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Some fun to be had for sure for sure |
| A place for connection, learning, having some fun, and hopefully improving my writing skills. |
| There was a time, when the low tick of a clock was a triggering moment for me. During the worst times of my depression, the clock was one of my worst enemies. The minutes, the hours, the days dragged by so slowly it was a torture. All I wanted was that damn clock to chase the time away, till I could sleep and shut out the endless pain of the day. And yet sleep never fell either. And so I would lie there at night, listening to the sound of the clock counting down even more endless, painful hours. Just when I thought surely an hour must have gone by by now, I would look and I was lucky if it had been five minutes. Now, many years the later, and in a much better headspace, I enjoy listening to my cuckoo clock tick away during the night and the songs it plays on the hour and half hour, and I find a peace and comfort in it. It may be a different story one day, if the darkness returns as it was back then, but for now, a clock ticking is soothing if anything else. |
| Dearest Bindi, I know that you will never be able to read my letter of gratitude and love that I write to you this day, but I will make sure that I read it to you. I never in a million years would have thought that the day I signed up to try my hand at being a puppy raiser for guide dogs that it would change my life. That you, would change my life. The day you arrived I quickly realised I was out of my depth and you were such a closed off thing. Normally puppies crave affection and closeness to their people, never let them out of their sight. Not you. You kept yourself at a distance and we wondered if we were doing something wrong. It took you a few weeks to finally sit over in the lounge area with us at night while we were watching tv, and pats weren't really your thing. You would tolerate them, but only in small doses. What you wanted was to learn, to be constantly doing something, playing, training, demanding. None of this sappy love stuff. You had days and days, hours upon hours to fill and I was expected to fill them with you. You were, in a two words a "holy terror" and I adored you. You taught me so much in such a short space of time, and eventually I began to think perhaps you at least liked me. We became a team you and I and we still are today, nearly 15 years later. You not only gave me a purpose in life, but eventually a career. You gave me grandpuppies to love, if only for a short while before they went on to do their thing and you ended up giving me a love I can and will never replace. You showed me that I was worth something, was good at something, could be something and I will forever be grateful. Now we sit in a timeframe of "how much longer do we have together" and what the hell will my life be like without you in it. I can't even let myself begin to imagine. But my love and gratitude for you holds no bounds and long after we finally have to say goodbye it will remain. you are the love of my life, now and alway. Love Mum. |
| The older I get, the more of a Christmas Grinch I become. Maybe it is because I don't have children, then grandchildren to make the day more heart full, I don't know. I do know that I still, at 51 do not regret not having children, so it's really the only day of the year that I wish I could escape from. However, I do love all the Xmas Decorations that are in the shops, the light displays people spend so much time putting together on their houses, the good old fashioned Xmas Carols, all of that. As for the shopping, the sales, the advertising and money grabbing that goes on. NO!!! That is something I leave for everyone else to endure. My husband and I don't even necessarily buy each other gifts. If we want something, we buy it when we want it. I'm fussy and so is my hubby. So I would prefer not to have people waste money on me and buy me things that go in a cupboard, get regifted or go in the bin. And isn't Xmas supposed to be about family and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ (not that I buy into all that either). No Xmas has turned into a time to spend way too much money on material things that yes, for the kids may be exciting and wonderful, and really it is more of a time for kids. They keep going on here in Australia about the cost of living ruining people's lives. Doesn't seem to stop them from going and spending a bomb on Xmas presents though does it. Yeah, definitely becoming more of a Grinch. However I do make sure my 3 gorgeous furkids get presents and watching them open them is the best part of my day. Once that is done, I'm done. |
| I am afraid I would not want to meet Meghan Markle. The woman just screams fake. At the start of her relationship with Harry, I was so happy for him and I thought he really had met the right woman, and maybe he has, for him. And I loved the idea of the fab four. Kate, William, Harry and Meghan, bringing the stuffy old monarchy into a new era together. The kids could have grown up together and had a wonderful relationship of family and support but all of this was obviously not meant to be. I also believe that Harry has so many hang ups about his mothers death that he has never dealt with. I loved Diana and was devastated myself when she died and I understand how great the loss for the boys was. But Harry has just never moved on. He has always lived his life in the shadow of William as well and I feel that affects him more than he likes to admit, being the spare. However I do think Harry could have been another young and wonderful influence for the monarchy, but sadly not meant to be. I will never know if my mind has been shifted by all the shit that has been written about her or I simply have formed my own view on Miss Markle. But she sure knows how to cause a ruckus. I guess my question would be: Who are you really?? |
