Questions

How do you put up with put downs on a regular basis? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Is 'Did your mommy dress you with the lights off this morning' count? (Dad )

Don't you know I wouldn't want you dressed in lights that were on, since you'd then get an electric shock? If you must wear lights, aren't you glad they're off? (Unless they're from Christmas Tree) (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Is that a good point or what? Is that not exactly what I meant? Could I have actually meant ... with the lights turned off? Did you know that when I get dressed, the lights turn themselves off? (Dad )

Is it because the lights are sad that you're covering yourself up (you hunk you) ... ? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Is it more likely to the lights agree with the spider I washed down the drain? Is it equally likely it took one look at my nude body and my jumped willingly to its death? (Dad )

Was the spider pretty? Was she / he related to the spider in 'James and the Giant Peach'? If you haven't read JATGP, why not? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Could it be that I'd rather eat a peach than live in one? Isn't Charlie and the Chocolate Factory miles better? (Dad )

Isn't Danny the Champion of the World even better? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Do you know I have a personal letter from Roald Dahl? (A postcard) (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Did you know that Don Johnson, at the height of his Miami Vice fame, almost knocked Mom down an escalator? Isn't it amazing that she didn't know who he was? (Dad )

Was it an up escalator or a down escalator? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Why would anyone who respects law and order as much as Mom does even consider going down the up escalator? (Dad )

Does she make you respect law and order, too? Is that possible? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Has Hell frozen over? (Dad )

What's the most unlawful thing you've done? Do you know I've sneaked food into my niece's boarding school though the email strictly said 'no tuck'? ('Tuck' been schoolish for food) Does the craving for popularity justify this act? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Why are you asking? Are you a cop? Should I get a lawyer? Don't you think that's a little personal? Should I report you to WdC? (Dad )

You mean you have done something wrse than sneak fd into a schl (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

You aren't going to admit to me that you are a cop, are you? Why doesn't anyone believe I really did buy that cheesecake? (Dad )

Do you know I once had a T-shirt with 'the Broadway cheesecake recipe' on it, and I didn't know what Broadway Cheesecake was? Was it a Broadway Cheesecake you paid for? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Why should I pay good money for cheesecake when I can make it myself? (Dad )

May I have some? {e:drool} (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Am I wrong? Is cheesecake the perfect snack? Did you know that the first time I ate dinner with Great-Uncle's second wife, she served cheesecake? Would it surprise you to know I named her as my favorite aunt? (Dad )

Do we have similar reasons for favouriting an aunt? Do you know my favourite aunt made the best pizza in town? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Are there any other coincidences I'm not aware of? (Dad )

Did you break a Coke Bottle on your third birthday and need a tetanus shot? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

No, but would you believe that when I was 4, I stepped on a broken beer bottle at a roadside and needed a tetanus shot? Could I possibly make that up? (Dad )

Is it wise to be childish or childish to be wise (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Ah, then, Sonali, can you distinguish between childish and childlike? (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Aha -- you've hit the nub, would you know it? Did you realise that I was asking this about my own behaviour, and people's perception of it? Why do they perceive it as childISH when I think I'm being childLIKE and wise? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

While we're on the subject of wisdom, why do wise man and wise guy mean drastically different things? Why am I called a wise guy so often? Am I not a wise man, too? Why am I afraid of the answer? (Dad )

In this in and out, you are a 'whys' man, as seen from your previous post -- get it, get it? Is someone going to say 'nice pun' and indulge my craving for applause? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Was that a good pun, or what? Did you know I love applesauce, too? Oh, does that say applause? (Dad )

Applesauce, Applause ... any difference? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Isn't it true that hands striking my face hurts? Isn't it true that applesauce striking my face is slimy? (Dad )

Shall I tell you something exciting? Is it exciting that yesterday I bought a mask which is white with black polka dots on it? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Isn't it more exciting that I bought Mom a bag of white masks, and she decorated it with original designs she made with her cricut? Do you have any clue how grateful I am? (Dad )

Wow -- just how many talents does Mom have? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Isn't Mom just the absolute best, and a joy to be around? (Dad )

Yes! (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Excuse me for interrupting, but what, pray, is a cricut? (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Could it be an auto corrected word? Was something else meant? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Or might it be a machine that cuts out designs for use in her crafts? Is it likely that she can program her phone to have a machine cut out a picture or words? Did she not make me several T-shirts & masks to wear when I travel for Grandpa's funeral? (Dad )

You're going for Grandpa's funeral? Would you accept my condolences? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

How grateful am I for that? Do I feel the friendship? Can we now change the subject? Who wants dark chocolate? Seriously, do they make any other kind? (Dad )

Do you know I ate donuts twice last week? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Only twice? Do you realize that for me, that's a pretty good showing for a morning? (Dad )

Are donuts better than cake? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Does the sun rise in the east? Is dark chocolate an absolute joy, best eaten frozen? Are sheep wooly? Is a bear Catholic? Does the pope ... uh did I turn that around? (Dad )

I've never eaten frozen dark chocolate (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

In the name of all that is holy, why not? Don't you think it's time you did? (Dad )

