a committed relationship.

My friends, this door needs to shut as quickly as possible, if it needs to be opened at all. Maybe now she's ready to part with all of the cd's, hoodies and pajama pants you were never allowed to get back once she decided she wanted the milkman over you (and now she's suddenly lonely and misses you). Don't do it. Don't even allow yourself to think about it. And you know what? It's ok to be rude and mean...she had no problem casting you aside, remember? Her twisting and turning of your heart muscles further extended her grip on you, but she let it go like throwing trash down the sewer grate. And now that she's older, she's probably feeling more like the sewer grate. Don't be afraid, in no uncertain terms, to remind her.

Scenario 2: You're still single after several failed relationships.

Move with extreme caution. Never tip your hand, and never present too much information. No matter how badly your urge to re-sack her is eating at your shorts, don't, and I mean don't, just pour your heart out when you bump into her at Starbucks. Remember, anything is prone to scaring women off. So don't tell her that you've waited for this moment, or that every girl has left you for another girl, or anything that might implicate yourself to something the other sex finds just too bizarre or hideous. Be smart, determine her intentions, and take it slow. If the reason/reasons you didn't make it weren't life-threatening, and the good outweighed the bad, maybe smarter and more experienced daters can prevail. But damn, the success rate in this scenario is probably more in line with your own individual success rate in relationships if you're willing to travel down the same road you crashed your car on once before.

Scenario 3: Plain and simple...you're ex's for a reason. Have a little dialogue until one of you figures that point out, and part ways as nicely as possible. Realizing at an early state of conversation is half the key...realizing that it didn't work then and there's reasons why it won't work now are just as important.

MUSICAL BREAK:

Only one band was ever meant to sing this song, and I believe this is the only song suitable for today's entry (out of maybe 3-5 others, but this one sticks out). Sorry for the lousy sound quality, but you've heard this song before I'm sure anyway, and I don't think anyone needs to sit through a 5+ min.- or longer- version of anything this band does. See? I really do care about the people that read this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GN2kpBoFs4

DID YOU KNOW...(NEW FEATURE!!)

...that I owned once a copy of the above band's '80's comeback album on cassette? Throw your hands in the air if you know what a cassette is!

VITAL STATS (PROS AND CONS EDITION):

Now that the kids are back in town and are starting school tomorrow, we won't have to take the garbage out anymore and my weekday mornings off will revert back to me and this empty house. VERDICT: Pro!

Mr. Weatherman, just because the kids are back in school doesn't mean it's autumn yet. The calendar may say September, and even though lately I've been struggling like never before with heat and exhaustion issues (I slept in again until way past noon), I'm not ready for temps to be in the lower 60's. It's bad enough that retail life has me spending half of my summer preparing for fall, back to school and halloween, but there's two more weeks until the official start of fall. VERDICT: Con!

http://www.consumersbeverages.com/, Buffalo's beer store (since 1948!) has about 7-8 selections of summery beers on sale for Buy One 6-pk, Get One 6-pk Free. Two premium sixers for a total of $8.99? Outstanding! VERDICT: Pro!

And that concludes today in this little corner of life. Time to go dust the other corners while the house is still empty. Peace and GOODNIGHT NOW!!