October PrepMo 2015

Minor #1 Profile

My name is Oscar Clarence Danbury, I’m 36 years old and I’ve had four wives (and I am currently on wife number five) and have six children. I’m 6’3” tall with dark brown hair and green eyes. I’m told I look a lot like my great great grandfather, Francis Danbury, though it’s usually in expressions. I am not employed, though why should I be when I have a wonderful allowance that lets me do whatever I want? I have a freedom that would be almost criminal if I didn’t take advantage of it. Some believe that I play at marriage, pretending to be a husband and a father until something better comes along and I say they’re wrong. What is wrong with trying to find the right wife? I never play at being a father and I love all of my children with a fierceness that often leaves me terrified.
I think I might finally settle down with my current wife, Lauren. There’s something about her that I think I’ve tried to find in my other wives (maybe even as far back as Kayla in University) and just could never find. Sure, she’s 11 years younger than me, what is wrong with that? Sure, she’s extremely attractive and works as a model for some huge agency. I consider them pluses as usually I’ve come to realize that they were the only things I enjoyed in my other wives. Lauren is exceptionally smart and actually plans to teach at some college or university, teaching science. You might ask why someone who could teach science at a college or university be a model instead. I tell you why not? She wants girls to realize they can be both beautiful and smart and use what fame she gets as a model in that way. Smart, eh?
Some say that I am too smart for my own good and never use it for anything worthwhile. Those people would be right. I graduated valedictorian of my class at Bryce Lutheran School for boys in some shithole town in Vermont and I would graduate summa cum laude at Yale, with a 4.0 GPA in my Business major. Look at my sorry ass now, just wasting my allowance on liquor, women, poker, luxurious trips to the Caribbean or Europe at a whim and I only play at being a businessman when my father or brother need me to. I do spoil my kids rotten and I often splurge on trips or cars (how are two of my children driving already?), clothes or even food in the case with Kayla, a few times…
I am not a monster as so many claim, though many might say useless and in that case…there might ring some truth in that. With Lauren though…
There are also those that try often to compare me to my father and even some go so far as to compare me to my grandfather as a way to insult me. My grandfather was and has still (rest his soul) been used as the epitome of everything a man is and should be. My father, they say, made a mistake, but who could blame him after how he felt after the death of his wife? He settled and did his duty, did he not? Why, Oscar, can you not do your duty? In all of my life, I saw duty as many men see marriage, the ole’ ball and chain. In the Danbury family all there is is duty. f*** duty.
Of course, now that I have Lauren…I can almost understand. Who the hell knew I’d be thirty-six years old before I’d realize what I was going to do with my life and be a grown ass man.