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Wed, Oct 22, 2025

11:04pm EDT

Members: 752

Guests: 26,221

Total Online: 26,973

Perpetual Ruminations

by tj says Boris sent me

Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1921220

My thoughts released; a mind set free

These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations.

Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free.

Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written.

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Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

tj says Boris sent me

about 4 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

Kåre เลียม Enga

I'm also having chewing issues; it's like my jaws partially lock, and it's painful to chew until they break loose. There's nothing wrong other than a side effect of chemo, and it lessens as I drift further away from the infusions. Another reason why I'm hoping I can stop chemo, the last infusion left me unable to chew anything solid for a week.

Ned

I was surprised he took the time to talk, most doctors wouldn't. Yes, it was nice to enjoy cake and ice cream, but the neuropathy still makes contact with anything cold feel like pins and needles. It's making our current temperatures difficult for me; I have to bundle up like it's the dead of winter.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

I bring protein bars/snacks. This time it was a brownie bar and some Quest nacho chips.

🦉 Owl-oween

Yes, they are all very nice. Yesterday, instead of dealing with them over the phone, I went to the district center in Fargo, since I was there anyway. It's still the same; you get passed from person to person.

Yes, I was able to swallow better as soon as I was out of the procedure, even though my throat was a bit sore from the scope and being stretched. It's nice to be able to eat again, but I was warned that within a week or two, it could start to close up again. I may have to have it stretched a couple more times; it's a pretty simple procedure that I don't mind going through.

ᗷαᛠᛠy~ᗷθθҽyҽʐ

I really enjoyed the cake and ice cream after a long day, despite the ice cream being a bit cold for me. I've been doing my best to stay optimistic through all of this, but some days are more difficult.

1 Like

ᗷαᛠᛠy~ᗷθθҽyҽʐ

about 9 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

So nice you could have cake and icecream. You sound optimistic.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

about 14 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

I'm curious what kinds of snacks you brought along. (I shouldn't be reading this sort of thing before I eat.)

Ned

about 14 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

How fortunate to run into the surgeon and have the opportunity to discuss your concerns ahead of the procedure.

The badge thing can feel slightly coercive but it can also inspire us to keep writing and be involved.

I like how you ended with the cake and ice cream. It's always good to treat yourself!

Kåre เลียม Enga

about 14 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

I have chewing issues... which is a mild "ailment" but it's hard to eat when it's such a chore. Eating is essential. So is drinking liquids. I dehydrate in Thailand. I'm doing okay.

I had this image of a coiled spring inserted to provide stretching. My mind is a strange place I visit occasionally.

Medical procedures would be less terrifying if doctors/nurses/patients communicated better... and more often... imho.

1 Like

🦉 Owl-oween

about 16 hours ago
In response to "Back on Track"

Anyone who has dealt with the VA knows that nothing is quick with them...Yup! Waiting on the phone is the worst. Seems like Hubby is passed from one extension to another and another, with waiting in between. But everyone is always so nice.

Hopefully, you'll be able to swallow better now.

1 Like

tj says Boris sent me

a day ago
In response to "A Good Day"

(user:grcubby} no, it was at an Air Force Base I was stationed at. Same story, different location; the contamination was from the fire extinguishing agent they used.

🦉 Owl-oween

a day ago
In response to "A Good Day"

Toxic water at Camp LeJeune, by chance?

1 Like

WakeUpAndLive~gummy worms BOO

Oct 19, 2025 at 8:44pm
In response to "Change Of Plans"

What hell, that chemo. I always knew it would be. I had my sole operation more than a year back. I am cancerfree as they say. My next colonoscopy will be in December as part of the 5-year monitoring. If I have to do chemo at any stage I will refuse. That will be my take now, of course that may change when the moment is there. I think you did the right thing. And you are looking for all the alternative options now. I hope they come up with solid answers to proceed. I wish you strenght and good luck!

1 Like

GrueSum1

Oct 19, 2025 at 8:06pm
In response to "Change Of Plans"

tj says Boris sent me

I feel for you, I really do. I've not had issues like the ones you're having. I'm no doctor, we all know that. There's just so much I don't understand about Cancer. When I had my second bone marrow biopsy (I thank the Good Lord that he knocks me out for those), I thought there would be one of two destinations for me. One option: Be sent to a Chicago hospital to have my blood sampled and 'washed', then put into a bubble (think of the movie, The Boy In The Plastic Bubble), receiving a massive dose of Chemo to kill off my entire immune system, having my 'washed' blood (that would remove all Cancerous cells from it) put back in me and remain in that bubble until my immune system restarted itself. Three weeks minimum, maybe a month or more. The other option was that the sample would reveal I was in remission. The Bone Marrow Biopsy showed that the Cancerous Cells were less than 3% (down from 40-50% in 6 months!), I was placed in Remission. The only Chemo I've had is taking the oral Medication Revlimid, and the weekly shot of Velcade, before I was placed in Remission.

What I'm slowly getting around to, is I don't understand why Revlimid can't be prescribed for you also. Yes, it's very expensive, I've paid less than $200 for it so far. Thank God, because even the generic brand (Lenalidomide) is more than $5000 a month!