| I can sadly, sadly say that I have never played or even seen snow!! I would love to make a snowman, slide down a snow enbankment on a sled, throw snowballs at my husband, rug up tight, wear big welly boots to slush through it all. I would love to experience a white Christmas as well. Cup my hands and blow hard to keep them warm and watch my breath steam in the air. I doubt I would be any good at skiing and spend most time on my butt than anything else but I would be prepared to give it a crack. One day, hopefully I can tick it off my bucketlist where it sits in line. We shall have to wait and see. |
| Home is where the bodies are. My current partner, whom I love dearly, wants us to move. Start a new life in a new city, far from anywhere we have lived before. "Let's go on an adventure of a lifetime Lilly" he says with such enthusiasm and passion in his eyes that I feel loathe to disappoint him. The love I have for him is more than I have ever felt for another human in my short life. He tempts me to leave this all behind, something I have never even considered before. But how can I leave here? So many secrets, so many hidden stories waiting to be discovered. That can never happen. The thought of losing him though is beyond imagining. I cannot let him go. His eyes make me melt, the touch of his hand upon my face makes me truly believe I am beautiful, that the ugliness is only soul deep and not transmitted on the outside. I make him laugh, he thinks I am smart and witty. He spoils me in ways no one has before. I need him in my life, but he would never, ever understand. They never do. I have learnt from my past mistakes. Even though they say they love me, they can never just quite make that extra leap once I tell them my deepest darkest secret of all. He lays there now, upon the couch, hair messy from running his fingers through it, thumbing through pages of places we could go, occasionally calling me over to "check this out Lil". Oh how I love him. He is just so so pretty and lovely. No other woman could possibly love him as much as I and certainly he will love no other the way he loves me. But I must remain strong in my decision. I cannot move with him, move away from my yard of secrets. It just cannot be. I sigh, heartbroken. Such a waste. I will prepare our final meal together, make all of his favourite dishes, set the table outside, a romantic dinner for two. Candles will alight the patio but cast no glow upon the yard, concealing his final resting place. A heaviness settles upon my shoulders. I had had such high hopes for us. I thought I had finally found my forever. But it is not to be. Turning away from him, Lilly makes her way to the kitchen and begins her list for their one last dinner. |
| Soft candlelight illuminated from the front door of the gorgeous 1940's tudor cottage, right through to the back garden where fairy lights took over to fill the smallish space with a magical and inviting glow. The home was substantial in size and had been in the Squire family for generations. Recent refurbishment had taken place in abundance, but Mary-Lou made sure her adjustments, as she liked to call them, would not cause too much controversy among the family when they viewed it for the first time tonight. Since inheriting the cottage over a year ago, Mary-Lou wanted to fill her new home with a touch or two of her own personality rather than the continuation from ghosts of the past. The kitchen had be redone in more modern tones and opened up to make the space more useful for a girl who loved to cook and create. The generosity of the pantry was now more to her liking but sure to have her mother frowning with disapproval in taking away the history of what had been before. Mary- Lou was nervous and excited about tonight's reveal party and made sure that it was going to be a small collection of immediate and close friends that would gather to help her celebrate. Her first guests arrived shortly after the 7pm start time and were stunned at what Mary-Lou had done with the place. They were full of compliments and some of them even asked her for her interior designers number they were so impressed. By the time family came, Mary-Lou was feeling full of pride and light heartedness, feeling like the night was going to be a celebration to remember. However the arrival of her parents turned the the joy into horror when upon entering the house, and more so the kitchen, her mother's face turned a stony shade of grey, her eyes widened in what could only be interpreted as disgust and before anyone could even blink, she dropped stone dead to the cobbled kitched floor of a heart attack. |
