Who Do I Think I Am??

This one's about the have-nots.

THE PROMPT: "What things have you experienced to help build your character to what it is today?"

Good day fine people...welcome to another after-school special edition of "Who Do I Think I Am??" . Grab a snack and buckle up.

It's easy and obvious to see that things aren't like they used to be, in many different facets of life. I'm gonna touch on one. Classmates.

Before I tear into this aspect of my life, here's a little backstory. The day before I graduated high school, I moved out of the district and into a neighboring village. This was in pre-internet, pre-cell phone times. I purposely cut ties with that era of my life, save for a few people (I'm not all that communicative anyway). It was a fresh start for me...and Facebook pretty much ruined that . I've been able to reconnect on some level with a lot of close and not-so-close friends over the last few years, and it's been fun and interesting to say the least. To have fallen off a proverbial map and then put yourself back on it is a crazy ride...and to hear people say things they've heard about me over the years that I've not been a tangible part of their daily existence, well, Mark Twain said it best: "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." True story. I once ran into someone who thought I was dead. But I digress...I harbor no ill will toward anyone who shares past connections, for I believe it is the past that makes us who we are.

What is fair to say is that the landscape in institutions of learning have shifted, both in good ways and bad. You hear a word now that is becoming more prominent in many areas..."bullying". In these times of heightened social media, trends and movements gain traction much quicker, and fads come and go at what seems like an alarming rate these days when compared to how life was 10, 20 or 30 years ago.

I was never a "popular" kid growing up...more notorious than popular, I'd go out on a limb to say. People knew me from what they knew of me, not because they wanted to actually get to know me. I did random dumb shit (everyone does), and I could be an asshole my share of times (I still am, but who isn't?). But here's the low-down: I was your typical nerd. I had the big glasses. I grew up ridiculously poor, which, when coupled with a terrible fashion sense, made me stand out. And when you stand out, you're picked on. Regardless of your level on sensitivity. Regardless of who you are on the inside, or your upbringing. Kids are the ultimate judge in that respect, and once they latch onto something, it's almost unshakeable.

I won't say I was outright "bullied", but lines were definitely crossed against me as often as I crossed lines, if not more. People would tell me that I couldn't take a joke, unaware that the joke they were making was me. And when you're a kid, it's hard sometimes when you hear the same insults over and over to not take them personal and to not believe them. It breaks you down...the court of public opinion has a way of manifesting itself inside you, so much that no matter what you do or accomplish, people still only see you as the nerdy kid with the shitty sneakers and stupid jokes at the end of the day. And the next day, it's back to square one with the unavoidable nonsense that you can't help. And to complain about it would've been to admit weakness: "Oh, they're only picking on you! Lighten up!" Yeah, well, that doesn't make me any more good-lookin' in anyone else's eyes. That doesn't make me less-smarter than them, or make me get lesser grades so they don't pick on me because they're angry they didn't get better grades. That doesn't make me any less of a target for some other asshole's merry-making.

Don't get me wrong. I had my good moments. I started working out and playing sports more often. This helped. It changed some perceptions about me. I had friends, and girlfriends, and maybe a few who people looked at as being what they consider "out of my league". And that may be true, but it's because they saw the personality behind the image, the face, the preconceptions. They could look past the easy-way mantra: "If we don't understand it, we have to tear it apart." But that wasn't my normal experience.

What does this mean to me today? To have a future, you can't forget your past. I'm not afraid to be unlike everyone else. I'm not afraid to stand out, even if it means not always fitting in. I've embraced the individual within me. I had to stand up for myself for so long with few standing up next to me, and that's only made me a stronger person today. Of course, growing out of your awkwardness helps, as does maturation and a sense of humor about it. But that drive to impress anybody, while having limited resources, taught me a lot about life: Know who your friends are, trust few people, stay who you are and don't change to please anyone but yourself, and know that the ones who want to bring you down are doing it only because they're not satisfied with their own life.

Thanks for playin', folks. It's been real.

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I don't really care for this band outside of a few songs, but I can relate to this.

VITAL STATS:

Maybe it's a good time to promote this website, because it promotes a cause I support. Please take a moment to at least consider what it means. http://www.twloha.com/ They're saving people from much worse fates than I had.

It's nice to have a weekday off and have access to a vehicle so I can take care of a lot of the things I've been stressing about lately. Relief has almost washed all over me. And I'm sure it's only temproary

Can someone please explain to me what the hell "cola" is? Besides that it's marketed as "Pepsi" or "Coke"? Cuz it's just not tasty at all. Pepsi came out with "Pepsi Next", like it's some sort of hybrid between Pepsi and Diet Pepsi, when really all it is is crap in a bottle. Do this: go to Walgreens this week, buy a 20oz. bottle for $.99, get your $.99 coupon off your next purchase, and turn around and buy something tastier. Like Mountain Dew, for example. Trust me...you'll thank me for this.

This just in...RIP Dick Clark. You know, that guy that hosted American Bandstand? Or damn near every New Year's Eve special I could ever remember? Another rock of my childhood has crumbled and turned to dust.

Alright...time to grab myself a snack of my own. Got a busy afternoon of doin' nothin' at all ahead of me. Hope it's a good day for everyone...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!