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(This message was edited by golden_tears on 07-22-04 @ 1:29 pm EDT) It was definitely hard for me to live with Nathan. I'm actually the sort of person who really needs soltitude, complete silence and aloneness. I never realized how independent I actually am until I lived with Nathan. Having him near me all the time just got on my nerves and made me feel irritated at him a lot of the time even though he never did anything obviously annoying. I just tensed up whenever I heard my door open and heard him walking towards me. I need to be away from him, miss him, dream about him and not be able to have him here whenever I darn please. OMG!! I could have written that! (without the name Nathan in it ) That is exactly what happened between me and Erik, and what was actually the reason for us to break up eventually.. I got very irritated at him, even though he never did anything that would give me the right to feel that way. It made me think a lot about myself, and I really hope that one day soon I will change, and be able to just be with someone without feeling this way... It really drives me crazy, every time I have a crush, I want that person really bad, but the minute I get him, and he's really mine, I don't know, for some reason that just isn't good enough for me anymore.. I hate myself for being this way, because I always end up hurting people, I make them feel I'm crazy about them, and want them (which is true at that time) and then I can't stand being with them anymore the minute it gets too serious.. It keeps surprising me how alike we are cait.. I want to be the one to dance in the sun |