Yes! (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Well? What's stopping you? Don't you think you should go freeze some delicious dark chocolate 🍫? Do I have to do everything? Would it be ok if I ate it, too? (Dad )

Is dark chocolate best at 70% cacao? Is any higher percentage too bitter? And why freeze it? Isn't it just as nice eaten straight from from a normal 'fridge? (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

What's an abnormal fridge? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Is it a model that doesn't answer you when you ask it what is good to eat? Why settle for chilled dark chocolate 🍫 when you can get it frozen? (Dad )

Why would you eat dark chocolate at all? (The User Policy )

Are you an ill-bred Neanderthal, The Geep Lord? Are you unaware of the tastiness of dark chocolate? Have I not made my position perfectly clear? How can you question the deliciousness of dark chocolate? Isn't dark chocolate full of healthy benefits? (Dad )

Shall we eat some, to find out? Who has some to share? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Why are you looking at me? Why are you walking towards my freezer? Do you not understand that I have it booby trapped? (Dad )

Oops! Did I say something wrong? What makes you think that I have delicious frozen dark chocolate in my freezer where just anyone can find it? Don't you think I'd find a much better hiding place for it? (Dad )

*after shotgun blast*. Didn't I tell you to get away from my freezer? (Dad )

Why hadn't I known how blissful this was, all my life so far? Do I have a lot to thank Dad for? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Would you believe that my reaction is, pay it forward? (Dad )

If you mean share my chocolate with the next person, then are you absolutely kidding? Wait, you can't mean that, can you? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Don't you know that I firmly believe that exceptions prove the rule? Isn't it obvious that I like to share? Isn't not sharing delicious frozen dark chocolate the exception that proves the rule? (Dad )

You mean you share pizza readily? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Have you seen this? [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Don't you know that "Gilligan's Island" is the only show you should watch the reruns of? How could I possibly eat an entire pizza by myself? Have you never waved down strangers on the street to share a pizza with? Why doubt that I have? (Dad )

So you don't think Amazing Race is worth watching? Do you know there is an Amazing Race Club on WdC? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

What about "Hogan's Heroes"? Doesn't that show merit a re-watch? (Just a Penguin )

Shall we talk about carrots? Do you know I just made a carrot roll for lunch? (Are you going to pun on the word 'roll'?) (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Well, perhaps I should have included Hogan's Heroes? How about Get Smart? Perhaps the original Mission: Impossible? Am I the only one who thinks the Mission: Impossible movies suck? (Dad )

Should I just agree with you, because I haven't seen the movie? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

I'm going to step out of character:. With covid-19 so bad in India, how are you & your dad doing? Please let me know. Thank you. (Dad )

(Back in character!) Is it a fact that the movie is so bad, I couldn't watch it? Is it also a fact that I couldn't get past how different it is from the TV show? Why did they have to change something so good into something so bad? (Dad )

Didja notice that when I stepped out of character, I still asked a question ❓ (Dad )

Yes Sonali, I’d like to know too. How are you and your Dad coping? (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Hey Sonali? How have you and your Dad done over the last year? (Dad )

Shall I tell the truth - that we're fine and happy? Shall I also add that I appreciate the question? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Can it be possible that we just might revitalize this I/O? Oh, BBG, The Mighty Grum of Grums? Where art thou? Can you please grace us with your presence? (Dad )

Can he? Can he? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

How should I know? Isn't India closer to Australia than Florida is? Shouldn't you be checking in on BBG? (Dad )

BBG, may I check in on you? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

(Sung to the tune of "Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone") "Oh where oh where has our Bumblegrum gone? Oh where oh where can he be? Is his tail cut short? Are his ears grown long? Oh where oh where can he be?" Didja sing that in my voice? (Dad )

Have I heard your voice? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Don'tcha know Mom says I talk too loud? If that's true, is it possible you've heard my voice? It's not that far from Florida to India, is it? (Dad )

Was that you saying, "Where are my glasses, not those, the ones with the whiskey in them?" yesterday, around 10 PM your time? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Didn't he say vodka, not whiskey? (Just a Penguin )

Don't you know that whisky's too rough? Isn't it true that champagne costs too much? Can vodka put my mouth any more in gear? As a matter of fact, isn't it obvious that I like beer? O.T.: With thanks and apologies to Tom T Hall (Dad )

If this wasn't a question-only item, would I be saying 'beer beer' instead of 'hear hear'? Am I really as corny as all that? Is someone going to pun on 'corny' now? Do I want them to? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Can my jokes get any cornier? Is there as much corn in my jokes as there is in Kansas in August? Is there a better way to fix corn than on the cob, grilled over charcoal? (Dad )

How much corn is there in Kansas in August, anyway? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Is there a special section in the library for cornography? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Knock knock who's there? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

How the hell should I know? Aren't you the one who is knocking? (If Steve were here, don't you know I'd end that with "dumbass?") (Dad )

Does anyone here like listening to audio books? (Did you notice how deftly I changed the subject? ) (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Who is there? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

Where is there? (Dad )

Isn't 'there' just 'here' with a 't' in the front? (THANKFUL SONALI RIP BIKERIDER )

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