This choice: The audience reaction is negative, Kirstie has to teach a rude guy a lesson • Go Back...Chapter #5The audience reaction is negative, Kirstie has ... by: izdubarr   "Welcome back to the Oprah Winfrey show. We're here today with Kirstie Alley, and if you're just joining us, she's undergone a remarkable transformation. Now I think it's fair to say that our studio audience is going crazy. Everyone has a question for Kirstie, and we're going to try to let a few people speak."
Oprah held the microphone out to a doughy looking woman in her mid forties.
"Kirstie, wow you look amazing! But, what if I don't want to look that ... extreme?"
"Well, you won't. You can't actually. I mean just looking at you, you weight what about 150 pounds, right? So if you took one of my pills you'd still weigh 150 pounds, but it would be 150 pounds of muscle. Which is buff, don't get me wrong. You'd be very buff and very strong, but I weigh like 60 pounds more, so you wouldn't be close to as big as me."
"Now if 150 pounds of muscle is too extreme for you, there's another option. All that muscle turns your body into a calorie burning machine. So you just have to eat a relatively healthy... I hate to use the word but diet. I'm not talking diet like you're thinking, just eat sensibly. And with all your new muscle, the weight will just melt off! Seriously, I mean like losing 5,6, 8 pounds a week! I need to eat like 5000 calories a day just to stay at the same weight!"
"So you take the pill, eat sensibly, and in a few weeks you're down to 130 pounds of muscle, which with your frame is sexy and sleek and toned, but not really bulky at all."
"But seriously. You could do that, but why would you want to? You'll probably do what every other woman who has tried the program did. Take the pill, and then want more muscle! I'm serious! You don't understand how addicting it is to be strong and muscular!"
Another woman came to the mic, a younger college aged girl.
"Are there any side-effects?"
"Well, obviously, you get more muscular and really strong. The muscle is really functional too, and flexible." Kirstie bent over and grabbed one of her ankles, then stood up and held it over her head.
"Let me tell you, I couldn't do that before! You get increased fitness too. I can run 20 miles without getting really tired. And strength. I can't quite lift up my car over my head. It's a Hummer. If it was a Prius or something, then no problem. Like I said the strength is really functional as well. Not just brute force, but, watch."
She bent backwards into a back bridge and walked over into a handstand. Then she picked up one of her hands and started doing one handed handstand pushups before springing up, flipping twice in the air and landing on her feet.
"I used to be a gymnast in grade school, but let me tell you, I've never been able to do that before! What else. Oh yeah, how could I forget. It makes you really really," she dropped her voice to a fake whisper, "Horny! I always want sex now! And orgasm every time. I can orgasm watching the NBA these days!" The crowd roared.
"The sex is fan-tas-tic too. Bad sex is awesome and good sex... will put you in a coma!"
Next was a young man, maybe in his early twenties. He was being encouraged by several of his friends.
"Look, I'm sorry, I know you're really proud of yourself and all, but that's just nasty. You look like a man."
A chorus of boos started to ripple through the audience, but Kirstie calmed them.
"No, wait. He's entitled to his opinion. I appreciate you sharing it with us."
"Craig." he responded when she paused. "My name is Craig Summers."
"Well, Mr. Summers, I've certainly heard that opinion before. Usually it's from men about your age in groups, like you seem to be. I wonder, can I get you to help me with something? Down here on the stage."
The crowd started to applaud, and Craig walked down to to where Kirstie stood on the stage. He was a good six inches taller than her, but she made him look puny.
"Sit down, Mr. Summers, over there please. I want you to help me demonstrate something to the women in the audience that may be afraid that a lot of people will think like you did. I want to show them that people, especially young men in groups, don't always say what they mean."
Kirstie walked closer to the young man until she was nearly straddling him, like a stripper doing a lap dance.
"Now, Mr. Summers." Her voice dropped an octave into a throaty, sexy stage whisper.
"You're about 24 or so, is that right?"
"Twenty three." he responded, looking very nervous.
"I'm fifty-nine. Did you know that? I'm almost sixty years old. So old enough to be your mother, even your grandmother. It's really not surprisng that you don't find me ... sexually... attractive..." she paused to emphasize each word.
"Is it?"
She put one finger in her mouth and bit it lightly, pulling it out slowly and running it down her lower lip. The entire audience could feel waves of sexual energy emanating from Kirstie, all focused on the man in front of her. The audience was totally hushed.
"I mean, how could you be..." she took her finger and ran it down her neck to her collarbone
"Attracted..." she plunged her finger between her massive breasts.
"To an old woman..." tracing their outline.
"Like me?" she drew her finger down her rock hard abdominal, skipping it over each ab, before finally tucking it into her bikini bottom.
"Let me ask you again." She ran her finger across her chest this time, from one nipple to the other flicking each one lightly and leaving it swelling to poke through her bikini top. Then she took a step back from the chair, leaving Craig sitting in it, his face red, and his mouth open, slack jawed. Kirstie took a step back and flexed her biceps. Massive mounds of muscle swelled all over he body making her look bigger than ever.
"Are you attracted to this body?"
He muttered something inaudible.
"What's that, speak up."
"YES! yes oh my god yes!"
She smiled and turned back to the audience.
"You see ladies, men get intimidated, but we've found that they can't resist the appeal of a muscular body. Some of them don't like to admit it, I guess they're afraid their friends will think they're gay or something, but they love this. I'm not sure if that's a side effect of the treatment or not, but you'll notice that you have a superhuman sex appeal. Look at poor Craig, he's almost in a trance over there!"
"Now in case you're worried that being irresistible to men will get you in trouble, don't be. Let me show you something else." She went back to where she'd dropped her robe earlier, and bent over to take something from it. It was a key. She walked back over to Craig who was still sitting in his chair staring at her.
"Mr. Harris, you've been a wonderful young man. I want to take you back stage to my dressing room and do things you can't imaging to you. Would you like that, Mr. Harris? Would you like to go back to my dressing room and worship my body?"
"Y... yes."
"Say it."
"I would like to go back to your dressing room and worship your giant muscular body." He sounded almost like he was hypnotized.
"Excellent! You just need to take this key from my hand, and you can meet me back there. And I'll give you pleasure like you've never imagined before. But only if you can take the key from my hand." She closed her fingers slowly over the key.
Craig stood up and walked over to her. There was a noticeable wet spot in his pants, and his erection was clearly tenting out his pants.
"Come here my boy, and get the key."
He closed his hand around hers and tried to open it, but her fingers didn't move.
"What's wrong, Mr. Harris. Just take the key."
He brought up a second hand and strained to make her open up her fist.
"He doesn't have a chance. My fingers are stronger than his whole body. That's the kind of power I'm talking about here ladies."
Oprah jumped in at this point.
"A few years ago you might have heard a little story about me giving away cars." The audience laughed. "Well today I'm going to be giving away something so much more valuable. Each one of you is going home with a bottle of 100 of Kirstie Alley's magical muscle pills!"
The audience screamed, and cut to commercial.
Back in the sorority the girls were talking.
"This show was taped like a week ago. We need to go find someone who was at that show and get some of those pills from them!"  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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