Memories of Snow

December Genealogy: Questions I Cannot Answer

Genealogy: Write a letter or essay telling us why family history interests you, and what your goals are.
How will you record your work and what do you hope to learn?

In the later stages of Mom's Alzheimer's disease she would begin crying for no apparent reason. Sometimes, if I were careful and ask gently enough, she would tell me the reason she was crying. Most of the time, she cried because she could not remember that her parents were dead and buried in Blackwell, Oklahoma, I could not tell her they were dead because she would not believe me and it would make her angry. I would make up a story that sounded plausible, Mom always accepted my explanation, and stopped crying. However, there was one crying bout I could not stop because I could not think up a lie to comfort her.

It was a Saturday afternoon, Mom was sitting next to me on the couch when she started crying. I figured she was crying because she missed her parents and wanted to go visit them. I ask Mom what was wrong and she gave me an answer that I did not expect. Her response floored me because it was the first time I had heard about this subject. It was something my Grandma and Grandpa Newland (Mom's parents) had never discussed, at least in front of my siblings and me. Mama said she was crying because her Grandfather (she did not say which Grandfather) had left his wife for a younger woman. I could not stop Mom from crying because I could not think of anything to say that would comfort her and make the situation better.

I could not get any more information from Mama about it because after she stopped crying she could not remember the subject. I would like to know which one of my great grandfathers ran away with a younger woman. I would like why he did something like that, I can understand my grandparents not talking about it because that would have been something they never discussed in front of their grandchildren. I know that I cannot now or ever will be able to answer the questions about this subject. I also know that I do not want to leave questions that my nieces or nephews cannot answer. I am interested in family history because I want to leave as many answers for posterity as possible.