This choice: It sounds weird and scary--but you'll do it. • Go Back...Chapter #36A Secret Change of Plans by: Seuzz   "No, because you'd still be you," Joe says. "And you'd know who you were. Who you really were. You just wouldn't feel like yourself. You'd just feel like--"
"It just doesn't make any sense to me," you complain. You try imagining what he is describing, but you can't get it to work. "Why couldn't we just switch masks, like you suggested earlier? You go around pretending to be me, and I pretend to be Cara. Well, I pretend to be you pretending to be Cara--"
"Because you wouldn't be able to pull it off," Joe says. "Pretending to be someone else who is pretending to be yet another someone else? Really?"
"But that's basically what you're suggesting!"
"Yeah," he admits. "But with my way you could pull it off." Joe returns your skeptical look through the darkness. "Look, suppose we just did switch masks. You wouldn't have my brain with you, so you wouldn't be able to fool Frank."
"So, couldn't we make up a copy of your brain and put it in the mask along with Cara's brain?"
"That's not possible. Even the Libra has to use logic, and the logic of the masks means you can't just put two mind bands inside one mask. The only way you can get two heads inside it--three, including your own--is if we--"
"Look, how about we talk to Frank," you say. "Maybe he will be cool with the idea of undoing the bargain. I mean, he didn't really want to do it in the first place."
"Mm," Joe says. "You had it right the first time. He'll never go for it."
"We should ask him anyway," you say.
Joe shifts uneasily. "Someone is doing a good job of thinking like me," he grumbles. "But I can't tell if it's me or if it's you. But come on."
* * * * *
"No," Caleb says firmly.
"Frank, this isn't something you can just reject out of hand," Cara says.
"Can't I?" he honks. "Let's try it again. No. Huh, looks like you're wrong, Joe, I can just--"
"Damn it, Frank," Cara says, and Caleb rears back. "That's right, you heard me, you cocksucker. Damn it!" Her breathing is labored. "This is a real shit scene, and it's not improved by you swinging your dick around like--"
"You keep your shit together," Caleb says in a hard and terrible voice. "I gave you a fair hearing--"
"Don't you want your body back," you say. Your interruption is very quiet, but it has the desired effect of stopping him cold.
"That has nothing to do with it," Caleb says. "We made a bargain--"
"And we undo it," Cara says.
"You proposed it in the first place," Caleb retorts. "And I went along with it because I judged it best that we lay our hands on the Libra as soon as possible. That's our job, Joe."
"And if I'm right, Frank, we're running a bad risk by hanging on to it," Cara says. "It's only going to come to rest when we give it to Prescott. You know I'm right about these things, don't you?"
"I know you think you're always right," Caleb says peevishly. "And giving it back to Prescott, after he's had a nice little time inside your head--"
He glares at you, and you cringe at the statement of mistrust. "I'd be just as happy to let you guys hang on to it," you insist. "It's Joe here who thinks I should take it. Me, I've been trying to get rid of it ever since--"
"And it'll be safe with him," Cara says in a much calmer voice. "We'll take him and it both with us back to Olympia--"
You jerk hard at this blunt statement that you're going to get hauled off to meet the boys' dad. But Caleb speaks before you can: "Fine. We can leave for home tonight."
"Well, first we'd have to set things up so we could leave," Cara says.
"Does that include fixing Gordon?" you ask. "That was also part of the oath, right? You have to fix Gordon before you leave?"
Caleb kicks at the floor. "You said we would undo the bargain."
"Alright then," you snort. "Who tells Chelsea she's not going to be getting her boyfriend back?"
Caleb snorts. "It doesn't really matter where we investigate the book. And there are people better equipped to take it apart. Nash. Kali. We leave things hanging here, and when they get a cure figured out we'll come back--"
"That's not playing fair with Chelsea," Cara says. "We have to do right by people."
"And who's doing right by Cara Fuhrman, Joe," Caleb says acidly. "Who's doing right by Caleb Johansson?" He raises his own hand. "Me? Oops, no, I think I'm not."
