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As we speak, jealous Time flees.Seize the day, believing as little as possible in the next |
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Everyday I try to find something to reflect on. For whatever reason I have been reflecting on the bitchiness that surrounds me. There are truely some very disgruntled people out there. This is my first real post on my blog so let me just say a few things about myself first before I continue. I come from a line of very unhappy and closeminded people. At some point during my youth I moved to a racist small town where I was considered inferior and thus started the whole thought process that continues to this day where I try as hard as possible not to follow the examples of both my upbringing and also my earlier peers. I used to be quite confused but have since found an inner peace and also people in my life who I look up to. Anyway, I still have to work on my annoyance with disgruntled folk. I can pick up the emotions of those around me and thus prefer not to be around angry people as a rule because I do not want to be angry, or sad or depressed... etc. It is too bad because I used to be one of these very people. I don't know how to help them... not everyone can just decide one day to be happy (like myself) and have it work. Ok yes so I do get pissed every once and a while no one is perfect. But there are things that cannot be helped or doesn't concern some people and they get enraged. My mother is a good example. She can work herself into a frenzy to save my soul although it is not her soul to save but mine and I think that it is just fine. I can't tell her this anymore cause it causes too much unbearable pain for me to have to hear how I am going to hell in a handbag. At least I am happy now. The way she goes on it really does sound like I am a psyco murderer that belongs in the State Penn. I don't let it get to me anymore though. If this is what she wants to occupy her mind with that is fine by me. I will not be intrusive to her thoughts and/or try to change the way she thinks. It is not my job to bring people over to my side of thinking... just totally not who I am at all. So about these disgruntled people. It is not as though I dislike any of them at all... It is just that I don't understand why people are just SO angry. I also can't understand people that are paralyzed by fear either but that is another story. I can understand melencholy though. And when I mean angry I don't mean situational anger but it is almost like the driving force that surrounds them like a dark cloud. If they are not angry they are not human. I like most of these people because I can still see that they are good and decent, but I feel as if they feel that life is handing them the shitty end of the stick when there are many out there that have it worse and still smile. My motto is that I can be angry about something and I try to solve the issue by whatever means I am able. If I am not able I might as well just deal with it cause it ain't gettin any better and move on. Maybe my life has been disapointing and shitty, I will still make it through the day with a calm and peaceful smile, and I will always look on the bright side of life... Oh dear lord I guess that makes me an optimist! |
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