Who do I still think I am??

This one's about isolation and precious metals.

30DBC PROMPT: "You're on a train (or other similarly isolated area) - how do you pass the time? Daydream..."

What up y'all? It's another Monday; cold as hell and almost as busy, so I need to unwind a bit. Glad I don't have anything going on tomorrow so I can complain about how I've got nothin' to do but sit around and think about how the next few weeks are gonna be mentally challenging...but it's all for the greater good, right? I hope....

Interesting prompt, and it's one I've probably thought about hundreds of times throughout the course of a given day doing pretty much whatever. Which, I think, is code for "I should write down my thoughts more often, or at least put some damn batteries in my digital voice recorder, clear out the files I haven't listened to in years, and start carrying that thing around". Because of course I can't think of a single thing right now that I've daydreamed in the last few days...and if you haven't figured it out by now I'm easily distracted, mostly by my own thoughts. Does fantasizing count as daydreaming? That'd be a lot easier to talk about, but I don't feel like changing this blog's rating to GC (that's "Graphic Content", for all you non-WDC lingo spitters).

What's ironic about this prompt is that I've lived more or less by myself for most of my adult life. Add to that the fact that since I hit adulthood, the two demographics I've worked with the most have been teenagers and slightly older (than me...not in general) women. That's basically two groups where there's not a whole lot of common ground (at least on the surface)...and a lot of those situations were 90% solo work and 10% group work. That's a lot of time to one's self.

And maybe that's why I write so much, or so often, or both. It's my way of filling a void, and sort of having a conversation. There aren't a whole lot of people I actually enjoy talking to, and it's not anyone's fault but mine. I just suck at conversations. I lose focus quickly, I feel like I'm being put on the spot (even when I'm not), and I have trust and anxiety issues. So a lot of the time I'm not comfortable around people, and writing is the best way I know of to keep in touch with the outside world. It sounds selfish, but it's on my terms and I don't feel as much pressure trying to communicate. Like Ma Bell...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zT8fuO02gk.

Like I said near the top, the next few weeks will be hard, but it's nothin' I haven't gone through before. On the plus side, hopefully the Wi-Fi in the building doesn't get interrupted again...I barely had any last year when I was dealing with the initial fracture and surgery on my leg, so staying occupied on days where I really couldn't get out was more of a challenge. And honestly, there were times that the days almost felt like a blur because of pain meds and sleep meds and anti-anxiety meds.

Anyway, this isn't about throwin' me a pity party or anything...I'll have none of that. I guess what I'm sayin' is I've dealt with different forms of isolation in the past, and it's affected me all sorts of ways good and bad, but I've tried (to varying degrees of success) to make the best of it, and really that's all we can do. Even if that means letting your mind wander to places you wish it wouldn't go.

BCF PROMPT: "Silver or gold?"

I just wanna say that I've actually really enjoyed the simplicity of Shaye 's prompts recently, and I'm sad to hear that she'll be taking a hiatus from WDC activities for awhile. I hope all is well, or gets better, or turns out however you need it to, Carmela...we'll definitely all miss you and hope for your safe return whenever you're confident in that.

Now, silver or gold? Neither, really. I stopped wearing gold a long time ago...mainly because of its association with wealth and status, which I never really cared to flaunt once I attained a little of either anyway. But if I were pressed to choose one, it'd be silver...primarily because (at least in my eyes) it's a more neutral color than gold, and that makes it look better (unless all you wanna see is the shine, and if that's the case I suggest you're probably looking at the wrong person if you're hoping to catch some of that in me). Too much gold, whether it's jewelry or in an outfit, just looks tacky in my opinion. And that's coming from a kid who grew up listening to rappers in the eighties who were adorned with fat rope chains and gold teeth (long before everyone was sportin' grills).

Although who's to say that if I ever become independently wealthy beyond my needs I wouldn't indulge myself in drapin' a 20" long, 1" thick rope around my neck once all the rest of my basic needs were met? Even if only to bust on rare occasions, primarily as a joke? But that's a big "What if...", and I'd probably move myself further into isolation once I bought it because I'd be paranoid that A) someone would try to steal it straight up off me; or B) someone would think it was fake and accuse me of some kind of fraudulent manner of thinking. Either reason would be a good example of not owning said item at all, but I'd probably be more pissed about the second one. Theft happens and you learn to accept that some people are gonna want what they normally can't get through legal measures; the fact that someone would go out of their way to criticize your choices and how they see you reflected in them cuts a lot deeper than material loss. And wow have I really started to overthink a three word prompt.

