"Here's how we're gonna do it," Two-Bits Mike said, putting an arm around Sam's shoulders and leaning in close as if he were discussing a bank heist rather than a perfectly legal wager. "You spend the rest of Brewfest here, puttin' away at least as much every day as you have already -- meanin' one or more of everythin', and four dozen mugs of beer at the minimum, an' pretty much anythin' else you can hold. At the end of the celebration, you get back into your workin' leathers, an' you win."
"What do I win?"
"I dunno. Hundred gold?"
"A hundred gold?" Sam snorted. "I'll spend that on food alone!"
"A thousand? Okay, a thousand and a half, final offer."
"Forget it. Didn't I tell you I'm richer than anythin' now? Nothin' you can offer is more'n a drop in the bucket for me."
"Fine. Then... then I'll dance naked in front of the Cathedral on a Sunday morning."
Sam grinned. "I halfway believe you'd do that anyway, but all right. Yer on. I can eat my way through Brewfest, no problem."
"Oh, I don't think the eatin' will be the problem," Mike said. "I said you win when you get back into your workin' leathers. Which you'll never manage after stuffin' your face for two weeks."
"I can't get that fat in two weeks, idiot-fer-brains."
"I think you can," Mike replied, "and once I win, you've gotta eat anythin' I tell you to eat during Hallows End, Pilgrim's Bounty, and Winter's Veil, three holidays your scrawny self has never appreciated. I'll have myself a nice round roly-poly dwarven lass to ring in the new year with!"
"I... I don't know about that..." Sam gulped.
"Worried your precious metabolism's gonna fail you? Well, if you want to give up and admit defeat now--"
"Never!" snapped Sam. "You're on, Two-Bits. Hope you enjoy you two bits hangin' out for all the bishops and priestesses to see. Shed a little Light on them, eh?"
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