| Oh my goodness, where to start with relaxing. I love to become wrapped up in a great book. Even better on a cold rainy day when you can crawl under a blanket, a cup of coffee or tea beside you and just immerse yourself in another world, another persons journey be it fiction or non fiction. While the sound of rain hits the roof, the fresh and cleansing smell it brings with it and the dimness to the day. Sitting outside, as I am right now with my 3 dogs, writing, dreaming, imagining. The wind is cool, it is peaceful and quiet except for the birdsong around me. Watching a really good series on TV. One that engages you from the start and you just keep hitting next when the episode ends. Or an old faithful series that has been running for years and the characters feel like family or friends. Sitting on the beach, walking along the beach, or even just having a front row view of it from a balcony unit. The smell, the slight stick of salt upon your skin, the sound of the waves crashing into shore. Mother nature at it's best. Being away in our caravan with our old girl. Journeying to somewhere new or somewhere familiar and comfortable. Getting away from it all to just have the simplicity of what you have right in front of you and not a houseful of work. Lying in bed, headphones on, listening to all my favourite music. Shut off from everything around me, just for awhile. |
| Here in Australia, The Melbourne Cup is a public holiday for Victoria on the first Tuesday in November. The Melbourne Cup has always been "The Race Stops the Nation" and is a 3200 metre race for 3 year old and older horses from all over the world. It is considered one of the most prestigious horse races in the world where Jockey's, trainers, horse owners and the like would love nothing more than to claim this cup as their own. My father was a very keen horse racing follower and gambler. It was one of his greatest passions and so I grew up in a world where horse racing was vey prominent. Melbourne Cup was the day that most people who never gamble take a flutter, pick a random horse and hope for the best. My Dad however, used to study the form tirelessly leading up to the event, see which jockeys were riding the horses he favoured, which horses did better in the wet, better in the dry, how they went the distance and the list goes on. For me, horse racing, especially now my Dad is no longer here, is something I don't much care for. I'm changing my mind on whether it is a form of animal cruelty, whether the horses actually do enjoy it and should it be something that continues. I mean of course it will continue as there is too much money involved. Greed will always outweigh anything else. So when Melbourne Cup comes around now, I no longer have a flutter, I no longer even watch it. But here in Australia, it is a big deal. I do enjoy seeing all the fashions that come out for the day, from your ordinary everyday joe blow, to all the celebrities and big wigs like the horse owners etc. Then of course the after party photos on the news and social media that night. All the drunken fun that was day on the day and aftermath it always leaves in it's wake. So there are still fun parts to behold, but for me I am no longer sure I support the race itself. |
| I definitely feel that to be true to who you really are is tough in the world we have created today. This one makes me ponder, it has me sitting here thinking, would it be the greatest accomplishment. I'm not sure, but I do believe it would be one hell of a one. I guess as I get older I do very much care less about what people think of me and I would say the majority of the time I am myself and not what others expect, think or want me to be. I'm certainly glad I grew up when I did and not in today's times. The kids have it so much harder, or do they? Seems to me that a lot of kids out there don't care who they are and act accordingly, which is not great, I'm not saying it's a good thing, they simply don't care. If they don't want to go to school, they don't. If they don't want to show manners to everyday people, they don't. Is this who they really are? Seems to me it is. When I was growing up, as were my friends, we had expectations placed on us like manners, trying hard at school, just to name a few. But these days that all seems to have gone out the window and the kids are exactly as they want to be. I know that I am more myself now than I have ever been. I'm not saying that when I'm at work or sometimes in a social setting I don't revert back to a version of me that is tempered by expectation, especially around people I have known for a very long time, who knew or know an older version of me. I feel sometimes like if I'm not the person they remember they may no longer like me, but honestly now, who cares? So I do think that if you can be yourself completely and not conform to everything else around you then it is an accomplishment, and very good one. Is it going to be my greatest accomplishment, maybe, maybe not. Only time will tell. |
| I do love the old time Christmas Carols. Not all the new fangled ones you unfortunately hear now at the annual Christmas shows, but traditional ones from long ago. I am a spiritual person, my beliefs are my own and I don't believe that people should try and ram their beliefs down people's throats, so I guess that's why traditional religions do nothing for me. However I grew up loving Christmas, loving the day spent with my parents and family in the days surrounding it and loved the Christmas Carols. My favourite is Once In Royal David's City. There is just something about the tune, the flow of the song that I find peaceful and calm and magical. My husband's uncle was a minister and he used to hold the loveliest Christmas Eve services. Once he knew that Once in Royal David's city was my fave carol, he used to make sure it was on the list for us to sing. I truly loved him for that. I do miss those days. He is in a nursing home now and my Mum, who used to love going to these services too, has been passed some 11 years. |
