"A Problem Page For All!"

Yes I've seen traumatic things happen at the hospital, I've seen a lot of people die, and believe me, not everybody dies peacefully..
I've seen cancer and aids and other horrible diseases slowly take over people, killing them.
At first I though I could handle these situations well, and I really could, I helped people until the actual moment of dying, and I thought that after that I could just walk away and go on, but I now realize that things like that aren't that easy. Now that I'm working outside the hospital for a few months, I realize how stressed and close to the edge of a breakdown I really was.. And I'm actually kind of scared to go back there in February, and on the other hand I'm excited to go back.. It's all very confusing..

What kind of work I do? Well, I work as a nurse, so I do everything a registered nurse does, in the beginning I was only allowed to do the basic things like wash people etc, but now I do everything, even give chemo therapy and things like that.. (Not that I like it that I'm now allowed to do that.. I hate it..

And yes sometimes I get really sick of sick people and people dying, at moments like that all I can think is: what the hell am I doing here???

"I'll ride the trail till the stars turn pale
And camp at the break of dawn
Nobody will know which way I'll go
They'll only know I'm gone."