GoT Writings

B&W Rainbow Prompt 46, W.C. 621

Rainbow Prompt 46. Hidden scars.
[w.c. 621]
Michelle awoke with her head still throbbing. The after effects of screaming at her mother and threatening to put her in jail. Michelle was pretty good about hiding the scars of her mother’s negligence and abuse, but there was still that pull to be loved and appreciated by a woman who did not deserve her love or respect.
Why did she crawl after a crumb of interest from a woman who divorced her father and then put her in grandma and grandpa’s care so that she could pursue a modeling career for the likes of Hugh Hefner. It was disgusting.
Mother made some attempt at parenting when Michelle was in kindergarten, just long enough to remarry and redivorce dad. The crazy bitch.
Back to the other pair of grandparents. Everything was going fine until she fell off the wall and hit her head on the pavement. Things may have turned okay except if the mother stayed out of the picture for good and all. But she didn’t. She would float in and out. When the infant years passed, and Elaine proved to be a very poor example of a mother, the grandparents stepped in. Then Kindergarten happened. Elaine tried taking her daughter again, but after a year, the grandparents had to step in again.
Then the fall happened. Somewhere in her 12th year, Michelle fell off a wall and hit her head on the pavement. Instead of going to the hospital for treatment, she hid it because she was doing something she should not have been doing. In floats Elaine to take her daughter back.
Elaine lived a life that exposed her daughter to some pretty rough gang members. They did not harm her, but she saw stuff no kid should have to see.
There is one thing Michelle learned from running with the bad boys. She was fearless. She made her own way, depending on no one. Just like her mother, she used sex as something you did, not a bond to be treasured. Just like her mother, she married and divorced two times and had one child.
It was when her son was five years old that she made the connection that she would no longer mirror her mother. Despite not being in her life for 22 out of her 28 years, she allowed her mother to babysit. When Michelle came back, her mom and her witchy friends were encircled around her boy smoking marijuana and drinking. Michelle lost it. “Are you out of your mind? You’re going to jail, you’re going to jail, you’re going to jail” all around the circle. And that was the last time Elaine spent any time with her grandson. Every once in a while she would hold out a lure of a house that he could live in and would be his inheritance, but no one trusted her to believe it.
Do those hidden scars ever heal? That’s why they are called scars. Just like Michelle, most people will seek a mother’s love and affection. Or something close to it. Michelle hid hers under layers of buying things for friends, and being surprised when the affection was not returned and often betrayal was the by-product. 30 years have passed since the mother exposed her son to the dangerous smoke. She still tries to maintain contact to the limited degree her narcissistic manner allows. Her latest entry into the mommy of the year was to send Michelle an email recommending how to be a good parent. Michelle’s response: Does it have a section on buying cocaine for you 13 year old so she will learn about it at home instead of in the street. There was no reply. The scars are starting to show.




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