A Piece Of My Heart

She's who I look up to

Write about the person that has had the biggest impact on your life.

Oooh, there are several people I could name for this prompt. There's my parents of course, my professors in school, my first boss (who is now a very dear friend), my four-legged family, my grandparents. I think the person I'm going to pick though is someone I've known all her life. My sister.

She was born when I was 5 years old. She was very small when we moved to Hawaii, and I remember that trip vividly because it was only my mother, sister, and I traveling alone. It must have been my first experience with being rushed and nearly being late for our flight, and I realize now that looking back on that trip, it must have sparked my own fear of being late and hyper-awareness of time. Going through security, my mom had to carry my baby sister and they got pulled aside for the full pat-down/detector wand treatment. Like a mother with a baby would be a threat on an airplane, come on... Anyway, after it was over, I had to quickly put on my grown-up pants (being the 7 year old I was) and carry our bags while running after my mother carrying my sister so we wouldn't miss the plane. That's my first real vivid memory of my baby sister.

Growing up on a farm in Hawaii was liberating in many ways. One profound way was that we didn't have any neighbors, to there was never any worry about my sister and I playing alone in the fields for hours and hours. We built forts, hid in the guinea grass, and had a childhood I think many kids nowadays lack. And the fact that my baby sis was naked for most of our play was of no consequence to me. We had zero worries in the world. We have this great picture now of my sister playing with the cows in their drinking trough (really just a kiddie pool) wearing nothing but her birthday suit (and she was 8 or 9 at the time probably).

When she was a little older, we played raucously on the trampoline. Once while we were blowing off steam before heading to the airport, we decided on a foolish plan. I, being the older and heaver sister, would double bounce her as high as she would go on and we would see if she could see over the net. And damn, she flew! And then ... well ... then she landed directly on her arm and broke her wrist. Four hours before we were supposed to get on a plane. This was the start of me seeing just how strong she really was. She endured the entire travel day from Hawaii to MN (10 hours) with nothing by a splint.

I had always been jealous of her artistic abilities. She was a musician, a painter, and a sketcher with abilities far beyond anything I could ever do. She filled all the walls of her room with her original artwork, and was generous with her gift as well, making art for family members. This progressed eventually to giving Henna tattoos, where she grew up quickly hustling tips at hotel pools and beaches. This was a time where she grew up quickly - her form filled out, and she became taller with more pronounced hips and lips - so even though she was only 15, 16, she played up being 18 and flirting with drunk vacationers for hundreds of dollars in tips per hour. Needless to say, my reserved self was beyond jealous.

Eventually, she began designing her own tattoos, and when she was old enough (16 in HI with parent's consent), she bought them for herself. Each one was large, about the size of my hand with all the fingers splayed out, but each meant something to her and I believe were symbols of her past and ongoing struggles. She now has five in total. Her self expression and identity is inspiring and infectious. Though mild-mannered and shy in most situations, her body is her canvas of expression and she takes pride in that.

I will not describe the deeply personal challenges she has faced, but she has always been an inspiration to me for how strong and courageous she has always been from such a young age. She's found the strength to remain confident in herself through an eating disorder and harassment for her gender identity. I am so proud to have her as a sister and even though she is younger, she is someone I look up to every day.