Memories of Snow

Generosity and Other Thoughts

What is Prosperity?
Generosity and Other Thoughts

"Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity..."
Bahá’u’lláh, Gleanings from the Writing of Bahá’u’lláh, CXXX

I look at the scripture verse. I read the scripture verse. I ask "How can I be generous when I am not prosperous?" What do I have to give to others who have less then I have? Is there anyone who has less then myself? I have a roof over my head. I have food on the table. I have a car. Sometimes I need gas for the car, but I always get money for the gas when I need it. Lately I have been able to earn enough to purchase some much needed items that I cannot us my SNAP card for.

I am 68 years old. I am in fair to poor health. I need some new clothes, well maybe not new clothes because I can go to places that give clothes away. I will have to do that sometime in April because I need some more dresses or long skirts. I don't want short skirts because I do not like people to see my legs and wearing slacks is difficult because I have to use disposable underwear. Does this have anything to do with generosity?

Generosity is more then just giving people things. Generosity is giving time, friendship, or a listening ear. It is smiling at a stranger. It is avoiding giving another driver the finger when that driver does something stupid or cuts you off. It is complimenting people. It is sharing your faith. It is being nice to people who are not nice. It is not falling for every sob story someone gives you.

Generosity is sharing your faith. It is listening to someone else share their faith with you. It is putting your entire trust in God and knowing that when something is needed you will receive it. Generosity is more then simply sharing when you are wealthy or prosperous. I do not know a lot of prosperous people. I know poor people. People who have very little material wealth, but they are prosperous in spiritual wealth. They are generous and give of themselves. They are generous and give of what they have to give.

I always wanted to be wealthy. I always wanted to have a lot of money because I thought I could help people with it. I am have no material wealth. I do not have a lot of money. It is difficult for me to make ends meet. I would be happy if the ends could just see each other. I do not have material wealth. I have spiritual wealth or at least I hope I have spiritual wealth. I have Baha'u'llah. I have the Glory of God. I am struggling for everything. Sometimes I even struggle with my faith because I acquired the habit of putting thing off.

I cannot afford to put anything off any more because I know that eventually I will die. Eventually I will pass into the next world. What do I have to take with me? Have I acquire the spiritual wings my soul will need to ascend through the world of God? I can no longer afford to put things off, but time seems to go so fast that I barely (I hope that is spelled right) have time to do anything. I wonder if it would help to set a schedule and limit my time when it comes to writing.

I have attempted to set a schedule before, but it has never worked. I have attempted setting priorities without success. Maybe I cannot deal well with schedules. I get so focused on doing one thing that I do not want to stop until I am finished. I have to... I am not sure what I was going to say here because it slipped my mind.

I also get distracted and have to stop. Once I get distracted I do not want to go back to what I was doing. I need to get up and walk more because exercise would help. I started walking five minutes between the door and the electric range while reciting a prayer. De suggested that I walk out side for ten minutes and that would be nice, but I have to watch how many disposable undergarments I use each day. I have to have enough on hand so that I can wear them when I go to a store. I do not have enough in my bank account to get very many more packages this month so what I have will have to last.

I wonder if that is an excuse to prevent myself from walking outside. Does that attitude show lack of trust in God? I know this is a test and I suspect that I am failing it. I am so tired of struggling for everything. I know that I cannot get help from anyone except Faye. She is the only one in this family who can help me with money. I know that if I ask either of my brothers they will say no and one of them will give me a lecture. Sometimes I feel so alone, but at other times I do not want to associate with people.

I think I will close this now because it is becoming a rant. I did not want this to be a rant when I begin writing. My goals was to write about either prosperity or generosity and I have gotten off the subject. I got up to put on some pasta to cook so that I can have that tomorrow and I lost my train of thought so I am going to close this now.