The Regulator (Complete First Draft)

Chapter 40: Jaxon - Fight the Dead

He couldn’t do it. He never could. He wasn’t meant for this. Shooting guns was fine, beating up dummies with sticks and knives was fine, but he couldn’t actually bring himself to kill something. It made him sick. Andrew’s stories of killing things, his descriptions, made him sick enough. Watching Ivan and the others kill all those Walkers had pushed Jaxon to his breaking point. He couldn’t do it. He just sat there, kneeling on his legs, hands holding him up while he face the dirt, tears falling into the grass.

“Oh stop crying you big baby!” Anthony shouted. The taunt filled Jaxon with rage. Didn’t Anthony get it? Didn’t he realize just how hard it was for him to not cry at this kind of stuff, to not throw-up? To not be a baby?

“Shut up!” Jaxon screamed, looking up at Anthony. His face was red, wet, and twisted with anger. “Shut up!” Jaxon screamed again. “Shut up you big jerk!” Jaxon shouted. He couldn’t think of anything else to say, he was so upset, so angry. He just wanted Anthony too shut up. Jaxon watched as James punched Anthoyn in the arm and Ivan walked in front of Anthony, pushing him back and keeping him out of Jaxon’s sight. Jaxon’s vision began to blur as tears filled his eyes again, but he managed to see someone moving towards him.

“Go away!” Jaxon shouted at whoever it was.

“Jaxon! What’s rule two!” He heard Andrew say. He didn’t scream it, but it was forceful, almost demanding.

“I said... Go away!” Jaxon screamed again. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

“What’s rule two, Jaxon.” Andrew said, calmer this time. Jaxon took a deep breathe.

“Smile, walk tall, and keep it clean...” He said, through gritted teeth.

“What’s rule three?” Andrew asked, in the same, calm tone.

“Be passionate.” Jaxon said, this time in a much more normal fashion.

“Rule five?” Andrew asked, simply.

“This is a challenge, not a punishment.” Jaxon said. He sat up on his knees, taking his hands out of the dirt and facing Andrew as his vision cleared.

“Six?” Andrew asked, even simpler this time.

“Have goals.” Jaxon responded, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“What is your main goal right now?” Andrew asked. Jaxon took a deep breathe as the red seemed to fade from his face.

“Be stronger.” He said.

“What’s rule seven?” Andrew asked, seemingly ignoring Jaxon’s response.

“Fight the dead, fight for the living.” Jaxon responded. He wiped his face one more time, drying the remaining tears.

“Why did I bring up those rules, why did I ask what your goal was?” Andrew asked. Both he and Jaxon knew the answer.

“Cause I’m breaking all of them and failing my goal.” Jaxon responded. He felt tears well up in his eyes again, but he did not cry. Andrew nodded.

“I know this is hard. Trust me, I really do know. But you need to learn to do this. You need to be able to get over this. It’s how you survive. It’s how we survive.” Andrew said. He stood up and extended his hand to help Jaxon up. Jaxon took it, and stood up with Andrew. Jaxon looked up into Andrew’s face and Andrew smiled. the brief moment, however, was interrupted by the hissing and gnawing sound of the walker down range. Andrew briefly looked over at it, looked back at Jaxon and said, “You can do it.” Jaxon nodded, took his gun out and aimed down range. The zombie bared it’s teeth at him, and stretched it’s arms out in an attempt to grab him. Jaxon took one, long, deep breathe. He aimed, and fired. The walker slumped over. Dead.