| Personally I don't believe genetics plays a stand alone part is how long we live for. I think life itself has it's own plans for us. There are so many factors that can come into play during the time we have here on earth. As human beings we make so many decisions that can affect how long we live for that has nothing to do with genetics. We can take up smoking, doing drugs, drinking, being overweight, not addressing medical issues and the list goes on. Cancer can come and bite you on the arse, which is what happened to my mother, who had no history of cancer in her family. Her mother lived until she was well into her 80's but Mum passed at 73. You can be wiped out in a tragic car accident, or any accident that could take our lives in a heartbeat. One of my best friends families genetics had them living well into their 70's and 80's but she was tragically taken way too young due to Legionnaires Disease after potting some plants without gloves on, using potting mix. The potting mix infected a slight cut on her finger she didn't even know was there and she died from this. So for me, life choices and life tragedies have more of a role in our longevity than genetics. |
| I am grateful for Thanksgiving is not a tradition in Australia, it is not a holiday we celebrate as a whole, even though I am sure there are families out there that do. However I do believe that in the territory of Norfolk Island here in Australia they do recognise it. I had an American Supervisor when I was a puppy raiser, she celebrated Thanksgiving and invited us all to celebrate with her each year which I really enjoyed. For me I tend not to celebrate or recognise certain things on an official date, but more so regularly when I feel it is important or I feel the need to. Like Valentine's Day. I myself prefer to regularly show and remind my husband that I love him, appreciate him etc rather than on a date determined on the calendar and when it becomes a hugely overpriced money earner. I am grateful for so many things every day, not just on a particular date. Ask me at any time what I am grateful for and I can give you a lengthy list. I silently give thanks, to no one in particular, for all the gifts and blessings bestowed upon me on a daily basis. It is a private thanks, that needs to be shared with no other, but I like to acknowledge it for myself. At this particular time: Wed 5th Nov 11.40am I am grateful for my life. I could bore you all with the lengthy list of things in my life that makes it just that: my life, but I won't. I have, and am living a life that I am very grateful for and all that it encompasses. |
Prompt: Have fun with these words: twig, leaf, flint, thorn, straw, feather and sunrise. Is there anything more magical than a sunrise? The beginning of a new day, filled with endless possibilities. The chance for a do over, to right some wrongs, to leave the mistakes of yesterday behind. The woods were cool this summer morning and the young woman took advantage of this precious time to herself before the heat of the day set in. She knows these woods like the back of her hands and they hold endless childhood memories for her. Twigs snap as she moves her way through the endless pathways that only the locals are familiar with. These pathways are covered in leaf litter and hide the footprints of those that have gone before. This is not only a sanctuary for this young woman, but the endless species of bird life that call these woods home. This morning their song fills the air with endless calls and birdsong, all vying to outdo each other to be heard. The stunning feather of a Palm Cockatoo descends from the trees as the bird takes flight, moving away from the woman as she approaches. She captures it in her hand as it sails towards her upon the slightest puff of breeze and she admires the inky darkness of it's colour. The Indigenous Australians believe the Cockatoo is a messenger between the human and spiritual world so she tucks in safely through a hole in her hat. As she runs her hands along it's silky length she pulls back sharply when a thorn, stuck in part of the feather bites into her finger. A small bubble of blood rises and she quickly locates and removes the thorn before it can imbed itself any deeper. "The cheeky bugger" she says quietly as she lifts her eyes to the trees to see if she can locate the Cockatoo. Moving quietly and quickly the young woman makes her way towards a small alcove set amongst the trees and clocks the small tendrils of smoke rising from within. As she rounds the side of a tree and comes upon the alcove opening, she smiles as she sees her best friend waiting and warming her hands by the small fire made from straw kindling and a flint they had found many moons ago on one of their many adventures. Sitting down, the two young women do not need to speak. They are there to listen to their ancestors who call upon them this day, to deliver messages from the afterlife to those they have left behind. The young woman removes the feather from her hat and holds it in her hand, feeling the life energy move upon her skin. Soon she stares into the face of her grandmother, gone from this world two years past. She feels a sense of peace and comfort and knows that her grandmother's spirit flies high and free within the Cockatoo. Wild and free, as she always was in life. She gives thanks for the messages her grandmother delivers this morning and lays the feather upon the stones that ring their little fire. There is no greater blessing than to recieve the messages of the loved ones. To be the vessel of communication between this world and the next. |