So yeah, silver if those were my only options besides neither, but neither because chances are I'll always think of something better I could dropping that kind of money on (and I'm assuming we're not talkin' about trashy suburban mall kiosk "metals" and gold-on-a-roll stuff).

MUSICAL BREAK!!

I'm picky about going to concerts. I either really have to love the headliner, or I have to kinda like at least two of the opening acts enough to justify the price of admission. And I don't care for Linkin Park or 30 Seconds To Mars (who I actually saw opening up a festival gig many years back and wasn't impressed even though Jared Leto climbed the stage's scaffolding from one side to the other) as much to shell out big bucks to see AFI play for the first half hour and then kinda not care about the rest of the night...but I'd pay a little less to see AFI headline with a couple bands I might've never heard of prior to the show's announcement. So no, I probably won't be going to the Linkin Park/30 Seconds To Mars/AFI shows in my area this summer.

THE DAILY BOX SCORE:

So Arnold Schwarzenegger won't go away. Apparently he's got another big money, special effects, shoot 'em up style movie coming out next month (you can watch the trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeHpSdQSH0c) and as usual, it looks like something I wouldn't be interested in. I think that if you're gonna call a movie "Sabotage", it better look more like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE. I'd heard rumors that Spike Jonze was working on a similar project, but the untimely passing of MCA kinda wiped out the whole thing, and that's really unfortunate.

I'm gonna run the risk of the last spots being sold out by the time I hit "Save Entry" this evening, but if you haven't done so yet go over to blainecindy's Blog City Fair and get you a square on their giant quilt. Find it here: "Invalid Item"  and Linked 'Note' no longer available. (and you don't have to be a Blog City resident to add your name to the quilt).

A childhood hero (and ex-quarterback of my beloved four-time AFC Champion Buffalo Bills), Jim Kelly, recently headed to NYC for surgery after he was diagnosed with an aggressive return of his oral cancer. Word is he's been in pretty rough shape lately...hopefully he'll pull through this latest in a series of medical battles he's dealt with since his retirement in1997. Great article here for any fan of the game: http://www.thekickisgood.com/?p=6946. Articles like that, especially during tough times, make me glad I grew up when I did with a QB like Kelly. I've seen some comments posted on articles about how his situation is "his fault" and it's "his karma" in part because he was cocky and arrogant before and during his time as a player, and how it's not right that he's getting media coverage because he can afford special treatment because he made a lot of money...it sickens me, really, that some people have the nerve to not share any bit of compassion for what him and his family are going through (and have been through...I won't list it all here, but this article does a tremendous job of bringing to light what a post-NFL career can look like: http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10549870/former-buffalo-bills-quarterback-jim-...).

And finally, I'll admit I had plenty of time to daydream when I was at the doctor's office this morning for my pre-op physical (which is a better way of saying I got there 20 minutes early, didn't see the nurse until 20 minutes after my scheduled appointment time, and doctor himself didn't actually come in until 20 more minutes had gone by. Which, in my estimation, meant about 55 minutes of fantasizing daydreaming about the gorgeous but very pregnant receptionist in between glances at the TV (Steve Harvey's funny at times, but I think he only owns three different facial expressions...hence me not complaining much about my wait time). Anyway, doc thinks I'm fairly healthy, wants me off the one pain reliever I take (which means the rest of the week ought to be interesting), and I'll be on crutches and back in my boot for at least two weeks (which sounds a lot better than the months I was using those same implements last time). The waiting between now and next Tuesday, as clichè as it sounds, is gonna be the hardest part in all of this...or at least until I start goin' stir crazy and can't really go anywhere or do much about it. All I can do is hope that eventually this finally returns my leg to as close to normal as possible.

That's all I've got for tonight folks...I woulda had this up a little earlier but someone's been screwin' with the internet around here again. Just when I think everything's goin' smooth, somethin' else seems to happen. Oh well...looks like it's fixed (again)...but it sucks havin' to chase people down for passwords and all that. Whatever. Peace, like the flutter of wings, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!