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"You may be wondering why I'm doing this." Laura says while practically dragging you on your leash. Honestly you could care less about her motivations, just so long as you were back in your aunt's guest room by midnight. "You see Bobby, as much fun as leading you around on a leash is, it's not my sole motivation. I'm actually attempting to start a nice little dog training business on the side, but it's an awfully hard business to start up out of the blue. Owners want trainers with 'experience' and what better way than to show off my neighbor's well trained french poodle." Laura stopped and looked me dead in the eyes. "And if the poodle isn't well trained, then I guess I'll just have to take him and send him off to some kennel to spend the rest of his miserable doggy days. Do we understand each other?"
Standing there absolutely terrified I just nodded my doggy head and gave a quick little yip. I have absolutely no plan to be stuck as a freaking french poodle for the rest of my life. "Good," Laura said giving you a way too hard tug at the leash, "Let's go meet my client in the park."
Getting walked to the park it just feels like every pair of eyes is on me and it feels like every one of them can sense my embarrassment. I'm sure they are just taking a glance at the dog with the funny hair cut, but every look felt like a dagger of humiliation. If just being on the leash wasn't bad enough, at a crosswalk Laura started walking with and chatting up some dog walker guy for a while, and it felt like every single one of the dogs he was with just had to get a sniff of your ass. I kept trying to keep away from them but Laura kept dragging me back to the pack. Finally after what felt like a lifetime we reached the park and Laura directed me towards an older woman with her own poodle, this one a bit bigger than me.
"Hello Mrs. Wright. I'm ready for my demonstration."
"Hello Laura, and this is?"
"Fifi" Laura said smiling down at me after I let out a low whimper at being christened with such a...lame name.
"Absolutely adorable, not as fine as my Champ, but still a fine dog. Why don't you show me what your training can do."
"Very well, we'll start with the basics. Sit." Taking the cue from Laura I immediately sit back on my back legs.
"Shake." I reached a paw out for Laura to hold.
"Roll over." This isn't too bad I think as I rolled on the ground.
"All very basic, but what puts you above other trainers?"
"Oh I can make this dog do things you've never seen another dog do." Laura went over to a puddle of mud, moss, and filth and stomped a foot in it and walked back over to me.
"Lick it clean." Excuse me I think to yourself looking up at her with my little doggy eyes making sure I heard her right.
"Lick. It. Clean." Laura said again with a malicious tone in her voice.
Knowing I didn't have any choice in the matter if I wanted to turn back, licked all of the disgusting crap from her shoe, trying not to gag with each lick. Can this get any worse?
"I'm impressed! Do you have any more?"
"Why yes he can. Fifi! Kiss Champ."
Yes it can. I thought as I took a walk of shame over to the larger poodle who seemed to be giving me a look over. Before I could give it a second thought I cocked my neck up and licked Champ right on the nose. In return I got a slew of licks back and my backside got sniffed, thankfully this seemed to amuse Mrs. Wright enough to end the demonstration.
"Fantastic work! Bravo! You can start next weekend. Here is your agreed advanced payment." Mrs. Wright said excitedly
"Thank you very much." Laura said greedily taking the cash. As soon as the old lady and her dog were out of sight Laura looked at you and said,
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