Like I said, I'm not a doctor, there's just so much I don't understand about Cancer, and how it's fought. I feel for you Buddy, I really do. I can't imagine receiving Infusions as well as any other Chemo than the Revlimid. Take Care of yourself. I will say follow the doctor's advice on the treatment plan, but don't be afraid to ask those uncomfortable questions. Doctors are like us, they're human. Never forget that.

1 Like

#1288. Dazed and Confused
ID #1099885 entered on October 22, 2025 at 7:24pm

#1287. Back on Track
ID #1099845 entered on October 22, 2025 at 6:52am

#1286. A Good Day
ID #1099748 entered on October 20, 2025 at 10:35pm

#1285. Change Of Plans
ID #1099658 entered on October 19, 2025 at 6:34pm

#1284. Friday
ID #1099503 entered on October 17, 2025 at 6:42pm

#1283. My Plan
ID #1099420 entered on October 16, 2025 at 1:21pm

#1282. Another Look
ID #1099356 entered on October 15, 2025 at 1:59pm

#1281. Two Down, Two to Go.
ID #1099322 entered on October 14, 2025 at 8:17pm

#1280. I Know Better, So Why Did I Do It?
ID #1099254 entered on October 13, 2025 at 8:45pm

#1279. Buncoed Out Of My Beef!
ID #1099173 entered on October 12, 2025 at 4:11pm

#1278. Round Two of Four on Monday; Two Down, Two to Go
ID #1099113 entered on October 11, 2025 at 5:05pm

#1277. Five Down, Three to Go
ID #1099025 entered on October 10, 2025 at 6:31am

#1276. Eighth Day Update
ID #1098550 entered on October 3, 2025 at 1:11pm

#1275. Doing Well
ID #1098053 entered on September 25, 2025 at 8:50pm

#1274. Not Six Days
ID #1097804 entered on September 21, 2025 at 6:42pm

#1273. Not Three Days
ID #1097433 entered on September 15, 2025 at 4:41pm

#1272. Gloomy
ID #1097236 entered on September 12, 2025 at 4:36pm

#1271. A Good Day
ID #1097147 entered on September 11, 2025 at 7:49pm

#1270. One Week Out
ID #1097081 entered on September 10, 2025 at 7:52pm

#1269. The Challenge
ID #1096963 entered on September 8, 2025 at 7:33pm

#1268. My Bed
ID #1096878 entered on September 7, 2025 at 4:09pm

#1267. Same Stuff, Different Day.
ID #1096803 entered on September 6, 2025 at 6:13pm

#1266. Time and Patients
ID #1096680 entered on September 5, 2025 at 4:59am

#1265. Esophagectomy
ID #1096652 entered on September 4, 2025 at 7:13pm

#1264. Update on TJ
ID #1095790 entered on August 23, 2025 at 9:22am

#1263. Update on TJ
ID #1095791 entered on August 23, 2025 at 9:22am

#1262. Update on TJ
ID #1095792 entered on August 23, 2025 at 9:22am

#1261. Round Four
ID #1095661 entered on August 20, 2025 at 11:18pm

#1260. A Tired & Foggy Day
ID #1093618 entered on July 17, 2025 at 9:36pm

#1259. Biopsy Results
ID #1093551 entered on July 16, 2025 at 3:49pm

#1258. Pushing On
ID #1093497 entered on July 15, 2025 at 5:23pm

#1257. Go Fund Me
ID #1093301 entered on July 12, 2025 at 3:49pm

#1256. Round Four on Monday
ID #1093299 entered on July 12, 2025 at 3:16pm

#1255. Hotter Than a Firecracker
ID #1092812 entered on July 4, 2025 at 8:07pm

#1254. A Slow Day
ID #1092755 entered on July 3, 2025 at 10:46pm

#1253. Round Three and I'm Still in The Lead
ID #1092681 entered on July 2, 2025 at 4:01pm