Your stomach twists. It's such a typical "Caleb" thing to do and say that you almost have to laugh even as you shudder at the easy way Frank is channeling Caleb's personality.
And he continues: "In fact, now that I think about it, I think that's exactly what we ought to do. The three of us go back to Olympia, taking the Libra with us. We set Caleb and Cara free. Chelsea has to stay with her fake boyfriend until we can get her real boyfriend back to her. It's the best, simplest and most moral solution."
"No," Cara says. Caleb blinks. "See, I can veto things too. We have to keep faith with Chelsea."
Caleb turns very, very red before shutting his eyes and jerking his shoulders. "Okay then. Things stay the way they are now. We keep the book, Chelsea and Prescott keep control of our bodies--" He casts a slit-eyed glance your way. "And we just keep working."
Cara shrugs in her turn, and with a frosty farewell tugs you out of Caleb's bedroom and out of his house. You don't say anything until you're out at the car. "So, are we just going to give up on--?"
"What do you think?" she retorts.
You snort. What a question. You're back in Joe's own mask--which may have been a mistake; it might be that the sight of you in it put Frank back on his heels--so you've a fair idea of what Joe himself is thinking. "You want me to use that whatchamacallit."
She looks over at you. "You feel a little more used to the idea? You're looking like you're a little more used to it."
"Well, I would, looking like this, wouldn't I?" But you have to shake your head. "I guess it'll be a lot like this. Having your head and all. But having your anima riding around inside me too--"
"And Cara's imago," she says. She tries smiling, but it looks tight and tired on her face. "It'll be the best set up you've ever had for yourself, Prescott."
* * * * *
I'm Cara Fuhrman, you think happily to yourself. It's not hard to convince yourself of that fact as you come out of the tumble with the skirt slapping lightly at your thighs. You turn and hold your arms triumphantly over your head and dimple at Chelsea.
She smiles and claps. "Much better, Cara. You're really coming along." You have to give Chelsea credit: although she is not going to get Cara as a second identity, she's not going to take her frustration out on her assistant squad captain. Or maybe she just knows she can't afford to act like she made a mistake in adding Cara to the squad.
I'm Joe Durras, you think happily to yourself as you accompany the other girls into the changing room, giggling with Kelli and grabbing at her arm. It's so much fun--and so easy--to touch the girls. You watch them as they change, masking your excitement with a vacuous smile as you also disrobe. Joe's own thoughts skitter and flash like quicksilver beads. You're thinking about Kendra, and you're also thinking about the upcoming algebra test, and you're thinking about Frank, and you're thinking about the Libra, and none of these thoughts are getting mixed up with each other.
I'm Will Prescott. Ah, that thought is hard. You know it's true, but as Joe had warned--and you yourself now understand--it's not a convincing thought. A new spell allowed him to craft an anima band of himself, and last night you'd set it on yourself before slipping under Cara's mask, even as he slipped under a mask of Will Prescott. Having an anima band on you means that you're convinced that you're really Joe Durras. "Will Prescott" is just an alien presence in your own head, and one that is easy to set aside. You're Joe Durras, the youngest member of the Stellae Errantes, and even though you're having a huge amount of fun pretending to be Cara Fuhrman, you are completely devoted to your mission: retrieving and destroying the Libra Personae.
And because you're Joe Durras, the other Joe Durras--
You feel a little twinge. There shouldn't be another Joe Durras; there should only be you, it says. A slight shadow falls over your mind, but you shake it away.
And because you're Joe Durras, the other Joe Durras knew that it would be totally safe to entrust the Libra to you. "Prescott" would vanish--almost--under the influence of Joe Durras's anima. There are now two of him, which makes things twice as safe.
There should only be one, something whispers.
Firmly, you smother the thought. But smothering it only reminds you that the thought keeps coming.
"See you at lunch, Chelsea?" you ask as you walk with her into the gym.
"Of course," she says brightly, and then skips over to where the thing that looks like Gordon Black is waiting for her. They embrace.
Being Joe Durras also means that you know that Frank was right: You and him and the Libra and Prescott--you frown vaguely at the four names for three people--should go back to Olympia. Maybe Chelsea would understand.   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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