| Use these words in entry: meaningful, connection, art, grace, scent and tree. {{c:maroon}size:4.5} I really hate the way I feel about Christmas now. Where once I used to look forward to the day, first as a child growing up with loving parents who always made Christmas special, to when I met my future husband and was embraced by his family, who then in turn embraced mine and we ended up sharing Christmas Day's together. All that is gone now. My parents are both passed and my hubbies Dad died years ago from cancer, and so did Christmas with them. For me anyway. Being an only child and also not having children (which to be clear I do not regret one bit), Christmas without my parents, and without hubbies Dad who was larger than life, who invited every Tom, Dick and Harry around for Christmas Day and made it very special, the day is now just.....nothing. What used to be a meaningful day for our two families and now withered and died, and each year when it comes around, we find ourselves going through the motions but really not wanting to. If it weren't for having my 3 beautiful furkids, who I could not imagine not sharing Christmas Day with, hubby and I would be off in our caravan somewhere and we would probably just pretend the day was like any other and not celebrate. Just enjoy being together somewhere new and wonderful and be happy with that. But there is another part of me, that still loves all the Christmas fuss. The decorations in all the shops, going to Christmas farms where they have real living Christmas trees and that wonderful scent of pine or fir trees. The street art on display with people decorating their houses, their lawns, and entering into competitions for who has the best Christmas light show. The connections you make with people around Christmas time when the spirit of the season seems to sweep everyone up at some point or another, even with total strangers. The grace of a truly lovely Christmas service (and I am not religious at all) but hubby's uncle was a minister and we always used to go to his Christmas Eve services and sing the carols, light candles and just be swept up by it all. It truly used to be some very special times. But now I am more like the Christmas Grinch, and to be honest I just really want those days of family and friends, a large group of people coming together and sharing the day. But we just don't have that any more, and so I spend most of the day thinking about how lucky so many other people are. Spending the day with loved ones, playing the traditional Christmas Day cricket match in the back yard, swimming in the pool and eating amazing lunches. Opening presents, laughing and just being joyful. But that is gone for me. The best part of the day for me is when we give our furkids their presents and watch them open them and rip all the paper and throw it everywhere. But then I also feel mighty selfish for feeling this way, as I know, that I have so much more than so many other people out there who spend Christmas Day completely alone, living on the streets, or perhaps in hospital gravely ill. I have a loving husband, and loving furkids. A wonderful home and so much more, and yet??? |
On this day in 2018, Roseanne Cash released She Remembers Everything..In the lyric "I didn't know her then, My Enemy,My Treasured Friend. Outside this waking dream, she remembers everything. This for me is so poignant today. I have slipped down the rabbit hole a bit. It's a place I am way too familiar with and I don't want to go down any further. You know that old "you have a devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other" Well my devil is the one that is with me more often than not. Pouring self doubt, self loathing etc into my mind. It's a dance I have done with him since I was a young girl and he has won more times than not. As a 50 year old woman I am over and done with him, or at least I'm trying to be. But today is not one of those days. Today he is winning and I am mad as hell about it. I've also had this overwhelming panic that my time is running out. That I am not going to get to do all the things my husband and I are hoping to. And it truly has taken a hold of me today. So these lyrics My Enemy, My Treasured Friend are speaking to me loud and clear today. I'm hoping for a more positive tomorrow. |
| Prompt: “The November wind has a sound different from any other, a low, dry whispering through the bare branches.” CCan't believe today is the first of November. Where did the time go?? Anyone else find it rushing past in a blaze of glory the older you become?? Today has many weather shifts here in Australia. Waking to a fine morning but with severe weather event warnings from our trusty (scoff) weather bureau for the last few days. Today will be the day to batten down the hatches. From a dry wind blowing the trees in the back reserve to the sudden temperature drop and darkness filling the skies, they could be right. That weather event has hit us for the first time now at 3.50pm, and judging by my little Rain Parrot app there is more on the way. I love a good storm I have to say. I don't want damage to anyone or their property, and certainly not ours, but there is something about a good storm that zings through my veins and brings almost a calmness. The Mother Goddess is having a say, she is whipping about reminding us who really has the power in this universe of ours, and so she should. The wet pavements, the plants and trees bowing and dancing in delight from a good drenching does the soul good. And those that fall have been given their due date, a date we all have waiting ahead for us, whenever that may be. We are not in control here. Mother nature, the universe, they hold all the cards, and we as humans are only guests in their world and it is good to be reminded. |
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