I Get It!

Dear Bucky Bonzai,

You are my son and a high-functioning autistic. You are my second child and I adore you because of who you are and who you can be one glorious day.

The disorder that affects your brain and the way you think is not a mystery to me, nor does it frighten me. I know that Autism is a spectrum disorder and that I am blessed to have you. My heart goes out to the children that are locked inside their heads, catatonic and destined to rock back and forth in their silent world. They are the most affected by this disorder and deserve empathy and compassion, not scorn and derision.

Our special bond has helped me to understand you when others do not. I see the intelligent child behind your bright green eyes, I hear magic in your laughter and feel warm sunlight in your smiles and hugs. Although you do not say it very often, each time you tell me that you love me, my heart swells to bursting. For I know that deep down where it counts, you understand the fight we have before us and you know without a doubt that I will rise to the challenge and be your champion every step of the way.

I overlook the quirks and odd habits that are symptoms of your disorder. When you flap your hands, I know that you are either bored or that you're feeling anxious. I allow you the time you need to calm yourself and if you can't, I am there to give you quiet reassurance that you are loved and valued.

I know that you are capable of interacting with the world and people, albeit in your own quirky way and I also know that you enjoy receiving love and affection as well as giving it. I understand your need for routine and it does not put my life out of synch to give you one. I know that subtlety and sarcasm do NOT go over your head. I know that you understand more than people give you credit for and that you are hurt by the negativity you in come in contact with.

I can't put you in a bubble and protect you all the time, for it is the roadblocks of life that make us who we are. It would not be right for me to keep you from growing as a person. You're outside the box and that is a fine place to be. You are a square peg in a round hole society and that's good too. You are an original and I support you and love you more for it. It takes more strength to be a misfit than to be one of the sheep. Walk to your own tune, sweetheart, and be proud of who you are. Don't let the naysayers bring you down. Show them all what you can do, despite their attempt to hold you back. Break out of their mold and never look back.

Every day I delight in seeing the world through your eyes. Your unique perspective is refreshing in a time when people are too busy with work and bills and themselves to notice anything further than their nose. Your unending thirst for knowledge and understanding spurs me on to take you to new places and explore not only the earth we live on, but the far-away places that we can only see through the lens of our telescope. Because of you, I have learned more about weather, the universe, the value in letting your imagination run amok and most importantly, love. Over the past 12 years you have taught me patience and have opened my eyes to new possibilities.

For in the end Bucky Bonzai, despite what others might say or think, I do not see Autism as a disability. I see it as a possibility. You have inspired me to be more than just a mother to you, you have inspired me to be your companion on a quest that has no end and I can't thank you enough for being a cherished part of my life.

The sky is not the limit for you beloved, the sky is only the beginning of your great journey. And I hope you take me with you when you go, because I don't want to miss the sweet and precious look of joy on your face when you arrive.

I love you,
Mom


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Sincerely, Kimberly Kane
http://Writing.Com/authors/kimberlykane