#1252. Round Three!
ID #1092523 entered on June 29, 2025 at 11:24pm

#1251. Eight Days? No Way!
ID #1092451 entered on June 28, 2025 at 10:33pm

#1250. Summer's Here
ID #1091897 entered on June 20, 2025 at 6:19pm

#1249. Early Start
ID #1091801 entered on June 19, 2025 at 7:59am

#1248. Not A Bad Day
ID #1091781 entered on June 18, 2025 at 7:46pm

#1247. Number Two
ID #1091641 entered on June 16, 2025 at 8:13pm

#1246. Round Two.
ID #1091560 entered on June 15, 2025 at 5:31pm

#1245. The Air That I Breath
ID #1090703 entered on June 4, 2025 at 3:41pm

#1244. Session One, Complete
ID #1090593 entered on June 3, 2025 at 5:45pm

#1243. Last Spot to Check
ID #1090276 entered on May 30, 2025 at 8:56am

#1242. End Of The Line
ID #1090172 entered on May 28, 2025 at 8:04pm

#1241. A Nice Day
ID #1089889 entered on May 23, 2025 at 10:10pm

#1240. Hey Sunshine, I Missed You.
ID #1089818 entered on May 22, 2025 at 5:55pm

#1239. Ow, Man!
ID #1089751 entered on May 21, 2025 at 4:49pm

#1238. Weathering the Storm
ID #1089690 entered on May 20, 2025 at 4:11pm

#1237. The Waiting
ID #1089452 entered on May 16, 2025 at 5:52pm

#1236. A Few Days
ID #1089188 entered on May 12, 2025 at 5:27pm

#1235. The Strive for Five
ID #1088783 entered on May 5, 2025 at 7:45pm

#1234. You're Late!
ID #1088734 entered on May 4, 2025 at 10:32pm

#1233. Got My Head on Straight
ID #1088641 entered on May 3, 2025 at 7:39pm

#1232. Where's My Head
ID #1088531 entered on May 2, 2025 at 7:04pm

#1231. Anesthesia Blues
ID #1088479 entered on May 1, 2025 at 7:01pm

#1230. Tomorrow
ID #1088421 entered on April 30, 2025 at 5:09pm

#1229. After Two Weeks, Now It's a Rush
ID #1088346 entered on April 29, 2025 at 3:49pm

#1228. Fresh Start
ID #1088294 entered on April 28, 2025 at 2:32pm

#1227. The End Is Near
ID #1088022 entered on April 25, 2025 at 10:06pm

#1226. Slow Flowing Stream.
ID #1087936 entered on April 24, 2025 at 7:12pm

#1225. Internet Interrupted
ID #1087878 entered on April 23, 2025 at 8:29pm

#1224. And The Thunder Rolls
ID #1087820 entered on April 22, 2025 at 8:09pm

#1223. Beautiful Spring Day
ID #1087736 entered on April 21, 2025 at 8:00pm

#1222. Happy Easter
ID #1087671 entered on April 20, 2025 at 6:14pm

#1221. It's Nice
ID #1087565 entered on April 19, 2025 at 3:30pm

#1220. Good, Bad, Ugly
ID #1087510 entered on April 18, 2025 at 9:27pm

#1219. Most Every Time
ID #1087425 entered on April 17, 2025 at 1:19pm

#1218. Tortured
ID #1087377 entered on April 16, 2025 at 4:49pm

#1217. The Flash
ID #1087316 entered on April 15, 2025 at 2:46pm

#1216. Sprinter Blues
ID #1087250 entered on April 14, 2025 at 4:07pm

#1215. What It Is
ID #1087206 entered on April 13, 2025 at 9:47pm

#1214. Parking It.
ID #1087124 entered on April 12, 2025 at 11:14pm

#1213. Too Early?
ID #1087037 entered on April 11, 2025 at 3:53pm

#1212. Looking
ID #1086992 entered on April 10, 2025 at 7:47pm

#1211. Sun on Skin
ID #1086938 entered on April 9, 2025 at 8:35pm

#1210. What Happened to My Day?
ID #1086843 entered on April 8, 2025 at 3:53pm

#1209. No time!
ID #1086795 entered on April 7, 2025 at 11:53pm

#1208. Feeding Frenzy
ID #1086718 entered on April 6, 2025 at 8:22pm

#1207. Memories
ID #1086643 entered on April 5, 2025 at 5:08pm

#1206. Rockin Robin
ID #1086579 entered on April 4, 2025 at 8:43pm

#1205. Mistaken Identity
ID #1086524 entered on April 3, 2025 at 9:38pm

#1204. Steps of Life
ID #1086468 entered on April 2, 2025 at 7:30pm

#1203. Forecast or Forecurse?
ID #1086355 entered on April 1, 2025 at 3:50pm

#1202. Over Done!
ID #1086287 entered on March 31, 2025 at 4:20pm

#1201. Lion or Lying?
ID #1086234 entered on March 30, 2025 at 7:52pm

#1200. Intruder Alert!
ID #1086191 entered on March 29, 2025 at 8:09pm

#1199. Ready, Set, Restart!
ID #1086129 entered on March 28, 2025 at 2:06pm

#1198. Times Up
ID #1086041 entered on March 26, 2025 at 9:57pm

#1197. Stinkin Rich
ID #1085988 entered on March 25, 2025 at 5:42pm

#1196. What Happened to Me?
ID #1085940 entered on March 24, 2025 at 6:53pm

#1195. Getting Shorter
ID #1085888 entered on March 23, 2025 at 3:29pm

#1194. Stimulating
ID #1085847 entered on March 22, 2025 at 5:31pm

#1193. A Haunting?
ID #1085804 entered on March 21, 2025 at 8:30pm

#1192. Missed Again
ID #1085749 entered on March 20, 2025 at 7:11pm

#1191. Springy Snooze Button
ID #1085633 entered on March 18, 2025 at 2:32pm

#1190. What to Write
ID #1085592 entered on March 17, 2025 at 6:32pm

#1189. Past Memories
ID #1085530 entered on March 16, 2025 at 6:55pm

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