GoT Writings

Undying - Beulah

I couldn’t think. What was the worst thing that could happen to me? My mind was blank. Beulah just glared at me and I could not think of anything to say or do. And then it happened.
My inane response to bad thing is to smile and say “How are you?” Most people would smile back and say “fine” or maybe not smile and say “fine.”
Beulah was not having a good day and my smile and comment was having the reverse effect. Instead of smiling at me, she tugged on her skirt to pull it some infinitesimal measurement back into place. Then she flipped her hair a bit and stomped off, not just a heel toe clip, but literally planting each step solidly on the sidewalk one in front of the other as she moved off.
As soon as she left, I knew I would have bad luck, and my theory was that it would deal with my hair. I don’t know what gave me that thought, it just came to me right before she stomped off.
This city had so many reflective surfaces. I couldn’t walk up to a building without seeing myself in a mirror like image. The windows were just as bad, shooting a ghost like image back at me as I moved along faster and faster to outpace the reflections. I couldn’t walk by the fountain without seeing my face break into ripples as someone threw a penny with a wish on their lips. Yet, it could not hurt. Maybe I should have limited it to just a penny, but I had a handful of coin and I was tossing them in all the way around making the same wish over and over: “Keep the bad luck away.”
That’s when it hit me that I was very late to get back to my job at the Connor & Associates.
I don’t remember how I first heard of the curse of Beulah Corbin, just that it happened when I was in my junior associate at the law firm of Miller, Davis & Krump. I could not figure out why we were forever suing people for her, but the partners insisted that we take all of her demands seriously. I quit after two years. I don’t know what Beulah had over the partners in that law firm, but it must have been big. That’s when people noticed that bad things happened to everyone who crossed her. Whatever they did fed her cursing abilities. And I crossed her. How? I don’t know.
I was becoming very creative in how I avoided my reflection. I could angle the monitor just right to avoid seeing my reflection, I could stand to the side of the sink when washing up, and I could be very interested in checking for messages when riding the elevator (and that was hard to do because all the women used the doors to fix their hair or clothes when riding up and down).
I just needed to sleep. I just need some fun. Jim had a party going on, I could just slip in and no one would notice, or so I thought. Ever notice how life sometimes plays out as a bad B-rate movie? That’s the way it was with me. I think Beulah gave me some kind of Wheel of Torture and just kept spinning it.
I was at the party and soon had an entourage. I was a good looking man, clean cut, well dressed, I had attention, but usually not this much. Do you remember those B-rate pictures where some clown walks into an outstretched arm? Do you remember how fixing a problem just makes it worse? That’s about how it went down.
I was telling my Beulah story and, not being able to talk without some expressive use of my hands, I amped it up by throwing my arms straight out. That’s when I caught my boss full in the face.
“I am so sorry, sir. Let me go get you a cold cloth.” The bathroom would be a good place to hide. I got in there long enough to close and lock the door, but turning around, I caught the horror that awaited me. I could see this clown mimicking my movements, tugging at the Bozo the Clown hair, pushing at the cheeks, touching the eyes, pulling on the lip….Beulah got me good.
I started rummaging. “Jim, where do you keep your shaving stuff? Come on man! Where do you keep it? Ah, here they are? What the heck do you need those for? We’re going to have to have a long talk, you and I – but after I get this head shaved.”
As I looked at my reflection and admitted that bald was better than freak show, “No worries, I have all weekend to get a toupee.” But first, I have to get rid of this hair. And the throne awaits. I deposit it in the bowl and flush. I hear the glug glug glug and know I am in trouble. “Come on, man, you must have unclogged a toilet, where’s the plunger? Jim, you and I are going to have to have a long talk.”
In the meantime, I have to get out of here before someone else needs to use the facilities. The girlfriends drilled it into me to close the lid, so I did remember to do that. It’ probably the only thing that got me halfway to my get-away before being stopped by party goers who wanted me to stick around. I did not think things could get much worse until I saw her enter the room. By the look on Jim’s face, I could tell she was not invited.
Should I stay or should I go? When Beulah is in the room, things could get interesting.

[w.c. 972]