Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Everyone is afraid of something. What things are you most afraid of? How do you know if a fear is legitimate or irrational? What can you do to control irrational fears? How does fear play into your mental health?


I'm afraid of two things. One I can work with and can control my fear level the other I haven't mastered.

Number one fear is heights. However over time I have done things years ago I would have laughed at you for suggesting and walked away. Like last year I ziplined with my grandson. Was I scared, hell yeah but he really wanted me to go so I sucked it up and went with him. He was so pleased with me.

Number two fear is spiders. Ain't no sucking up that one. My cousin used to collect barn spiders when we went camping and put them in our sleeping bags. I'm not just scared, I'm petrified. I scream even now when I see them. I won't step foot in the room until they're dead. It doesn't matter what the size is. I know at my age it is irrational but I can't cope. I see the spider and I feel it crawling on me just like I did when I was young. I scrub my skin raw. I don't close my eyes until I'm positive the spider is dead. It didn't help my ex would torment me with spiders. I work myself up into such a state that I can't function. I became paralyzed with fear.

It took a lot for me to face my fear and handle it on my own. I used to empty a whole can of raid whenever I saw a spider at the old place because we couldn't afford an exterminator. I still didn't sleep well and I would search everywhere because I was sure there were more. Unfortunately, John would use that fear against me so I had to find a way to cope.

Poor Vic when he started dating me had no idea how terrified I was. I know it's psychosomatic but I can't help it. Vic for his own sanity agreed to have the house bombed every season so there are no spiders nesting anywhere in here. I'm an exterminator's best friend. His willingness to help make sure my zone was safe helped me a lot.

Luckily, I've only seen one since Vic began working in Va, I took the vacuum and sucked it up and the sprayed the bucket on the other end. It's a housing unit so the spider ended up in the garage where spraying raid didn't hurt my kitties.

I know I'm not alone fearing spiders, Prosperous Snow celebrating QPdoll share a common fear with me.
Getting old does have some advantages as well Neva and I can tell you lots of changes we've seen over the years. Not all of them are bad. It's a matter of accepting what you cannot change and changing what you can. Don't try to do it all at once because it will frustrate the heck out of you. Take baby steps and you will find the successes you need.