Confessions of a Cleaning Lady

The ubiquitous problem of selfishness

Since Lou's business has grown, so has the diversity of people I work with. Don't get me wrong, I love them all. Two of them are long time friends, one is a new friend, so I get to work with people I really like.

One of those long time friends and I work together once a week, and I feel like a s***ty friend when I say I don't like working with her.

Anyone who's ever worked in a job where they weren't alone knows there's got to be that one person who kinda doesn't pull their weight. Or at the very least is kinda lazy about it. In my case, it's little things, leaving stuff undone that she could very easily do on her way to another task. Good examples are things like coming to get the trash bag so she can empty the trash from the small trashcans around the house instead of leaving said small trashcans out for me to empty. She could carry the cleaning bag she's not using to the next room where she knows it'll be used as she goes there instead of leaving it for me to carry because she doesn't need anything from it. Stuff like that.

It's all quite petty, because I can be quite a petty person. That stuff isn't really life or death, and this person (I'll call her Beth, because Beth is the universal name for that sort of thing) is a kind and giving person. I know because our kids have grown up together, and we've spent a lot of time together. I can't help but think these tiny things that she probably isn't even aware of point to a true personality trait.

I know her to be pretty shrewd in a few different categories. She's not one to volunteer hosting gatherings, for one, despite the fact that she's got an enormous yard and a huge house. Now if someone else (usually me) mentions wanting to get together she'll be the first to confirm repeatedly that it's happening at YOUR house. (She loves a good party) If it ain't happening because of the house situation, she won't come to the rescue and offer her own house, or when she does go to one of our houses she'll bring only enough food and/or booze for herself.

Now none of this is a crime, obviously, nor is it indicative of a personality problem. I thought it was just me at first until people started asking "She wants a party so bad, how come Beth doesn't invite everyone over to her house??" That was a signal that I wasn't the only one.

If you needed her to work for you, or pick up some slack because you've got something to take care of, there's no depending on her. She does exactly what she's expected to do- no more, no less. Her life is very planned around her own comfort levels.

Maybe I'm a little envious of her ability to say no. She can say no to stuff like a champ, and I have a no deficiency.

It leads me to think that she is just that tiny sliver of selfish, though. I don't know too many people who will put themselves first so unabashedly as she does.

It makes me think back to other's I've worked with who just don't pull their weight. Or at least pull it as minimally as possible and have no intention of chipping in in a pinch. I have a pretty visceral reaction to that sort of thing. I find it difficult to control my temper over it.

It happened today, and I found myself visibly agitated. Again, not a life or death circumstance, but just enough of a situation to make me annoyed with her. I felt some shame over that, but there it is. I'm being honest, and in that moment (and pretty much most moments) I labeled her as selfish and spoiled.

I've never lived with her, but I've heard remarks from her family that point to that hunch, so I've got to be right, right?

Also, she's obsessed with taking pictures of herself and can't resist a mirror. So there, I'm totally right. I get the prize for being world's best human.

-TPB